First post. I'm going to dump a bunch of stuff here, confession style, and ask for advice.

Background: I work full time, my wife is a stay-at-home mom to our 1 year old. My relationship with my wife is just ok. We get along and don't argue much, but I'm not really happy with my home life in general.

  1. My wife is very bossy. Lately I've been trying to correct her when she says something like "go change Baby's diaper" and instead get her to say "please change Baby's diaper." At least that way it's in the form of a polite request.
  2. My wife is very messy. She'll leave dirty dishes around, clothes everywhere, etc. Any time I call her on it she says something like "I was trying to deal with Baby. I didn't have time." I know dealing Baby can be exhausting, but it was like that even before Baby existed.
  3. My wife is very overweight. She outweighs me by about 100lb. She was a little heavy when we met, but not enough to make her unattractive. Since then she's slowly gained. Now I'm not very attracted to her, and that hurts our sex life. I think she thinks I have a low sex drive (I don't) since most of the time she is the one who initiates.
  4. My wife wants me to be more dominant in bed. I never really knew how to put that into practice, although recently I learned that the light spankings I was doing wasn't what she wanted. She apparently likes hard, painful smacks on her butt. I'm willing to keep learning, but at the same time I can't really manhandle her like I want because of #3.

Where do I go from here? For #1 I guess I'll keep trying to correct her bad habit. #2 and #3... no idea. I don't see how I have any control over that. #4, I guess I'll just keep trying to be more dominant and less afraid to really spank her, since obviously it's what she wants.

Edit: Requested info

  • Mission: Good question. My honest answer is probably to raise my kid and keep my wife happy.
  • Stats: Body fat: around 15-20% (a guess), 6' tall, about 170lb, I can bench about 170 on a really good day.
  • Reading: I've read through about 1/3 of the pdf, still working my way through it
  • Finances: I've got a good job and make decent money. I didn't mention it, but this could be #5 on the list: getting my wife to stick to our budget. As a result we have more credit card debt than I'd like, and it's a source of stress for me.
  • Spiritual: Getting better. I stagnated for a while, but meeting her was one reason I started going to church more regularly.