Cheating: is it okay?

sugarcrush · 2013-08-03T00:35:50+00:00

Cheating is not okay. It is definitely a deal breaker for me. I've been in a relationship where I stayed after cheating and it was never the same. And he cheated again.

"Trust takes years to build, seconds to break, and a lifetime to repair."

Offensive_Brute · 2013-08-03T16:28:06+00:00

You dont take a woman for your wife and then lay with other women. You might want to plant the seed of suspicion in her mind to keep her on her game, but the actual act, for me at least is going too far. As a man, when you do this, you are undermining your own self worth as well.

Sex is good, and nice, and it would be ideal that your wife would comply with your desires, but to bring disorder into your house and dishonor your own wife, because she wont suck your dick, is pretty ridiculous. Your priorities are all sorts of fucked up if you think BJs are worth all that.

Even in the context of a non-committal relationship, if monogamy has been discussed, it should be observed. I dunno where RP stands on the issue, but this is my personal opinion.

2013-08-03T01:08:47+00:00

i dont think its ok or not okay, but if i refused to satisfy my husband sexually for some reason i would probably not find it a dealbreaker if he cheated.

the problem with cheating, to me, isnt the sex per se, its the secrecy and sudden discovery a man has been lying to you about where hes been going and what hes been doing. id be less alarmed by a man cheating to get some "strange" as the boys say than him having a full on emotional affair with handholding, i love yous and intimacy other than sexual.

hateCaptchas · 2013-08-03T01:37:06+00:00

I don't consider that advice to be good advice.

No, it's not acceptable - but it can be understandable and that's a very, very different things.

I don't really have dealbreakers - well, except the children thing.. I'm sterile and I don't care to raise children. As for cheating, it would vary wildly with regards to the situation.

If the situation was he wanted more blow jobs and mine weren't acceptable because I didn't follow some strict rules he laid down that were just not practical - then that's just spiteful and I don't need to remain in that situation.

If the situation was we were geographically separated (as happens in life) for a period of time or an 'out with the buddies' kind of thing - then I'd be more understanding. That understanding would be directly proportional to how he handled it after. Does he let me know? Does he take responsibility for looking after my health and well-being (get tested)? How sensitive to my feelings is he about it?

If the situation was that he was in combat or other very stressful situation (life/death) then he has a much wider latitude - though I'd expect him to protect me from his behaviour if there was an after. But, honestly, if there wasn't an after and he found some warm, willing comfort the night before, I'd feel better.

Everything has a context.

TempestTcup · 2013-08-03T18:18:14+00:00

Cheating is a deal breaker for me; it's the ultimate betrayal. If he is willing to throw away a relationship, 3 decades in the making & spent building our lives together, on some other woman, then he will be set loose. I trust him completely & do not ever think that he would cheat, though; he knows how crazy & toxic today's women are. He's seen it firsthand again & again.

FleetingWish · 2013-08-03T03:36:59+00:00

Cheating is only cheating when it's not consensual. Only cowards cheat, because either they are too afraid to break up with their partner first (if they want monogamy), or they are too afraid to admit that they are seeing someone else (if they want polygamy). If I do advocate "seeing another person" my intention is never to mean "behind the first person's back", be open about what your doing so that she can be informed, and make a decision about how she wants to proceed.

margerym · 2013-08-03T01:39:30+00:00

Cheating is not a deal breaker for me. I have a problem that these days it has become such a required deal breaker, actually. I find it ridiculous on many levels. But is it "okay"? No. If it was "okay" that'd be called an open relationship and Red Pill doesn't condone those within the framework.

2013-08-03T14:30:24+00:00

Cheating is only if there is an explicit understanding of exclusivity. In red pill frame, good luck getting that unless you've proved worth. Most of us would happily go on spinning plates and replace you if you pressed the issue. Those of us in LTRs that found red pill after the fact have to work within those constraints. Chances are if that's the case he should dump her if she's not following the program.

OnlyOneWayToImprove · 2013-08-03T00:55:20+00:00

I can't speak for red pill philosophy in general, but cheating is a dealbreaker for me. What's a relationship without trust?

fuk_offe · 2013-08-03T04:08:42+00:00

Never is treason ok !!!!!!!!!! WTF?!

Where is that post you mention?!

carenbol7 · 2013-08-04T00:50:06+00:00

Personally, as a man, I would NOT use this advice. And in fact, it would be a dealbreaker for me if i knew my girl cheat on me for any stupid reason.

cockmuncheryolo · 2013-08-03T02:08:15+00:00

If my gf suddenly stopped wanting to have sex here are the steps I and many red pill members would take.

I'd ask her what's going on.
If it's a genuine reason that's ok, no biggie I'd give her time
If Bullshit answer and or excuse such as I don't feel like it/nt tonight/etc = unacceptable. Immediately break up and start having sex with former fuck buddies.

Simple as

Although in my case my gf knows that I can leave at any time and have sex, this both keeps her on her toes and actually makes me more attractive to her. The fact that I chose to be with her is all that matters

Whisper · 2013-08-04T13:43:40+00:00

I think the question is "under what circumstances?".

Obviously, cheating in any relationship that has an agreement of monogamy is serious business. But a relationship is a contract. If one party is in violation, then the other party needs to think about how much of that contract they need to hold up.

If you tell someone they can only sleep with you, then you better keep them satisfied. Anything else amounts to a chastity belt. This doesn't mean doing absolutely anything they want, however.

In between those two extremes, there's a grey area. And that has to be judged on a case by case basis. There are some levels of not living up to your responsibilities that don't warrant cheating. And some that do.

And yes, women cheating is worse than men cheating. The sexes are different, remember?

Title	Cheating: is it okay?
Author	HisWoman23
Upvotes	8
Comments	65
Date	August 3, 2013 12:25 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1jlkzp/cheating_is_it_okay/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/cheating-is-it-okay.83927 https://theredarchive.com/post/83927

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