Is it too late?

nspikeu · 2017-02-18T21:15:25+00:00

Its almost never to late. Keep working on your goals.

Don't get caught up in regret or only talking about how you want to change.

The biggest apology to a guy is your actions, not your words.

Whtrucker · 2017-02-19T00:59:24+00:00

We men are almost all too eager to forgive and forget. If you treat him well from now on, everything will almost certainly be fine.

redlawbluelaw · 2017-02-18T21:11:11+00:00

If he's still with you, then he must see a good reason to be. That means that there's definitely something to salvage. In fact, if you make it through this rough period, your relationship may emerge stronger than ever.

I would recommend that you talk to him about what you're thinking. Apologize for past mistakes and commit to being a better girlfriend, and a better woman, in the future. Ask him for his help.

And if he's a beta, maybe encourage him to adopt some alpha traits. The boys at TRP pedestalize being an alpha, but for relationships to succeed there needs to be a balance. However, that also means that if a man is too beta, the relationship is at risk of falling apart as well. Your prior behavior was likely acceptable to him because it compensated for his own failings. He needs to become strong, though he also needs incentive to do it.

If you both commit to improving, and to helping each other improve for each other, then I think you have the potential for one of the few relationships (maybe even marriages) these days that can be called a success.

Littlewifey · 2017-02-18T22:14:54+00:00

It's up to you to change and become a better woman for yourself.

Only time will tell if the relationship can be saved but the norm is that we're human and we all make mistakes and also know how to forgive unless we're unreasonable or whatever happened is unforgivable in our eyes.

Your relationship will only benefit from a change. Better to start now and go through a breakup later and keep on working on yourself then keeping on emasculating the man you love until he can't take it anymore.

onacasserole · 2017-02-19T02:39:01+00:00

All you can do is continue your path to self-improvement. Men tend to be pretty forgiving, and he stuck with you through your non-rpw phase, so I think he'll honestly just be happy to see the positive changes. At the risk of sounding like an older woman lecturing a younger woman, you've only been with this guy for two years...assuming you don't have infidelities, massive lies, children from previous relationships, or ex-husbands/ex-wives...I highly doubt the "baggage" is as extreme as you feel like it is. :) be kind to yourself, it's great that you found this new way now instead of ten years down the road. Just keep going!

frpilled · 2017-02-18T23:38:02+00:00

Thanks everyone for the lovely advice. I decided I'm going to make a plan and stick to it (yes I'm list obsessed). I just need to prove to him through actions that I can be a good partner , not just words! Thanks for the kick in the butt!

Kurai_Sen · 2017-02-19T09:25:53+00:00

There's never a thing as too late.

If you've been on this sub, you can see so many women who've turned their relationships around, and they're likely worse than yours. As long as you've become aware of your shortcomings and strive to improve yourself, everything should be just fine

TheLaughingRhino · 2017-02-24T02:36:14+00:00

Some sage advice I've been given over the years is there is the version of what you used to be, and those people will always see you as "that person" and will never fully trust the new person they see in front of them.

Most people detest change, they don't know they openly detest it, but it challenges them to face their own change, change that says ugly things about their choices and their path in life. Think about it, in order for you to "change", odds are you had to face some truly ugly things about your choices and character and things that prompted you to want to be the "best version of yourself"

While it's sort of brutal to say, I find it's often better to leave most of your past behind you. This current relationship is a "casualty" of the new you. There is a quote in the movie Interstellar that's very interesting, in order to "Move Forward, You Must Always Leave Something Behind"

If you "loved him", you would have treated him better. The answer is not to question whether you love him, but whether you love yourself. A person who loves and values themselves would never lower themselves to be abjectly brutal or cruel to another that they want or claim to have emotional investment in in life.

The "war" for the better version of you is full of bloodshed. Ask anyone here or on the TRP who had to face unpleasant change. But is a "war" This current hostage is your current BF. He will never see you his savior, he will always see you as the terrorist who hurt him.

If you've hurt him, apologize for your sins, and then walk away. Do it to save you, do it ultimately to save him. There is no saving "us" in this battle.

Consider him being with you and staying with you during this "nightmare" time says something about him. And his emotional health. No guy should be OK with being brutalized in any relationship. That he did means deep down, you'll never respect him. That might not be evident now, but it will at some point, and how much time do you want to burn to see that become evident.

It matters less that you believe you "love him" and more that, by your actions, you simply don't respect him.

My advice, let him go, don't date anyone, just focus on being an emotionally healthy and productive you. And if you have a next time with someone else, remember the lessons you learned, and don't take them lightly. Someone had to pay in blood for you to understand them.

During any process of "change" there is a fight within you to want to go back to being the self inflicting hurtful version of you. This is the part of you that wants to hold onto him. This is what you want. What you want isn't the best bet right now because only when you are truly emotionally healthy will what you want be a good gauge for what you really need. What you "need" right now is to accept the blood shed for what it is, without compromise, without rationalization.

I wish you luck on your journey.

Lunaismydog · 2017-02-18T21:00:55+00:00

Why are you even worrying about this red pill stuff.

Work on being a better person.

If, as you say, you love this man then treat him as though you do. There isn't any magical answer and no one can tell you if it's "too late".

Be kind, be nice and treat each other respectfully. It's not rocket science.

Kurai_Sen · 2017-02-19T09:26:34+00:00

There's never a thing as too late.

If you've been on this sub, you can see so many women who've turned their relationships around, and they're likely worse than yours. As long as you've become aware of your shortcomings and strive to improve yourself, everything should be just fine

OwnedAndLoveIt · 2017-02-19T23:58:15+00:00

My man thinks there are no 'red pill women'. Only women who are led by red pill men. There is no one without the other.

If he hasn't swallowed it, he won't either expect it or recognize it. The question is, can YOU respect HIM for allowing you to get away with that bad behavior.

Title	Is it too late?
Author	frpilled
Upvotes	10
Comments	19
Date	February 18, 2017 8:40 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/5uuht9/is_it_too_late/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/is-it-too-late.86984 https://theredarchive.com/post/86984

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