There is a persistent belief in Western cultures that women are automatically more competent than men when it comes to any matters related to the household. The chores that women do are (a) performed correctly, (b) in the most timely fashion, and (c) in proper order. The chores that men do are incorrect by default, unless approved of by the woman of the house.

This is why a man coming down on his spouse for not doing enough housework, even if she is a SAHM, is labeled as a controlling abuser. A woman coming down on her spouse for not doing enough housework is fully justified.

Enter weaponized incompetence. According to feminism, there is a conspiracy of men coordinating to act stupid, incompetent, and otherwise unwilling to lift a finger around the house. They claim that women treat their husbands like children, doing everything lest the house simply collapse around them.

It's a common topic of feminist subreddits about how exhausted they are to be babying their men, who just want them to tell them what to do. I disagree with this sentiment as clearly the women, who neurotically micro-manage every single aspect of the men's lives, are causing them to freeze. As society has consistently reenforced the idea that men are wrong until corrected by a woman, it is the most natural thing in the world that they can't meet women's standards. Hell, these communities reinforce this attitude constantly.

There was a post on a feminist community a couple of days ago about a woman who assumed her husband was using weaponized incompetence to avoid chores. She would nag and shriek until hoarse at him for doing everything "wrong," and then get distressed when he didn't know what to do. Eventually he opened up to her about the abuse he suffered from his ex, which made her notice that she had also abused her past partners (who likely left her for being a total basket case). The entire post was everyone patting her on the back for being such a forgiving and patient wife, and noticing that despite her benevolence, she could grow more. Everyone applauded her for coming to terms with her behavior.

I doubt a man doing the same would have received such treatment anywhere.

This is the social situation that men have to live in. Prisoners in our own homes, with women as guards--women who will verbally abuse us when we do something "wrong." Women whose shit can be strewn across the shared living space, yet throw a fit when a man leaves a sock out. Women who look over men's shoulders at every single household chore that they do, ready to pounce at the second he does something in a way that she doesn't approve of.

My wife is a baller. She doesn't care about how we do the chores. We do them our own ways. I load the dishwasher one way, she another. I vacuum one way, she another. It doesn't matter. But I've had relationships in the past with women like that who almost assuredly assumed I was feigning incompetence to get out of doing the work. It's a seriously persistent problem of men getting henpecked for not correctly guessing what needs to be done, when, and how.

I'm tired of abusive nagging being so accepted under feminism. Men, if your lady cannot control herself and has a meltdown over how you wash the dishes, take a long hard look at your relationship. She's only going to get worse.