Is surrendering reserved for marriage?

Jenneapolis · 2024-02-28T16:41:24+00:00

I think it totally depends on the topic and how far the relationship has progressed. I would submit to a boyfriend on a great many things, and I think he is going to look for me to do that in order to assess if I would be a good partner, but other topics like financials for me are an absolute no unless there is marriage.

I think incremental reciprocation works best here for determining how much and when to give.

comfy_bumble · 2024-02-28T15:51:35+00:00

I feel that it depends.

I'll skip the whole 'vetting' talk because I assume you've done that part, being in a serious relationship. I think it's pretty safe to surrender if you've built a stable foundation over time, trust each other deeply, and are certain that marriage is on the cards.

My partner is proposing this year, we run a household together, and he's gone above and beyond to provide for me and become a fantastic father figure for my daughter (without being asked to). I see it as my duty to surrender completely to him, because it's clear he's a good man with pure, dedicated intentions to me, to himself, and to our life together.

Completely surrendering in a relationship without having had the typical 'pre-marriage conversations' about responsibility, how a household would be run, intentions for children, career, etc etc etc AND demonstrating commitment to those values and goals is pretty dangerous, in my opinion.

fruitbatdiscofrog · 2024-02-28T22:15:33+00:00

I personally do, but we’ve had the engagement, marriage, and kids talk so we know what timeline and arrangement we want.

Mighty_Wombat42 · 2024-02-29T01:28:34+00:00

My answer for me would be a firm no. My answer for other women is maybe, it depends on the circumstances of your relationship and your desired outcome.

It’s a no for me because I don’t intend to live or have sex with a man prior to marriage. So my definition of serious relationship might require a lot less commitment than yours does. I think if you are having sex, living together, owning assets together, coparenting, or receiving financial support from a man, all of those things can affect what an appropriate level of submission looks like for you. Since I don’t intend to do any of those things, that means a man who is my serious boyfriend or even fiancé has not necessarily demonstrated a level of investment in the relationship or commitment to my wellbeing that would justify giving him veto power over any and every major decision I make. Likewise, I wouldn’t expect him to prioritize me over everything else in his life the way I would once we are married.

SelfEmployed2024 · 2024-03-03T18:45:10+00:00

Good question.

My two cents.... Don't surrender to a BF.... This is the time to evaluate if this dude possess the ability to lead and see where he would be leading you to. When engaged.... Confirm expectations with each other, around leadership and submission. Start demonstrating your ability to acquiesce to his program by following his lead and being submissive by complying with 1-2 of his demands (the least demanding)... When married, full submission.

Tara_Rizer · 2024-02-29T02:34:46+00:00

You're an adult, you can do whatever you want, but I would wait for marriage. I don't think boyfriends should get husband privileges.

dostolnat · 2024-02-29T17:54:29+00:00

Boyfriends do not have husband privileges

gcubed · 2024-02-28T18:02:47+00:00

Why wouldn't it? If his actions inspire trust and bring you peace enough for you to be yourself and follow your instincts, why would you create resistance? Is that as some sort of bargaining chip or something?

LiteratureOk7716 · 2024-03-05T04:13:17+00:00

It is a careful balance.

You need to hook him and keep him feeling as though you can be his perfect woman without actually being said woman unless/until you get what you want, whatever that may be.

AutoModerator · 2024-02-28T15:31:33+00:00

Title: Is surrendering reserved for marriage?

Author Spriteandfries

Full text: I’m in a serious relationship, I fully believe in surrendering to your husband and letting him lead, but does this apply to boyfriends as well when in a serious relationship that you see leading to marriage? Curious on different opinions on the topic!

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Title	Is surrendering reserved for marriage?
Author	Spriteandfries
Upvotes	7
Comments	16
Date	February 28, 2024 3:31 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1b28s5r/is_surrendering_reserved_for_marriage/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/is-surrendering-reserved-for-marriage.1246682 https://theredarchive.com/post/1246682

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