Unable to get over onenities, support needed!

Eezay · 2020-01-02T11:02:29+00:00

Hey. You. Yes, you. You will be dead one day. DEAD. 100%. And here you are, wasting your precious time lusting after a married slut that would drop you dead just as she does with her husband. You are better than that, brother.

Workaholiconew · 2020-01-02T03:37:54+00:00

My friend,

First, delete all your connections to her, if you can, also block her. Men are not women, we can forget our exes if we stay away enough. but you need to get away.

Second, find a creative hobby, I recommend carpentry It helps you work out calories, helps get new furniture, and helps gain a bit of extra money. Try making a small series of bookcases and shelfs and get going. All you need are some nails, measure tape, some wood, some metalwork and a saw.

Third, do some exercise and stay in the sun the recommended amount, you need some endorphins in your system, I can say that by your writing style. Seafood may help too. Oh, contact your friends you lost in this relationship. Company helps a lot.

Fourth, avoid vices. alcohol, drugs, hookers will not help you now. Avoid also sad music. You must focus on making things correct. Just forgo and forget. As IT says, turn off and on again.

Finally, DO NOT go back into the market right now. You gonna fail and it gonna make you even more miserable. Women don't care what happened to you or who you are, just what you provide. You are in no condition to provide anything now. Recover.

Good luck.

whydidntthey · 2020-01-02T03:50:22+00:00

Ugh. A married whore looking to get banged out isn't there for you to fall into oneitis with. She's looking to get fucked. Maybe after you start banging her she'll freak out and leave her husband or whatever but she's just looking for the D. For some reason she confused you with a fuckboy.

How the hell do you have oneitis for a married slut you went on one bad date with?

WestsideMoonWalker · 2020-01-02T03:35:33+00:00

This is dumb.

NockerJoe · 2020-01-02T04:40:51+00:00

Smoke weed. Like, a bunch of weed.

I smoked a shit ton for a week or two and it helped, and I say this as a guy who isn't super into the stuff and was pretty straight edge until recently. What's gonna happen is you're gonna smoke and you're gonna get distracted by stupid shit and lose your motivation to chase this bitch long enough to break that habit and once you're out of that period you'll realize you spent that period not really caring and you didn't die and she didn't check on you and you didn't die and so you can just live your life in damn peace.

To me this kind of problem boils down to being alone, but with your thoughts. So if you can change your thought process for a little bit you may solve the problem.

yasee · 2020-01-02T05:01:52+00:00

maybe delete instagram

Emervila · 2020-01-02T16:13:42+00:00

TRP pretty red here.

You don't have onenities, that's good. You have infatuation only, you didn't have a relationship to develop oneitis.

She is right on not answering your messages, she wanted to have sex with you 1 year ago and you refused, she wanted again and gave you a chance then you failed again. Married woman and those who are upfront about it they just want quick sex. She wanted sex but you didn't so why keep messaging you? also, the way she did it so fast to set the date up it means you were only a resource out of many other she has. Notice there is no real emotional bonding, she's not working an emotional bonding with you.

Thing is you look for an LTR GF, therefore, her being married and cheater doesn't fit you, I understand you but you failed. You failed bc she already cheated and it's not your fault but hers, you could have sex with her and move on, couple times and keep looking for a nice lady.

M4sterDis4ster · 2020-01-02T12:43:31+00:00

She is married and cheated with you.

She has many followers on instagram and she gets a lot of attention ( according to you ).

She gives numbers to other men.

I'm in disbelieve on how weak, how arrogant, how disrepected I was.

You disrespected yourself because you have low self esteem. No wonder you attract broken women who then walk all over you.

You are her bitch.

also the woman I'm talking about is non-european neither north american.

If she lives in Northern Europe, she already assimilated liberal world view. Count her as Norweigan girl. Arabian women do porn if they live in France.

You need a shrink for support.

akaean · 2020-01-02T13:44:18+00:00

I'm in disbelieve on how weak, how arrogant, how disrepected I was. It has been long and I cant get over it yet, because the problem I go and there are several pretty and I finds lots of women attractive, I seriously have never been attracted in my life to a woman this much and ofcourse she feels that she has me in her pockets, she can walk over me, cuck me, date other mens, chads, tyrones and I cry here like the little bicht that I'm

My dude. You have some serious issues you need to work through. First, she was married... so... like, we already know she doesn't take loyalty very seriously. You knew there was no potential for this to go anywhere anyway. You keep saying she was your type... but if your type is awful people who will betray you at some point... then you do you buddy.

That said, I quote the above because it is really... telling. Sometimes relationships don't work out, sometimes we don't get the girl we really wanted to get. Sometimes girls don't get the guy they really want to get. That is fine, that is normal. Sometimes we get to know somebody and we realize that we aren't as compatible as we thought and have to call off the relationship. Its called communication between consenting adults, it is healthy.

