I’m currently in a traditional relationship where I do pretty much all of the housework and take care of the children. I get questioned on this sometimes by my mom and his mom, who are in marriages that are definitely more “egalitarian” or BP, where the woman is considered “the boss.”

I’m very happy in my relationship, but I do feel uncertain about how to address questions and concerns from others.

“Doesn’t he help you around the house?” “My husband washes dishes, does laundry, I couldn’t have done it without that help!”

That kind of stuff. I generally feel a lot of appreciation for my guy. He’s a very hard worker. I don’t feel that this is an issue or that either one of us is doing more than the other. We have a great dynamic and a lot of love. But no, he doesn’t do dishes. And no, I don’t feel resentment over this. I don’t let myself!!

So I’m curious, do any of you have interesting anecdotes or stories about effective ways of explaining your relationship to people who just don’t get it? Or who are feminist or BP minded? Have any of you developed a sort of elevator speech about how your relationship works and why you’ve chosen that particular dynamic? Do you have links or articles you send people about the effectiveness of traditional relationships?

Also, how do you protect your minds from BP messages of “injustice” within relationships? I still find that sometimes these questions bring up insecurity in me, and I’d really like to let that go.

Thanks!!