Advice on Parents

socialtrinitarian · 2021-03-07T07:36:37+00:00

If you want to keep working out, you basically have 2 options:

1) move out (possibly into a flatshare) 2) purchase home gym equipment

One possible route would be to start saving up now for a deposit and in the meantime, get some basic equipment and start training (like a set of dumbbells). This will also mean that once you do Eventually get to the gym, you'll know what you're doing.

WhereProgressIsMade · 2021-03-08T20:21:51+00:00

Yeah, I get this attitude from other Christians a lot - that they somehow see taking care of our bodies as a sin for some reason.

I think the key is why you're doing it. For me, at 42, I mostly started working out to take better care of my health so I can live longer and the years I do have left, I'll be more able-bodied. If my wife ends up being more attracted to me, that would be nice, but is not why I'm doing it.

This aligns well with 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 where it says our body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, so we should take care of it.

1 Timoty 4:8 frames it well:

For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.

Basically, make sure your heart is right with God. If it's not, pursing fitness has a high chance of taking you down the path of vanity. For example, I've been tempted to post on Facebook my progress, but I have deliberately not done that because I don't want my reason for doing it to end up being out of seeking validation from others. I look in the mirror and like what I see and that is enough.

It's interesting your parent's are worried about you approaching women in the gym. Maybe that was a thing back when they were your age, but it's generally a pretty bad idea these days to cold approach any women in a gym these days.

I started with an adjustable dumbell that ranges from 5 lb to 25 lb. That got me started doing bicep curls, tricep extensions, chest press, front raise, and lat raises. It cost me $80 at Target. You could see how they feel about something like that. If not, there is a lot you can do with just body weight. There are progression guides for push ups for example on how to progress through to being able to do 1 arm pushups. A pull up bar is another good option that doesn't take up a lot of room.

TheChristianAlpha · 2021-03-07T16:00:43+00:00

If it were me, I would have a conversation with them where I asked them why they thought it would be a lustful environment and why they thought working out is vain. Be prepared what their responses could be and have answers addressing all those objections. If your answers are adequate you should be able to go to the gym. That's just the salesman in me. Everything is a sale. You could probably even Google search positive benefits of working out.

If that doesn't work then figure out how to start buying a home gym, even if it's a tiny one, and work out there. While you are living at home you should be saving saving saving saving your money for something to invest in.

oilwellpauper · 2021-03-07T20:13:30+00:00

You are an adult, there's literally no way they can stop you from lifting weights

aleatingasandwich · 2021-03-07T12:17:21+00:00

Working out at a gym is expensive and really only necessary if you are REALLY intense and serious and have graduated to needing a gym and its equipment.

You are on Reddit, so i assume you have access to the internet.

Buy some body resistance bands online ($8) and look up workouts on youtube

You should NEVER lift weights until you master your own body weight anyway. Quick way to hurt yourself.

Crap, I'm sorry i thought you were a woman! Look up cody nickson on insta. Has a whole program and is anti gym. He is ripped!!

Bruh-Nanaz · 2021-03-09T19:47:31+00:00

Don't worry about being skinny at your height. As a natural 80kg/180lb 6'4" guy myself, I realized this too late in my lifting years. You want to exploit it - focus on getting ripped instead, and while you're building up strength you will naturally put on size over time. When I was young I went for size first, but during breaks where I focused on my diet instead, I found I actually really liked my physique quite a bit more while slim with strong definition and abs. TRUST, chicks love a guy who is ripped and clearly strong just as much if not MORE, than big and buff. Just don't neglect your strength work and hypertrophy will come. Promise.

One thing I've learned in life is instead of minimizing perceived faults, to maximize what you have to work with. I used to be pretty self conscious, but nowadays I try to be realistic about what I was blessed with, and enjoy the way my body was made naturally. Everyone has particular assets that look good on them specifically.

Some folks are naturally handsome but do not have particularly attractive bodies. Others have it vice-versa. Have big eyes or a strong nose? Play them up. If they are a clearly defining feature, trying to hide it will just make it look worse. Find ways to make those features work with you. Emphasis shows confidence, and wearing a defining feature artistically with pride makes you look unique and intriguing. Showing respect and appreciation towards your natural self WILL look good regardless of what those particular assets are. You will feel better about yourself too, which is what you really want.

On the note of your parents, they do have a point. If you want to demonstrate that you want to focus on your physical well-being and improve yourself, you don't need to be in a gym. Yes it is ideal to be in one, but you can show willingness to compromise and do your lifting regimen at home. If you can't get ahold of home-gym equipment, make some yourself. Try a broom handle and jugs of water. Each one is 8#. Tie three together and you've got some 25# weights. Find something to lay down on and you've got yourself a 50# barbell to bench with. It might not seem like much but it's a good place to start. Try weighted pullups for an epic back workout.

Determination will be your friend in this endeavor.

aqf · 2021-03-10T03:07:46+00:00

How about the /r/bodyweightfitness subreddit? Everything you need to know about working out from home.

GolfBulky · 2021-03-12T04:01:55+00:00

Sorry if this comes off strong but personally they make absolutely no sense and something sounds off here. It's agitating to me that people are trying to keep others from going to the gym. I don't know if you're an only child or something but they may just be getting overprotective as you've grown and gotten older. Lust among other challenges will be everywhere anyways even if you're locked away at home given that you have access to the internet. You gotta go into the world and put your faith to work. They need to learn to trust God and trust you; trusting that you'll be ok.

You're doing the right thing by being willing to do the work. The Bible says that our body is our temple and as Christians we're supposed to take care of it. It's not a sin to take care of your body. (Core Principle: 1 Corinthians 9:24-27) On top of social benefits, (making friends who you can workout with, stay motivated with, also casually talking and being comfortable around women) there's ENDLESS health benefits to going to the gym and lifting especially at your age and size. (Your Testosterone levels, improves bone density, reproduction, stamina, flexibility, etc.) You're better equipping yourself to protect your future household. Parents can throw that verse around but in this instance how do you do that when it contradicts what God has said?

That aside, personally, both of my parents (Both Christians who are still married) first met each other in the gym. Maybe your blessing is on her grind in there too.

If you find yourself tempted, by all means flee but you are now legally a man capable of making your own decisions and joining the military if you wanted. Personally take it up with God and as with everything clear it with Him first.

That being said, it might not be popular here, but what I would do is get a membership anyways and just workout before or after work or whenever you're already out while saving some money for equipment in the meantime. (Barbell, bands, kettlebells, dumbbells, etc.) If they notice and ask, tell them the truth, tell them how you feel, and sit them down with an explanation on hand. Let them know that you still love and respect them. They may be upset at first but be understanding and respectful as this is something they should get over. "Oh no my son is straight, works hard in all areas, loves the Lord, and wants to better his life by being healthy outside our home." Lol

Be respectful and courageous. You're entering your prime, it's time to put in the work and level up. Best of luck!

Title	Advice on Parents
Author	Virtual-Slip6478
Upvotes	8
Comments	22
Date	March 7, 2021 7:19 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RPChristians
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/lzllrp/advice_on_parents/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RPChristians/advice-on-parents.1191280 https://theredarchive.com/post/1191280

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