Hi PPD,

These are some questions I've had on my mind recently. Ive read some stuff on PPD and you guys seem like a good, knowledgeable bunch of individuals. Some of these questions might seem a bit trivial or nebulous, but I was really wondering what the general consensus was on them. Deep responses/conversation are very welcome!

  1. Why does it hurt so much to be rejected, and how does the usual reaction (eg. hurt) make any sense? It seems to me that one of the most powerful emotions one can feel is the sting of being rejected, but that doesn't seem to make much sense to me because throughout our evolutionary history the goal was to propagate one's genes. Should not evolution have hardwired us to not feel that pain in the first place?

  2. What do you think about the notion that there are various developmental windows in a human's life that are crucial in determining the nature of the person that one turns out to be?

Whats the consensus on all of that? For example there is a period in infancy during which an infant/child can learn and absorb linguistic inputs rapidly. However, that window closes quite rapidly. We all know that for an adult, it takes many years of study to pick up a new language and it wont be as well learned/organic as a language one has picked up during infancy.

Another example is that toddlers that don't learn to play with others by age two will apparently NEVER be able to interact and socialize with others properly. This time window could perhaps in some cases instil a sense of urgency in the parent/caregiver.

I'm not personally sure about the timeframe (re: socialize by age two) I have just heard that through conversation.

Also, a child/teen during certain "formative" years/periods needs to be in a rich social environment, with many opportunities in order to not be permanently behind in relation to their social learning. Various things can interrupt the child/teens development. For example, mental illnesses such as social anxiety and mild autism OR being a "late bloomer" OR bad acne which damages their self esteem. All of these things can perhaps permanently affect a child/teens identity formation as well as self esteem.

Also, if one isolates the child in any way their social skills will perhaps not get a change to develop/ and flourish. Or if the child has an experience which leads to a shattering of their confidence they will not get the experiences that will potentially lead to skill development. Eg. homeschooling a kid on a farm could be a possible situation which would impede. VS. Growing up in a bustling city might offer an ideal richness of exposure.

Growing up in a small town might perhaps fall somewhere between these two extremes.

Another component to this is the kid/teen's physical attractiveness/neurological capabilities are just as important; a kid who is not as attractive or smooth as their peers can be surrounded by people and opportunities but they may also have an impediment because of their looks. They might as well be on a farm. They will have less doors open to them.

  1. What does everybody make of how cool NBA players are? In terms of their incredible physique and what they do physically on the court, as well as their personalities, social skills and jock-ish, confident and cocky demeanour? They are the epitome of "alpha" in many ways and its fascinating to watch them on the court and off. What do you all think is the relationship between their physicality and their impressive attributes which are not purely physical? Just because they're such amazing athletes, why dos that make them as cool as they are? Is there some sort of biological-relationship between their cool-ness and athleticism, their swagger? Aren't they kind of like the ideal/alpha gods in terms of their coolness, smoothness and physical capabilities?

  2. What are the neurological bases for /coolness, /smoothness, calmness and alpha-ness and confidence/jockishness? I am normally extremely introverted, nerdy and awkward, unsmooth and uncool-- but one time I took some drugs and I suddenly became very confident and smooth and relaxed and was able make a lot of friends/people seemed to really like me. My posture and body language completely changed, and I felt similar to an NBA player, I had swagger! I was very relaxed and cool, backslapping and gregarious. Guys thought I was the shit and girls also enjoyed my company/ responded extremely well. The best way I can describe it is that I was very much like an NBA player, I had SWAGGER! People were also laughing at my jokes and giving me props/fist-bumps. Crucially, people were mirroring my relaxed, cool vibe and body language, and posture.

It was unhealthy because I was on drugs, but the experience did speak to a deeper potential of my brain that i think some people actually realize on a daily basis.

Again, NBA players would be my exemplar.