Hi everybody.

Firstly, I love this forum!

Secondly, I’m just hoping for some advice on the dynamic in my marriage please. My husband has a job where he is required to be very competitive and somewhat aggressive in nature (litigation lawyer). He does very well and is able to support me to be a SAHW. I respect him immensely. His background was far less traditional than mine, but he’s always indicated that he wants something different to what he grew up with. Over time the dynamic between us has become much more traditional, with him being more masculine and allowing me being more feminine. He is much happier nowadays and I think he enjoys how he’s developed over time. Anyway, he still has this habit of frequently speaking to me in a really “competitive” or “bantering” type manner. I don’t enjoy this at all, as it makes me feel like I’m one of his mates or colleagues rather than his wife. I worry that this is his default setting, and that he struggles to just be nice sometimes. How should I approach this? We have talked about it before, and the frequency has reduced, but it still feels too much for me. I feel more happy and safe and feminine when he’s not in his “work personality”. Sometimes I feel dramatic like “oh my gosh does this mean we aren’t even compatible!?” but I rationally know that I’m being extreme when I think that. I am in healthcare and my personality is much more of the communicative, gentle and empathic type I think.

Any help would be greatly appreciated. I hope I asked this in the right section!

(Both 29yo, married four months, been together for ages if that helps)

xo