Honest question.... | RedPillWives

[–]Irisandoleander [score hidden] 9 years ago stickied comment (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]tintedlipbalm6 points7 points8 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]ThatStepfordGalEarly 20s, LTR5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]MetalDevils points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]ThatStepfordGalEarly 20s, LTR1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]MetalDevils points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I see a lot of claims of behavior driven by biology, and then the brushing aside of people that don't fit the norm (gays, bis, lesbians, trans). How and why does RP claim to know all about nature and biology while ignoring those groups? I understand that the number of people within those groups are not as numerous as the heterosexual slice, but I'm not sure a solid theory should try to sweep them under the rug.

It seems like a definite weakness in the overall theory so far. African Americans and Native Americans don't make up the bulk of western population right now, but at one time Native Americans were, and the demographics are still shifting.

There are many examples of non monogamous, gay, and free-floating sexual networks throughout the animal kingdom. There are animals that can change their sex to meet the needs of their environment, and males that are the main caretakers. There are also lots of examples of monogamous and lifetime pairs too of course. Wouldn't rp be more accurate to say that it is simply one type of biologically focused theory and acknowledge that it doesn't encompass everything? Maybe it's how dismissive rp theory is of groups that don't fall into the largest slice that causes a lot of criticism? Just a thought!

[–]ThatStepfordGalEarly 20s, LTR0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]MetalDevils points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]ThatStepfordGalEarly 20s, LTR0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]teaandtalk29, married 6 years, together 80 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]MetalDevils points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]teaandtalk29, married 6 years, together 80 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]teaandtalk29, married 6 years, together 86 points7 points8 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

TBP was created to criticise TRP. And that's okay, as long as they're not being inappropriate (doxxing, personal attacks, etc). I don't want to live in a bubble where we don't assess & critique things that are written.

Why am I 'red pill'? I have realised that there are a lot of innate differences between men and women that much of mainstream society doesn't acknowledge. Does it mean that I think all women are one way, and all men are another way, and there's no overlap or variance? Not at all! But being aware of the general tendencies really helps my relationships, because I'm more attuned to the nuances of what men (generally) want and what I (as a woman) can provide.

I don't think all posters in TRP have healthy mindsets, but nor do I think all the posters in TBP do, or /r/relationships (heck no). You can learn a lot of things when you realise that no-one is perfect, and nothing is black-and-white. You can realise that men and women are different without thinking that they should have different rights or are worth more/less.

[–]MetalDevils points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]teaandtalk29, married 6 years, together 80 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]rpw111528married 5yrs | ENFJ | LLL | 2 kids2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]MetalDevils points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I just mentioned to another user that I definitely made the post while in shock. They pointed out that it's unfair to pick the unpopular opinion thread, but it seemed like the ideas are very popular here? I did write in another comment on TBP that I don't like to judge people on race, sex, sexual orientation, geographical location (if you get the drift). I realized that I was doing exactly that with the thread. That's why I mentioned it in my post, I wanted to try and talk to people here and learn if I can. Someone here told me to read the sidebar and I will after I finish responding.

Users on TBP told me that trying to engage with rp directly would be a waste of time, they may be right but I thought I should try. I didn't delete or hide anything. I'll also say that the user profile I was linked to seemed to be unfairly judged in terms of participation. The bp user said that half their activity was split between TBP and here. I checked it out, and that isn't true. The last post made was a year ago to TBP.

I figured if they could be mistaken about posting habits....they might be mistaken about other things.

Do you think it would be preferable to not try, or ask? I do want to give things a fair shake, and at least try to understand, regardless of if I ultimately agree.

[–]rpw111528married 5yrs | ENFJ | LLL | 2 kids1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I wanted to try and talk to people here and learn if I can.

Fair enough. Much like the actual Matrix, most people do experience a little bit of "wtf" when they encounter RP ideas for the first time, because they are so different from what is mainstream. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt here and engage.

Someone here told me to read the sidebar and I will after I finish responding.

Yep - the sidebar is the go-to resource for the basics, but it also always nice to have someone to talk back and forth to while reading, in case of clarification etc.

Users on TBP told me that trying to engage with rp directly would be a waste of time, they may be right but I thought I should try.

We get a lot of people who come to attack rather than engage, so RP subs tend to be pretty defensive, much like other "counterculture" arenas.

I'll also say that the user profile I was linked to seemed to be unfairly judged in terms of participation. The bp user said that half their activity was split between TBP and here. I checked it out, and that isn't true. The last post made was a year ago to TBP.

I believe Phantom (the user in question, pinged above) engages a lot here, but also on /r/PurplePillDebate - a crossover area where redpill and bluepill folks can discuss/argue ideas (thus, purple). I don't know much about her post history, though, but she's definitely a valuable and helpful mod here. :)

Do you think it would be preferable to not try, or ask?

