Can form-fitting clothes be modest?

VasiliyZaitzev · 2023-02-23T15:03:00+00:00

it really hurt me that someone would see me as immodest.

Is this someone whose opinion you should value or more of a rando who likes to exert control over others? In general, I am not in favor of letting the most fragile/controlling/loserish person in the room set the rules.

I have found that people who get OFFENDED! etc. lack the requisite maturity to control their own emotions and expect the rest of us to do it for them.

Armchair678 · 2023-02-23T14:42:58+00:00

Women have been wearing form fitting clothing that accentuates breast and waist areas since the 1500’s. So for over 500 years. Even wearing corsets and bustier type undergarments to make their figures look even more feminine.

Now there are some religions that don’t allow this even today like Islam, amish, Mormon, orthodox Jewish, etc. so idk where your specific religion falls on the subject.

Over the last couple hundred years we’ve learned that men can control themselves around women and not act like dogs in front of a raw steak. We expect them to be able to be respectful and not think of women inappropriately. Apparently he hasn’t gotten to that point yet which is in of itself sinful. He should not be thinking about your body and the sexual nature of it - much less talking about it unless he is your husband.

youllknowwhenitstime · 2023-02-23T16:50:55+00:00

This isn't a religious (or traditional in lifestyle outside of philosophy of gender interactions) forum, FYI. You'll mostly get secular responses.

I, personally, never wore those kind of dresses (form fitting above the knees). A lot of common, normal clothes don't bring the kind of attention I want. That said, the idea that your options are on the tighter end and leggy vs a potato sack where you can't see curves is a bit dramatic. There's a lot of flattering modest fashion inspo out there, if you're contemplating updating your look! I find Kibbe types help me make great, modest fashion choices that aren't frumpy.

Also, seconding the people saying that guy is off and probably someone to avoid. None of the religious communities I've been in would have a norm where an opposite sex member could randomly approach someone to discuss their modesty. Same sex, possibly.

Astroviridae · 2023-02-23T18:06:42+00:00

This group isn't religious, so not exactly an appropriate place to ask. But I will answer from my religious (traditional Catholic) perspective. Form fitting (skin tight) clothing isn't modest in my opinion. If it's tailored to fit your body but doesn't hug your body, it could be fine. I think skirts/dresses should go beyond the knee to be considered modest. Hard to judge without seeing an image.

That being said, a lot of online religious groups lean (religiously) conservative. The members of that group probably do have a stricter definition of modesty that you do not adhere to. It's a little weird that this man went out of his way to comment on your clothing. I have fairly strict modesty standards for myself yet I still wouldn't comment on another woman's clothes unless asked. If you're interested in dressing more modestly, use pinterest/instagram for inspiration and check out r/modestdress.

Wife_and_Mama · 2023-02-23T17:22:45+00:00

I'm a practicing Catholic, a very traditional faith, and I dress fairly modestly. If you're not shaped like Jessica Rabbit, what you describe sounds perfectly fine to me, in regards to it being form-fitting. As for length, I recommend kneeling on the floor and placing a ruler next to your leg to mark the inches with a pen. Anything that's more than an inch or two above the knee probably isn't church appropriate. This can vary based on height. A shorter woman has less leeway than a taller one.

As for scolding a woman he doesn't even know, that guy can pull on his Chitty Chitty Bang Bang style swim trunks and go jump in a lake. If you're really worried, I second asking a woman in the group.

PeachGotcha · 2023-02-24T02:26:45+00:00

Do not take modesty advice from men that aren’t;

1) Your priest, 2) Your father, or 3) Your husband. If he is none of these tell him to kick rocks and not to contact you in any form again.

Edit to add; I’m Orthodox Christian

PerspectivePure2169 · 2023-02-23T14:48:28+00:00

There's several parts to this:

One, he was likely way out of line. In most social contexts, but particularly a religious one, it should not have been a man telling you you're dressed too sexy. Why was there not a woman talking to you about this if it were an issue? If I were a man leading this group and felt it was an issue I would have asked a woman member what she thought and had her address it if an issue.

This guy feels off.

Second- if it's perceived as too immodest, then it probably is. Regardless of intent. These things are not cut and dried. An attractive and shapely young woman will draw more attention and can be percieved less modestly in the same outfit as a plainer woman. It's not fair, but it's how humans are.

In a new group, you should err on the side of being conservative. They all develop their own subculture of what is appropriate, and you have to learn it. My wife and I aren't religious, but occasionally attend community events at churches. She always overdoes on modesty, because we are outsiders and seen differently. I've seen a neighbor woman - a regular there - wearing a tight dress and knee boots that mine absolutely would be judged for. But she is well known and respected and that earns her more leeway.

Again, perhaps not fair, but it's how social groups work.

Finally, if you're ever unsure on an outfit you already have on being too form fitting- put on a sweater, a scarf, a shawl. Tie your hair back or up. There's usually a way to quickly dress it down.

