I have a "tone"

spicyfoot · 2017-08-15T13:56:33+00:00

I was having the same issue not that long ago. In my case, I had a lot of unaddressed things on my mind that I subconsciously took out on the people around me. After I realized this it became obvious whenever I did it. I also realized that I had a bit of a resting bitch face, which can contribute to people thinking you're coming off harsh. I plucked my eyebrows to make them look less "angry" and pointed downwards and it really helped so much. That's just what helped me though!

teaandtalk · 2017-08-15T08:51:30+00:00

Listen to some people who sound kind, sweet, and warm. Then try to replicate some of their intonations. Practice by speaking into a recorder & playing it back.

HardRockB · 2017-08-15T14:08:48+00:00

Try listening to ASMR channels. You don't have to speak as quietly, but they have a soothing tone to their voices.

MetalDevils · 2017-08-15T17:23:38+00:00

Form your thoughts fully before speaking. If your mind is racing, don't feel pressured to speak immediately. I am fond of saying "I'd like to think this over. I'll come find you in 20 minutes?" Or I will otherwise schedule another time to speak with them.

I depend on my planner. I have to write down what I do each day for work, so I can refer back to those details when something needs to be verified. Along with my planner, I also keep a personal journal. I write out my thoughts and organize them. It's not always possible to go through my preferred process of organization before I have to talk about something. In those instances, I write 3-5 bullet points that I want to bring up.

It's very easy to let your mouth run away with your thoughts. Try to take a few deep breaths, don't feel rushed.

Talk with a slight smile. That will lighten your voice, and bring a lighter cadence to your words. I'm not sure if this is a good example or not, but on the show "Parks and Rec" April is very sarcastic and brooding, and she doesn't have a very warm presence.

Practice your facial expression in the mirror. Use a recorder and talk. Listen to the recording. Practice different inflections and speak more slowly.

MrsMandelbrot · 2017-08-15T19:14:38+00:00

Consider joining a local Toastmasters club. You'll get lots of practice speaking on topics you're passionate about and good feedback about the impression you make when speaking. Seriously, it can be life changing.

AndyKane · 2017-08-15T21:57:13+00:00

Are you from the northeast, specifically New York? Lol I ask because I have this conversation with my coworker from Brooklyn all the time.

kaylin_xx3 · 2017-08-16T03:02:07+00:00

I feel you. My husband over the past year or so has made more and more comments on my tone of voice. It's just how I talk, and how I've talked my whole life. I am very expressive. My mom is the same way too. It's very difficult, for me at least, to change how I've always talked. I'm still working on it myself.

Calliope101 · 2017-08-18T13:37:11+00:00

Have you heard of an org called Toastmasters International? Its an all-volunteer group. My gentleman has expressed an interest in joining, and has wondered if I want to join him.

I was part of one years ago and really liked it. Its something I'm thinking strongly about.

https://www.toastmasters.org/find-a-club

IlsaLaszlo · 2017-08-19T01:29:41+00:00

Oh boy. I feel for you.I used to get so heated WHEN I KNEW I WAS RIGHT,I could debate for hours,using and abusing any word that came to mind.If I had a dollar for every time I was told "you'd be perfect if you're tongue was removed" I'd own Reddit.

However,once I realised it is in no way,shape or form the recipe for invitation to any Captains' ship,I started working on it.One sentence helped me tremendously...

"What they think doesn't matter...because what you think doesn't matter either."

Or I just envision kittens.

RPWhelpthrowaway · 2017-08-22T16:47:14+00:00

I have this same problem, and when I've tried to correct it in the past I often came come off as bored instead of annoyed. I've worked on smiling a lot and being more expressive, it seems to counteract tone issues!

Title	I have a "tone"
Author	trumpolina
Upvotes	20
Comments	37
Date	August 15, 2017 8:07 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/6tst4x/i_have_a_tone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/i-have-a-tone.73295 https://theredarchive.com/post/73295

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