Again, most of the time you're going to get redirected to the sidebar, but it can be overwhelming. So, if I had to give a 500 words or less summary of Red Pill Wives, this would be my stab at it:

For women, Red Pill ideology consists of being aware of the innate biological differences and tendencies of men and women, and using those to achieve our desired outcome of having a happy, stable marriage. The red pill ideology is a series of tools and methodologies to create this happy, sexually exciting, and, importantly, imbalanced marriage - one that has one and only one clear leader. Here, we generally strive to make ourselves better and more psychologically feminine. In doing so, we free our husband to become better and more masculine and free our marriage to become more harmonious, passionate, and efficient. It is not a Stockholm syndrome ideology, as we are acutely aware of our man's fault, but instead of harping, nagging, and complaining, we accept that we can only change ourselves, and being inviting, feminine, and supportive is the best way to give him the space and support he needs to be the best possible version of himself.

Other ladies, feel free to nitpick.

[–]MetalDevils points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]tintedlipbalm0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]stonepimpletilists 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]rpw111528married 5yrs | ENFJ | LLL | 2 kids1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]littleeggwyfEarly 30s, Married, 10 years total4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (39 children) | Copy Link

[–]MetalDevils points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]littleeggwyfEarly 30s, Married, 10 years total1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (36 children) | Copy Link

[–]MetalDevils points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I guess there's a difference between personal opinions about groups of things (for example: I still have a hard time seeing what's wrong with single moms) and personal opinions about how you live your life. I don't think it's nice that you were attacked about things that you do for yourself or in your relationship. Attacking larger ideas seems less about the person and more about the idea. You did something that works for you, they may have wanted to attack the idea but really they only focused on you.

A better, less hurtful way would have been to say in a more general way what the thoughts are about voting and staying informed, how to handle stress, and how mothers deal with fitness.

I don't know if that makes sense or not? You should not have been the subject, the ideas overall should have been the focus.

In tbp post I made I did link to specific comments, but I was bringing up general ideas. I wasn't attacking the person specifically, I'm still a bit stunned by the statements. I honestly don't know why single moms are hated. Some may have lost their husband, also military wives are basically single moms for most of the time while their husbands are deployed. Divorce is also a possibility, and I don't really understand the point of despising young women that are struggling and doing the best they can. Is it the same attitude of dislike if the woman is wealthy and chooses to have a kid and can pay for a nanny? If so, then it isn't about single moms, it's about wealth. I don't like the idea of being hard on people that already have it hard.

For the object comment and how women dress. I don't like judging a book by its cover. I don't want to make assumptions about people, because they dress for different reasons. Some goth kids will be really unattractive to people and give the impression they don't want to talk to people. But it can be a way to hide and avoid the risk of being hurt. Not every woman that is beautiful and tidy is actually happy. Appearances can be deceiving, so I like to know the person before making judgments. That's why I'm here. I judged the ideas, so I'm trying to get to know the people that believe in those ideas and better understand.

[–]littleeggwyfEarly 30s, Married, 10 years total1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (34 children) | Copy Link

I don't know if that makes sense or not? You should not have been the subject, the ideas overall should have been the focus.

It makes sense, but the problem i had with it and why i argued is that noone really cared what my reasons were, they jumped on MY preference as if that was my view of what everyone should do, which it isn't.

It was like if I'd said i only play tennis reading into it that i want to ban all other sports. Someone looked through my post history and found that i'd had trouble breastfeeding my baby to make mean comments about me as a mom. That was just trying to be as hurtful as possible!

I wouldn't despise single moms, but I don't think it's the best way to raise children and I think it makes life hard for the mom and deprives children of a father figure. If women can avoid it, I think that's a good idea really, but I get that life isn't simple.

Dressing nice and presenting yourself well is up to each person, i haven't read your post on TBP so maybe i'll read that and reply more later.

[–]MetalDevils points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Yes, the comment about your ability as a mother was low. I can understand disagreeing with someone, but I don't think insulting people directly is helpful. I think there are reasons why people see things differently. I am sorry that my shock spurred me to post on a sub that I think is not at all about anything other than laughing at people. At first I didn't really think anything of it, but I was hasty to post on TBP as though it was an objective community without also considering that this community also operates with many members that have different experiences but still share the same outlooks.

I'm probably going to ask more questions as I work through the core material, but I will do my best not to seem as shocked and reactive. I can see that it put people on edge and made them distrusting. I don't see fault in that. If someone appears to be bullying your friend, why would think of the bully as a possible friend?

I can agree that it's better when children have a whole and loving family. It's so much to take on for a single person. DOes the same distrust apply to single dads then?

Yes I agree many people like to dress nice, but depending on the groups they hang out with that will mean something different. Punk fans won't dress like a corporate business person. In that way nice will change around the world. Dress is such a personal thing but many people don't care about it at all and are more work obsessed. People don't always share the same priorities and I know that what is normal in one culture may be obscene and inappropriate somewhere else.