I suggest you talk to a woman in this group. Both about dress and about this guy's behavior, which seems wildly inappropriate to me.

LateralThinker13 · 2023-02-25T07:38:47+00:00

> can a woman show off her waistline and curves while maintaining her modesty?

Modesty is in the eye of the beholder, and very, very subjective. But here are some things that can increase modesty:

Drab colors, rather than flashy/sexy colors (skin color, or bright colors, esp. red)

Thickness of clothes - thin is more revealing, thicker/textured is less revealing

It's not hard to be modest. But it's nearly impossible to please some people. Decide if their opinion is worth caring about, and make your decisions from there.

MrsTurnPage · 2023-02-25T18:13:13+00:00

Modest is subjective like most things. For me I prefer not to wear stuff that form fits my hips. Higher neck line and empire waist. When I wear leggings I pair it with tunic style tops that cover well below the bum and crotch. This is over kill in the realm of western civilization but Ive always been real weird about the way womens pants fit.

As for your outfit...the come back is that your dress adheres to military style dress uniforms. They are tailored to fit form, and skirts are 1 inch above or below the knee. The skirt is only slightly less fitted than a pencil skirt. They are meant to be modest but still allow the military woman to show she is feminine. Is he about to accuse the military branches of hoe attire?

We can't set modesty standards with the criteria it does or does not attract the male gaze. I could wear a moomoo and probably still get looks because I have a large bust and I'm really tall for a woman. You do what is comfortable for you.

buni223 · 2023-02-23T18:19:23+00:00

Not really, no. And also, I think if you’re religious, you would be better off praying about it. If you’re concerned about modesty for traditionalism’s sake, then yeah I’m sure the dress you wore would be considered semi modest. If you care about modesty in a religious sense, then no, form fitting attire or stuff that “shows off your curves” (aka kind of flirty) is not going to be considered modest in all three of the major monotheistic religions. What dressing modestly looks like for whatever religion you’re a part of would be dependent on your faith’s rules, not RPW.

Also traditionalism can take a lot of different forms so you’re not going to be able to please everyone. For example, a traditional Orthodox Jewish woman is going to look a lot different from a traditional secular woman. You should be secure enough in yourself to not let your sense of self hinge on someone else’s criticism.

merchi11 · 2023-02-23T14:48:11+00:00

unless we see the picture we can't say for sure.

form-fitting is immodest in a religious setting. though some waist emphasis is ok (but not in muslim/other super strict religion)

AutoModerator · 2023-02-23T14:20:32+00:00

Title: Can form-fitting clothes be modest?

Full text: Hi ladies, I’m hoping to get some advice on what dressing modestly looks like.

I recently joined a religious/faith group chat on a messaging platform to have some discussions about faith with likeminded people. I was using that app before to talk to my friends/family so I had a profile picture up. In the picture, I was wearing a form fitting dress that was a bit above my knees. The dress isn’t overly tight - it’s something you’d wear to an office, work appropriate but it is tighter at the waist so it shows my silhouette. I also wanna note that the neckline is above my collarbones so my chest is covered while wearing this dress. I felt that it was a modest dress but I guess it did show off some of my beauty.

I had a male from the group message me to tell me that the way I dress is not appropriate and sinful. I told him I disagreed and consider myself pretty modest in the way I dress and how I carry myself. Essentially his argument was that it’s immodest for a woman to wear a form fitting dress that shows off her curves.

I’ve been thinking about this interaction and it really hurt me that someone would see me as immodest. It made me question my integrity as a traditional woman. So I wanted to hear your opinions on wearing form fitting clothes… can a woman show off her waistline and curves while maintaining her modesty? Does a woman have to wear loose fitting clothes concealing her curves and beauty in order to be modest?

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Timely_Variety823 · 2023-12-03T04:02:14+00:00

I am a woman and modesty is a difficult question for me to. but I look at the walk signs and bathroom signs that show male and female figures. we see that the silhouette of their body is the distinguishing factor. Adam and eve walked on this earth naked before sin and shame came about. God tells us in the bible to not wear mend clothing. In American culture men wear baggy clothes and woman wear fitted clothes. So From my understanding it is immodest to hi-light sexual features like each buttcheek or excessive cleavage perhaps even the belly button. But our womanly curves is what differentiates us from man. so i believe God wants us to love being a woman and highlight our figure. When I see a woman in form fitting clothes I feel inspired to get out of my shell. Also When a woman looks good she feels good and therefore she just might do good.

Title	Can form-fitting clothes be modest?
Author	CauliflowerElegant76
Upvotes	12
Comments	22
Date	February 23, 2023 2:20 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/119yuvb/can_formfitting_clothes_be_modest/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/can-form-fitting-clothes-be-modest.1153623 https://theredarchive.com/post/1153623

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