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Define the term "date rape"

quantumdaulity · 2015-12-24T01:19:25+00:00

Some people say date rape is a less violent form of rape. Other people say there is no such thing as date rape. How do you define the term "date...

quantumdaulity

December 24, 2015

3 upvotes

/r/PurplePillDebate

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Post Information

Title	Define the term "date rape"
Author	quantumdaulity
Upvotes	3
Comments	30
Date	December 24, 2015 1:19 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/3y144l/define_the_term_date_rape/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/define-the-term-date-rape.277596 https://theredarchive.com/post/277596

Comments

[–]ozymandias271That's not how evolution works.13 points14 points15 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Broskidoski 6 points7 points8 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]exit_sandmanstill not the MGTOW sandman FFS2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]GridReXXit be like that3 points4 points5 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Sir_not_sir1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

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[–]quantumdaulity[S] -1 points0 points1 point 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]CreepyPsychoStalker 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I consider consent (assuming not out of it, of age, not blackmailed etc.) the absence of clear rejection when the action is projected. If they say 'no', 'stop' or anything with similar meaning, that's not consenting. If they start crying and you don't affirm consent, I'd consider that definitely towards the 'not consenting' side of things, also if they go still and silent.

So if a guy penetrated a girl in a club suddenly, there wouldn't be 'presumed consent' from my POV. If they're making out on a couch and he starts removing clothing and it's clear sex is going to happen, until she withdraws consent you're good and if you wake your bf up with a BJ unless he has made it clear he doesn't want that to happen and you have given him BJs before etc. until he withdraws consent you should be fine.

Body language, words, presumed consent are all fine by me. Passivity shouldn't be considered consent until conseent has been affirmed.

[–]questioningwoman 2 points2 points2 points 10 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]your_mom_on_drugs1 Corinthians 7:40 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]LimekillI am THE bunch of sticks u wished u were0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]KILOS_IN_MY_BAG 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Is taking a guy home with you a sexual situation?

Yes.

He may think that this is an invite for sex while she might have only thought about drinking something and hanging out.

If a guy wants to take you home after a date, or he wants to go to your place, or whatever, he wants sex. Period. If you agree to that after the date, I'd say you're entering into a situation where the motive is obviously sexual. If you go home with a guy and don't expect him to hit on you, frankly you are naive.

Simply going home with a guy doesn't mean you consent of course, but my point is if you go home with him and simply let him make his move without voicing any objections, yes at that point I think you have consented even if you do regret it afterwards.

Is kissing a sexual situation?

Yes.

Maybe she just wanted to make out, but doesn't want to get fucked yet.

Then she shouldn't allow him to make sexual advances on her. Stand up for your boundaries woman! Why is it the man's job to say no on her behalf? She has agency, she is a human being, yet she cannot be trusted to utter the word "no" when she doesn't want sex? I'm not going to patronise women by agreeing with that nonsense.

You do. If he escalates without talking or making sure she's into it he's obviously only basing it on his psychic abilities.

If I escalate the situation and she goes along with it that's body language for "I like this" here on my planet.

I expect the guy to read her body language, to look for enthusiasm and to dirty talk.

And I expect the woman to simply say no if she does not want sex. Not exactly a big ask.

[–]LimekillI am THE bunch of sticks u wished u were0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]BiggerDthanYouBluetopia1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Those that think date rape doesn't exist are the same that think that rape in a commited relationship doesn't exist.

It's very shitty to think that just because she consented to one thing she has to consent to others. She agreed to go on a date or to go home with him and the rapist now thinks she owes him sex and will take it by any means possible. Just like some guys think that if she consented to PIV sex she also has to let him fuck her anally and cum all over her which are different things that require different consent.

Of course silence isn't consent. If she wants to have sex she will at least show it with her body language and enthusiasm. Consentual sex can happen in silence, but there is still communication going on. Sex doesn't just happen. You make out, touch each other and slowly undress while always communicating non-verbally.

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