Hooking up after a break up

Frrrosty · 2019-01-21T22:49:36+00:00

Some people just can't stand being alone, they need validation from the opposite sex. I wouldn't say it's a guy thing, I'm a guy and my ex and I were together for 3 years and she got together with her co-worker within the week of me leaving.

stripethrowaway · 2019-01-21T23:21:34+00:00

Whereas you've been trying to make it work, it's been a tumultuous relationship and he's probably been contemplating ending it for a long time. Now that it's over, he's moving on. It just ended for you, but it probably ended for him a while ago. At least he has the decency to wait until it's over to see other people.

Take a lesson from Sodom and Gomorrah, my friend, move on and don't look back.

WarViper1337 · 2019-01-21T23:36:47+00:00

Men and women hook up for different reasons. For men a hook up has almost nothing to do with emotions other than it is some fun no strings attached sex. For women a hook up is often linked to an emotion of some kind that needs to be validated. Men also have a biological urge to have sex with as many women as possible while women do not. Finally since your relationship failed I would imagine he has built sexual tension that he is ready to get off his shoulders.

There are also some inconsistencies in your story. How can he be dominant but still want someone equal to him? You claim to be traditional but a traditional woman according to RPW is one that is seeking a dominant man to surrender control to.

fluffdumpling · 2019-01-21T23:35:15+00:00

I can only begin to imagine how much pain and hurt you’re feeling. It’s so hard when you give your entire being to someone and they just throw it in the trash while bragging about it. Honestly, it’s easy for me to say something like “you dodged a bullet”, but I know there’s going to be a lot of pain and healing that has to be done.

You truly deserve someone who will value and love and cherish all that you have to give and won’t throw it away when they get bored.

loneliness-inc · 2019-01-22T19:21:13+00:00

This post is a mess.

My boyfriend (30) and I (F28) broke up 2 weeks ago after a 2,5 year relationship + plus living together for 6 months. I’m still hurting from it,

Sorry to hear that.

however, I found out that he has already hooked up with someone and as he told his friend “has no regrets” and is looking to hook up with a girl his friend is going to introduce him to. Yet, I’m here heart broken after the break up because I really loved him.

Okay. Some people will say "you broke up, he isn't your man, you can't expect anything from him anymore". Others will say " different people heal at different rates". Others will say "it's a rebound and is likely to fail" others will say "the heart feels even though you are no longer together". There's a bit of truth in each one of those.

Here's a RP perspective on the dynamic you just described.

When you broke up, your friends reassured you that he will never get someone as good as you. In other words - your value (SMV and/or RMV) is greater than his. You bought this argument (at least to some degree). Because you felt as if you had higher value than him and the hypergamy instinct is to find the highest value man you can get, you were okay with the breakup (as okay as one can be).

But then he starts hooking up with girls. This clearly demonstrates two things 1. That he's valuable enough to pull in New girls right away and 2. That your value is so low, you're easily forgotten. Whether these two things are true, false or somewhere in between is irrelevant. This whole scenario sends you these two messages and that's why you feel so hurt. You suddenly feel as if 1. He's of much greater value than you realized and 2. You're of much lower value than you realized. This in turn causes you to feel like you won't be able to find a new man.

This is why you feel like shit and it's understandable.

We broke up because he was very dominating over me, it was either his way or the highway and I am a traditional girl, while he wants someone more “equal”.

I read this a few times and it still makes no sense to me.

A traditional marriage is not egalitarian at all! For him to be the leader who has the last word is to have a less equal relationship, not more equal. It makes no sense that he was this domineering leader who also wants more equality. It also makes no sense that you wanted something more traditional but had an issue with him leading.

You also don't say who broke up with who. This is important.

I’m beautiful, I’m kind, happy, smart, eastern european, faithful. He’s American from a rich family, smart, handsome, career oriented. Anyways... my friends said he will never do as good as me

What value do you offer to him? What value do you have to offer to a future man? In what way is this value much greater than the value he provided ?(being wealthy, driven and career oriented etc)

but why would he starting hooking up so quickly? Is it a general guy thing?

Once you guys broke up, does he need to stay emotionally bound to you to the point of paralysis? He doesn't and as a young healthy man, he's interested in women and so he found himself other girls. It's as simple as that.

Whisper · 2019-01-23T01:25:15+00:00

my friends said he will never do as good as me

This means nothing. It is a mouth noise girls make to other girls after a breakup so that they can sound like nice, supportive, caring people.

Women do not tell each other the truth. They lie in order to sound nice.

The fact, you feel bad because you found out that he could have another you in about a week. You feel bad because you found out you aren't all that special after all.

You have two choices now. You can either seek out people who will lie to you and soothe your bruised ego, or you can leave the past in the past, work on yourself until you actually become harder than that to replace (rather than simply telling yourself about how "beautiful, kind, and smart" you are.

This choice will determine your destiny.

Zegiknie · 2019-01-22T13:42:36+00:00

What he does, doesn't matter anymore. Time to let go now.

JFH1986 · 2019-01-22T02:06:33+00:00

Because it’s over. Move on.

minyman60 · 2019-01-22T15:33:56+00:00

I broke up with a girl of 4 years, 2 living together, I believed I was going to spend my life with, however it boiled down to her wanting a child right now, and me never wanting one. The pain was really raw at the time and shed found a guy on bumble and started a relationship with him. He actually ended up being an a abusive prick and she ended up pregnant. I still remember her coming over to sort some house stuff out, and her looking so smug and smiling as she told me she had met someone new, and how she couldn't answer the first phone call because they had sex. Super smug as she started describing it before I just walked away.

It was very painful, it took a long time to get over but I really did grow during the pain. It's gonna hurt OP but remember to do some growing :)

Was a couple years ago for me, everything's great now

soft-sleepy-kitty · 2019-01-24T19:50:53+00:00

Men who sleep around are perfectly capable of a stable relationship; when they aren't in one, why shouldn't they have fun? He had you, it was good while it lasted, now that's done he's back on the market. I don't understand why that is an issue, except your remaining feelings for him. Move on, girl, you're only going to hurt yourself if you dwell on it. Be yourself, be your best.

Title	Hooking up after a break up
Author	missguidedme
Upvotes	8
Comments	22
Date	January 21, 2019 10:43 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/aig013/hooking_up_after_a_break_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/hooking-up-after-a-break-up.196724 https://theredarchive.com/post/196724

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