[–]littleeggwyfEarly 30s, Married, 10 years total0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (32 children) | Copy Link

[–]MetalDevils points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]littleeggwyfEarly 30s, Married, 10 years total0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link

[–]MetalDevils points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

So more in line with mainstream ideas of feminine dress, and beauty standards then. I'll have to look at the sub more later.

I can get behind the personal accountability, and even putting the person you love and your relationship first. But I'm not sure why having sex matters either way? If a woman isn't looking for a relationship, shouldn't she just do whatever, and focus on vetting for a decent guy later on? I realize now that a lot of this has to do with women wanting a leader, and everything else revolves around that goal. If you want a specific kind of guy, then you cater to that type. I guess dating has always been more laid back and instinctive among my friends.

I don't know that any of this would work for my friends, and there is a specifically heterosexual and western slant.

Does this mean rp ideas fail in non western cultures?

[–]teaandtalk1 point 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]tintedlipbalm1 point 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

If a woman isn't looking for a relationship, shouldn't she just do whatever, and focus on vetting for a decent guy later on?

later on when? youth is the most valuable asset for a woman in the sexual marketplace and it rapidly depreciates.

Sexwise, a promiscuous woman is like to become jaded which is not a wife material trait. Interesting charts

I guess dating has always been more laid back and instinctive among my friends.

It is nowadays, people date with no purpose and women "fall" into relationships with their peers. This could generate many issues, such as structural attraction problems ("I love you, but I'm not in love with you"), baggage depending on how late is the relationship (alpha widowing, AFBB), fertility issues depending on how late the woman settles, structural problems in the dynamic that lead to divorce (primarily disrespect and vying for dominance in "equal" relationships)

and there is a specifically heterosexual and western slant.

yes there is and it's specifically stated in the sidebar, which you clearly haven't read

Does this mean rp ideas fail in non western cultures?

female and male nature persist in non western cultures, but they are not tackled by TRP as this is a body of ideas that was born in the west in direct result of western feminism

[–]littleeggwyf1 point 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]tintedlipbalm0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

[–]MetalDevils points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]tintedlipbalm1 point 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I think it's more baffling to assume that being heterosexual is better just because of the sexual orientation of the parents.

Who says it's about sexual orientation? It's more about direct influences in PARENTING of both sexes, or lack thereof. Not what they want to bang.

I don't know why gay couples would be any less capable than straight couples

This is not for us to decide, but for future statistics. Like I said, I'm not pro or against until we have more information on the outcomes in development.

I'd care more

Cool, but it's not about us in hypothetical. I too would think it's very cool that every child is loved and wanted and has a great upbringing.

What affects does being the child of a gay couple have on a child?

It remains to be seen. I just love how pro-same sex adoption are always about what the adults want, like the kid is an afterthought.

to pretend that those things have less potential to cause just as much damage

No one is pretending that

There are many abusive and irresponsible heterosexual couples, they can make kids whenever they want

Same sex couples can also reproduce by using donors or surrogates. It's not forbidden

[–]HappyWifeLifeX 3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]MetalDevils points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]HappyWifeLifeX 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]MetalDevils points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I don't know if you have been reading my comments here or not. The only BP comments I have made since I posted this thread are:

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheBluePill/comments/6gi5m5/obesity_single_mothers_and_objectification/diqz6hh/

Someone said that TRP is good for a laugh. Someone else said users here post on TBP. I assume they aren't posting about this sub. It's odd that TBP is not a sub that supports RP but RP users still comment there?

and I replied to a user that is from this sub but commented on TBP thread I posted

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheBluePill/comments/6gi5m5/obesity_single_mothers_and_objectification/dir9034/?context=3

I haven't been making other comments or judgements there and I have been asking questions. For example I don't understand the hate for single moms. I already said this but I'll repeat it here. Military wives are practically single moms and have to do everything on their own, some moms may have lost their husband because he died, or they started out married and got divorced. I also don't understand why people would be mean to young and possibly poor mothers that already have a hard life. I asked if the same dislike applies to wealthy moms that can afford a nanny. If the rich women are NOT disliked, then it seems that it's less about single moms and more about being rich. I don't like judging or putting down people just because they are struggling and poor.

I'm sure you do get a lot of trolling, but if you read my comments here (and even on TBP thread I posted where I pointed out one user was unfairly assessed about posting habits) and you still think I'm just out for a punch line and a laugh then I don't know what to tell you because I';m not.

[–]HappyWifeLifeX 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]MetalDevils points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]HappyWifeLifeX 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]MetalDevils points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]HappyWifeLifeX 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]MetalDevils points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]HappyWifeLifeX 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Title	Honest question....
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	50
Date	June 11, 2017 5:04 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/6gjqzt/honest_question/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/honest-question.208901 https://theredarchive.com/post/208901

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