Realistic expectations for a partner?

fdslied2U · 2021-08-01T23:03:56+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Barneysparky · 2021-08-01T23:09:14+00:00

Did you grow up in a household that had Jerry Springer on in the background all the time?

Why are you still watching that crap?

dhuddheey · 2021-08-01T23:14:46+00:00

Stop watching fresh and fit, both of those dudes are losers and feeding you bad info. If you’re planning on marrying for religious reasons their content is irrelevant to you anyway, the women that they deride daily are strictly LA/NYC/Miami party girls, you’re not marrying any of them.

If you must watch a YouTube personality, go on Kevin Samuels’ page and watch his older vids.

You should expect your partner to match the amount of effort you put into the relationship. Expect your partner to follow the Golden Rule, and hold yourself to it as well.

WestsideMoonWalker · 2021-08-01T23:14:51+00:00

Not married (yet), but honestly, you can't "detect" anything. All you can do is evaluate how much you like someone (as a person), project out the type of person you think they will grow into, and adjust as you learn more information.

I also highly doubt you or most people, especially on PPD, will ever deal with someone taking advantage of their net worth, unless you either come from money, or get some fortunate breaks early on. And even in those cases, just living a relatively modest life screens out the uber-materialisric types. Other options include dating women who are fine carrying their own financial weight. They exist and aren't uncommon in some (mainly better off) circles. You're 18, odds are you have no idea what your future even looks like yet, and it's likely going to change a lot over the next decade.

Also, the content you are consuming is garbage, but others have said as much.

hazelstoner · 2021-08-01T23:39:54+00:00

I'm going to be honest, looking at potential partners as if they're going to potentially hurt/take advantage of you is not the way to seek partners. People aren't perfect, and finding a partner you want to spend the rest of your life with can be hard, but what you Should be looking for is someone that complements you. Someone you have fun with, shares the same values and beliefs, has some similar interests, things like that. I may not be married but I have met the person I plan on spending the rest of my life with. While discussing financial expectations is important in a relationship, especially when you're going to marry them, as long as both of you are setting clear boundaries and are both comfortable with what you have both decided, then it doesn't have to be an issue. And no offense, but looking at women as if they're automatically going to be greedy and manipulative is an extremely unhealthy take. If you're that concerned, there are some pretty obvious red flags for people like that. Wish you the best, don't take it all too seriously, finding someone you love and want to be with is a Good thing!

TomorrowsWar · 2021-08-01T23:47:09+00:00

Most people your age are being radicalized one way or another. Stay grounded in reality, take “advice” as that persons world view and see how it sits with you instead of following someone’s rules blindly

NICHIJOU2411 · 2021-08-01T23:10:52+00:00

I’m gonna be honest but take my advice w a grain of salt. I’m 19 and pretty much have the same questions you do, swap out fresh and fit for Undead Chronic, but other than that the same. I’d say try to get out and meet as many women as you can, platonic and ones you see as possibly relationship worthy, don’t change standards that you see as reasonable, and just try not to stress about it. I’m not a psychiatrist but that’s the best i got.

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-08-01T23:13:09+00:00

Don't expect anything. Know what you want and find someone who meets that criteria. Compatibility is not always going to be established on the initial dating checklist. You could meet someone who sounds good or looks good on paper but over the course of a relationship - start discovering some things you don't like about them and potentially have to start all over again.

So, to reiterate, don't worry about expecting anything from a partner. Know what you want and look to see if any people match. Then take things from there. If you don't know what a healthy relationship looks like, then I'd also suggest you start learning how to cultivate one with yourself and the people around you.

poppy_blu · 2021-08-02T00:14:01+00:00

How do you get married religiously but not legally?

detective_do_most · 2021-08-01T23:19:06+00:00

Are there women dumb enough to agree to “religious marriage because I am scared you’re a gold digger so no legal one” instead of just a prenup?

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DplusLplusKplusM · 2021-08-02T01:19:37+00:00

Married person here (legally instead of religiously). Turns out that if you marry someone who earns around the same as you there's no way for them "taking advantage" of you. Whether your union is legal or not you can still get nailed for "palimony" if you make the mistake of "marrying down", that is not caring about your partner's income and net worth. So you're already being smart to know that 25+ is key. But you'll also save a lot of potential bickering ammo if you can bring yourself to love someone who's ambitious and cares about her own career. It's not like there are no attractive and self sufficient women out there. Aim for the full package instead of the one that only looks good on the outside.

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-08-02T01:20:32+00:00

No advice threads

DreamsOfWishes · 2021-08-02T01:33:57+00:00

I’m planning on getting married religiously (25y+) instead of legally

You can choose to get married or not and both are somewhat reasonable possibilities BUT in what world do you think that you are able to only marry a woman religiously???? No one is gonna agree to that.

And here's what they don't tell you when redPill goes on and on and on about marriage being bad for a man: Men bounce back easier and faster then women from a divorce. Men benefit ambitiously from being married. The regular "divorce rape" that men face...is actually just the assets getting devided to how they would have been if you had never been married. You wouldn't have been so well off without marriage either. Jointly building something speeds shit up, being able to take more risks because double the safety nets, speeds shit up. Etc etc.

Men just adjust to married and the financial benefits of married life and when they're single again, they think they're being treated unfairly for having the financial situation of a single guy. Which is also why men tend to remarry much more quickly then women (but marriage sucks for men amiright! That's why the one's who have experienced it...wanna go back quickly).

And before you get started on alimony: that shit is in your control. Don't choose a dependent. Don't create a dependent. Don't do shit, that causes a judge to go "we need to help this woman because she got crippled by this marriage and she's not capable of being a functional member of society anymore.". That's in your control. Don't do shit like that or don't participate in shit like that and there's no alimony.

But you can't want a dependent like a stay-at-home mom and then not get alimony. And that's not getting screwed over. You wanting to get out of alimony in such a situation: is wanting to screw her over. Just don't get a dependent.

And 90% of custody cases are settled outside of court. 90%, but redPill will tell you that men get screwed out of custody by the system, while 90% is signing their signature on the custody arrangement. The system isn't involved in 90%. And of the 10%, there keep being new laws to prevent sexism every year. This isn't gonna be a real worry by the time you might have a divorce. It's not even a real worry anymore today. It was a real worry 10years ago. But today?

Where are your up-to-date horror stories with proof of it having happened IRL? All the stories they can find are old because that shit barely happens anymore and the only times it still happens is with a reasonable cause for the judge to make a mistake (think the ex wife being a vicious criminal creating fake evidence and catching her is jailtime).

The cause of most of the horror stories in the past (parental alienation) is considered child abuse nowadays. You can remove custody FROM HER for that nowadays if you can proof it. You can call CPS on her for suspecting that. Did redPill tell you that?

MaximGainesII · 2021-08-01T23:05:44+00:00

Just buy a bunch of monero and hide it.

Demasii · 2021-08-01T23:17:58+00:00

Unfortunately you are not going to know the "truth" about women and dating dynamics until you go out there to experience it.

Remember many of these TRPers and the women they date are a part of an older generation. Your generation will have a different set of problems, culture and values. Many are also trying to sell you products online to make money. A good chunk is clickbait.

Focus on yourself by working out and make friends. Building friendships will help you with your social skills. Women don't like dating loners.

Title	Realistic expectations for a partner?
Author	rightful_hello
Upvotes	0
Comments	69
Date	August 1, 2021 11:00 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ow2e7g/realistic_expectations_for_a_partner/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/realistic-expectations-for-a-partner.796241 https://theredarchive.com/post/796241

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