Nothing you have described in your post, which is your version of events (subject to bias) indicates that she did anything wrong (except well of course, the whole cheating thing, but... she didn't do anything wrong to you.) You went on a few dates with her, she got to know you better. You expressed some of your views about the world, " telling her she should not mention to me that she gives her number to other men" or "me telling her that it is natural for a man to be offended if his woman desses provocatively or he hears comments about her from other men" and here is the kicker, you added this, "etc..." which implies that more similar statements were said. I'm not going to make any comments on the validity of your feelings on these issues, that is neither here nor there. However, not everyone agrees with those thoughts and she is under no obligation to feel the same way you do. Moreover, if her own (malfunctioning) moral compass cannot be aligned with your world view, she has every right to tell you this isn't going to work out.

At no point did you describe a single instance where she disrespected you. Telling you "no" is not disrespect. Telling you that "she doesn't want to keep dating" is not disrespect. You cannot be "cucked" by a women that you aren't dating. Human interaction is not merely a power struggle between men and women. Rejection does not equal disrespect.

Now, the Red Pill isn't 100% wrong about everything (the underlying philosophy is still absolute garbage though and the rationale behind things is almost entirely wrong), and I think most blue pillers will also tell you that "oneitis" is a bad thing. That said, the reason oneitis is bad, is because no person is under an obligation to date someone that they don't want to. If a girl wanted a relationship with me, really really really badly, I still wouldn't be under any obligation to date her, even if she had obsessed after me for years. Likewise, my desire for a woman alone is not a sufficient reason to give her any obligation to date me, if she isn't feeling it. At its core, "oneitis" is the obsession for someone who doesn't reciprocate the same emotions. Its always best to move on, find someone else who shares your feelings. This world isn't a Disney fairy tale. There is no "the One" that you are destined to be with. But you may make a really powerful connection with someone you care deeply about, and if you spend your time obsessing over un-reciprocated emotions you may miss out on opportunities to be happy and find a real and fulfilling partner.

As for practical advice, the best thing I can tell you is to take some time with yourself. Maybe reflect on why you feel the way you do. Otherwise just live your best life. Focus on work, take a vacation, etc. The best cure for oneitis is to recognize it for what it is, stop yourself from thinking about it when you catch yourself and letting it fade over time. Reading books, playing video games, playing sports, vacations, distract yourself until your feelings fade. They will fade, even the strongest feelings can fade with time if you let them.

Tyler_Gatsby · 2020-01-02T16:38:52+00:00

Ok, read the other post to get the full context after seeing people mention the, "married" part. I have been the guy on the side multiple times, and just broke it off with a married gf this week.

You had your chance to fuck her, and should have fucked her brains out. You didn't, you nice buy bitched out and turned her off.

Had you made her cum until she literally shook, you would be the regular guy on the side. She wouldn't flirt with other men in front of you. She'd treat and look at you like her own personal mini vacation, her cheat day of her diet. He's just work- you're her day off.

You don't get a married woman to leave her husband for you until after you fuck her- if even then. You might can dump her, then she calls you up in a tizzy telling you she really really left him this time, they fought about it/she told him she met somebody else/etc. and all that may be true. But she's still the woman who was actually happiest having her cake and having it eaten away from home too. She needs the drama in her life. The naughty, taboo excitement of the sneaking off, doing something wrong, and could get caught.

You either have to be, "that guy" for her, or find a girl who's not, "that girl." Sounds like you really want to be her that guy... So should just eat your moral code, go see if you can meet her, kiss her, and fuck her like there's no tomorrow. Then come cry to us a couple few months later when she still hasn't left him but tells you sincerely how much she loves you more than she ever did him. Make your bed and fuck in it or don't.

Lord_ImperialSurname · 2020-01-02T21:25:51+00:00

The truth in life is, girls come and go. You may lose amazing girl today yes, but that doesn't mean you won't get another amazing girl in the future.

abond0082 · 2020-01-03T01:11:48+00:00

This is dangerous, you putting one person on too high a pedestal. Everyone eats,shits and bleeds into a toilet no matter how great they look. Stop wasting your life,read,lift and meet new women in your area.

TheJim66 · 2020-01-02T03:38:39+00:00

She was hot.Fuck some other chicks and get over it.You weren't arrogant then ,you were normal.But you are being a little bitch right now

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goatismycopilot · 2020-01-02T03:32:36+00:00

abond0082 · 2020-01-02T03:39:05+00:00

[deleted]

Pontifex_Lucious-II · 2020-01-02T07:41:10+00:00

Fuck a prostitute, then write down some attainable goals- both for the short term and the longterm.

Pick a hobby, it can be anything- chess, painting, jiu jitsu- and get really good at it. Throwing hundreds of hours at something will make you good at anything.

Lift weights and be realistic about your style. There are tons of resources to improve in these areas if you don’t know anything about them. (I’m not gifted in fashion sense so i asked my exes, sisters and other friends what to get, now I have a few goto outfits).

The truth isn’t what you want to hear, but it is encouraging- she’s not important. She’s nothing like what you’re building her up to be in your head. A day, a month, a year from now she will be nothing at all.

Orange_Paisley · 2020-01-02T18:15:46+00:00

She was married, let it go.

Title	Unable to get over onenities, support needed!
Author	abond0082
Upvotes	2
Comments	61
Date	January 2, 2020 3:19 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/eishns/unable_to_get_over_onenities_support_needed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/unable-to-get-over-onenities-support-needed.304199 https://theredarchive.com/post/304199

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