Curious about this r/askmen thread...question for rp and bp alike

hyperrreal · 2014-09-07T00:36:26+00:00

Now, according to what I've read in TRP, this contradicts male nature, since men are supposedly attracted to young, "pure" virginal types.

I don't think its an issue of raw attraction, as much as the 'kind' of girl most men want a relationship with. Most men I know wouldn't be more or less physically attracted to a women based on her number of partners. But they would be less willing to pursue an LTR with a girl who has a very high partner #.

I didn't bother to count the comments, but here you'll find a great deal of women saying that an. Overly sexually experienced male is a turn off, or that experience doesn't matter. The women who prefer "man sluts" are by far the minority.

In my opinion, women tend to sexually desire men that are desired by many other women. And there is a significant correlation with these men and men that actually have sex with a ton of women. Thus the confusion.

I know redpillers will dismiss the askwomen thread as "watch what women do, not what they say." Ok, whatever, that shuts down debate as its impossible to argue that. Man sluts become experienced because lots of women are attracted to them; but the same is true for women sluts, so I personally dont see this as a valid argument.

I see what you are saying about "do vs. say" and the impact on discourse, and I think it's a criticism with some validity. Having said that, I disagree with connection you are drawing between male and female sluts. The issue is that tons of guys will have unattached sex with almost any willing woman, but the same is not true of most women.

Consider the difference between heterosexual dating and the way gay men date. Gay guys are pretty much all down to fuck, and its totally normally to encounter gay men in their 20s who have partner counts in the 100s. Whereas with men pursuing women, its totally different.

I think TRP is accurate to the extent that most men would prefer marriage or an LTR to a women with a low # of partners, all else being equal. As for whether or not this is an inherent trait of male biology, a function insecurity, or the result of social conditioning I have no idea.

sleuthoftrades · 2014-09-07T01:35:27+00:00

Popular answers on /r/askmen are that they never get hit on/approached blah blah. Under those desperate contexts, I think the answers make sense. Of course the more desperate guys are going to prefer sluts - at that point they actually have a shot. I've noticed that kind of thing happening a lot on Reddit (particularly /r/sex) where the women with a lot of partners end up with men with very few partners. This kind of makes sense if you see sluts=male virgins in terms of SMV.

Having said that, neither subreddit is representative. And, IMO, /r/askwomen is much less representative.

Tombstone31 · 2014-09-07T18:57:25+00:00

If I want a relationship, I want someone with a low partner count. If I want casual sex, I want someone who puts out fast. Women don't have a problem finding prospects for casual sex because the vast majority of guys are dtf. The problem with the askmen thread is it doesn't specify what the guys are looking for.

Also, "inexperienced" is not the same thing as partner count. Someone could have had sex 20 times with 20 different people and would probably suck at sex. Another person could have had sex 1,000 times with 2 people and would be much better at sex.

We_Are_Legion · 2014-09-07T10:48:12+00:00

according to what I've read in TRP,

"Just" according to what you read in RP. You've never heard of slut-averseness in relationships? You don't think that preference is prevalent across every culture on planet earth? (Buss and Schmitt, 2007)

Some cultures more than most, sure, but lets not pretend RP invented this stuff. Paranoia to misattributed paternity is one of the strongly evolved factors in male attraction there is. From kamikaze sperm, to the plunger-like function of penis, to the preference for every quality in the book that would possible suggests the woman is chaste. Men's ego with their woman also plays great part satisfaction in sex and relationships. Hell, you practice it too, when you act coy in the chase, in dating in an effort to appeal to men.

Most men, are rationalizing away why they should overlook this emotional averseness, because their options would become fairly small if they stuck with the instinctive desire for loyal women. When you must deal with something, you start to see the positive sides to it. Those positives are real, but it doesn't negate the desire for the real thing. Like poor people celebrate being poor. Its a way to take attention away from the real thing. RP calls it hamstering. These guys say they're better in bed, when there isn't really much a woman does in bed that makes her good besides enthusiasm. Here's some askreddit threads that present large sample sizes. 1, 2, 3 , 4. Hilariously, all men say all they want in terms of skill from a woman in bed is variations of "enthusiasm". Men are very egotistical about sex.

I guarrantee, like 10 of those 14 guys would choose the less promiscuous of two identical girls for relationship if given the chance. And all of the 9 who are undecided. I also guarantee, the 6 who said yes will generally be more self-assured individuals i.e. who are likely to ask for what they want precisely. They'll have less problem admitting faults in themselves and being honest.

adrixshadow · 2014-09-07T09:48:30+00:00

If you are looking for sex, it doesn't matter.

If you are looking for relationship, it does.

The reason why a partner count is such a problem for women is because the beta they settle for in here 30-ties are pretty inexperienced, at best they are going to have like 3 partners.

For a "normal", "pure" woman of a round 20+ partners THEY ARE GOING TO HATE YOUR GUTS.

lev21pirate · 2014-09-07T13:37:52+00:00

I'm sure that adding concrete numbers to what defines experienced and inexperienced would change the opinion of those that answered.

a great deal of women saying that an overly sexually experienced male is a turn off.

Don't you think that the men that answered positively to sexually experienced women wouldn't be just as turned off if their "experience" reached a critical point? Shouldn't be "inexperience" also be defined in such a manner?

sheeshmobaggins · 2014-09-08T08:30:15+00:00

Ehhh your on reddit. I think most of the guys on here wouldn't care about partner count, they'd just take whatever they can get. As for a dude who's got his shit together and already has a healthy sex life, partner count will most likely be taken into consideration if a long term relationship is what he's seeking.

stickfiguresk · 2014-09-07T09:16:59+00:00

You got a mixed bag of answers because the question itself is the product of hamstering, I'll explain from a dominant's(BDSM) point of view:

A dominant only wants your enthusiastic submissiveness and your reactions to the things he does to you. A dominant only wants you to do what he tells you to do, or conversely, what he's trying to make you do.

Your past experience doesn't really matter. You just need to be open to try the things that I want to do. The OP in askmen is almost certainly a woman that's been around the block, fishing for validation.

M_rafay · 2014-09-07T11:06:05+00:00

Why would RPers care about what men and women say, rather than what they do?

Hell, most of the women in your link say they want a non-virgin. While I think its historically and empirically obvious men like virgins.

Within reason, a man who gets lots of attention from women, will get more attention BECAUSE HE GETS ATTENTION from women.

A woman who gets lots of attention or partners, will get a continuous amount of attention(as her attractiveness merits) FOR SEX. For relationships, attention will dwindle to nothing, quite fast.

MagicGainbow · 2014-09-07T12:43:59+00:00

This is askmen and askwomen, ask men will generally go with the sex positive answer, it's pure white knighting but it costs nothing to say over the internet, askwomen will go with the answer that makes them sound good, not many are going to admit even online that they prefer the players.

Title	Curious about this r/askmen thread...question for rp and bp alike
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	9
Comments	34
Date	September 7, 2014 12:16 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/2fogwr/curious_about_this_raskmen_threadquestion_for_rp/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/curious-about-this-raskmen-threadquestion-for-rp.284932 https://theredarchive.com/post/284932

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