Lady-like language?

blondie_brownie · 2014-05-14T07:08:09+00:00

I try very, very hard not to curse ever. I think cursing, especially often, indicates a poor vocabulary and inability to articulate oneself. I laugh at dirty jokes, but only ever make them to my husband in private, and pretty rarely even then. My husband and I have a habit of saying "private bathroom time" when one of us needs to poop. I don't know where it came from, but we both really like keeping the mystery of that part of daily life. I also developed the habit of replacing "I need" with "Do you mind" or "Could you" when I need something. Most other vocabulary is pretty acceptable between us though.

[deleted] · 2014-05-14T03:04:16+00:00

Guy here. Swearing is cheating at expressing your thoughts/emotions, so I try to minimize it unless the situation specifically calls for it. Maybe occasionally for comic emphasis, but almost never when I'm trying to communicate something important.

For you ladies, there's an additional benefit to minimizing swearing: there's a reason "Lady in the streets, whore in the sheets" is a thing. One makes the other that much more of an exciting surprise.

puddlesofblood · 2014-05-14T04:25:15+00:00

My husband and I both swear like we're in a movie about the Mafia, but That's almost aristocratic when you come from Philly

sugarcrush · 2014-05-14T02:07:54+00:00

My parents beat "no swearing" into me as a child, so I hardly ever curse (in actual conversation I mean, it tends to come out more online). Maybe only a couple times a year? At least when I do, people know I'm serious!

Overall though, I think using proper grammar and manners is most important for feminine speech. Sounding educated and polite goes a long way. When I first started working where I do now, everyone was impressed that I use please, thank you, excuse me, etc. It only takes an extra second but makes such a good impression! What guy wants to bring home a girl that sounds like a rude redneck? Not any that you want to be around, that's for sure.

[deleted] · 2014-05-14T01:49:31+00:00

I love to say the f word....I try to keep my wild personality under wraps. Everyone once in awhile it just pours out.

[deleted] · 2014-05-14T05:14:17+00:00

C and I both swear pretty regularly, but both of us are fine with that. It always depends on the person you're with as to whether or not they care if you curse or refuse to curse. But it certainly isn't ladylike, so I try to minimize it in public.

Bakerofpie · 2014-05-14T05:01:42+00:00

I curse a lot at work because I work with a bunch of men and that's just how everyone talks. I don't care to be the "feminine balance" in my workplace. It isn't going to further my career, and I sure as hell don't need anyone at work to find me attractive. I curse less in front of my husband, but still a fair amount. I don't if I'm trying to communicate something really important or we're having a serious discussion because it can be lazy language that doesn't convey much information.

It's not that weird for your SO to appreciate the dirty joke or two. Hubs and I have a strange, terribly dark sense of humor and love to joke around with each other. We are best friends and lovers. I try to put on my best face for him at all times, but when we are laughing and joking together I'm not thinking about whether or not my jokes are ladylike enough.

Is your SO the type who will try to be nice and laugh at your jokes even if he is bothered by them? If not, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Be feminine in the areas where it matters more to him - be kind and sweet with your actions, cook for him, put out, blah blah blah. As long as you're doing that I wouldn't think he's going to stop seeing you as womanly because you tell dirty jokes, for his benefit, that he laughs at and appears to enjoy.

TempestTcup · 2014-05-14T16:37:26+00:00

In private, do what ever floats your boat; in public try to curb your filthy jokes and language (unless you are with a group of intimate friends). I've found that if I try to be less crass in public, I am better at curbing my language when it is really necessary like when talking to a boss or someone's grandmother.

Oh, just saw the "he doesn't at all". In this case I would make extra sure I don't cuss in public. Do what you want in private, but if he doesn't cuss he probably thinks it's inappropriate.

morganlane · 2014-05-14T01:53:09+00:00

It's something I need to work on - a lot. I swear liberally, and it's not attractive. I'm getting better slowly, but it's a process.

HappySnowGirl · 2014-05-14T02:21:08+00:00

I don't swear much because I just don't like the way the words feel in my mouth. I think it's really unnatural to me, in that it feels contrary to my feminine nature. However, I make up for this by saving f-bombs for true doozies. I feel like using it sparingly lets everyone know I really mean business when I let loose.

I talk like a truck stop whore in the bedroom, though. :)

MrsKittenHeel · 2014-05-14T03:09:03+00:00

I don't like cursing, and don't really like it when friends and family do it. That said I do have one friend (a girl) who when she swears its cute. But that is the exception not really the rule.

gabilromariz · 2014-05-14T10:43:25+00:00

After hearing a joke about souther ladies I've made an effort to change all cursing directed at someone with a sarcastic little "bless your heart". It sticks better after I found the "burn" is much worse than any cursing could

But I still talk like a sailor if I stub a toe

scallopkid · 2014-05-14T19:33:17+00:00

I don't swear very often. Usually when I do it's because I'm quoting something. I think a lot of ladylike language cones from the tone of your voice too. If you are being loud and brash and telling dirty jokes it might be seen as unfeminine, but if you tell the same jokes in a softer voice it might be more cute and endearing.

aaron_the_just · 2014-05-16T19:43:39+00:00

Foul language or overly sexual talk is not very "lady-like". Refusing to use it will let you retain some feminine mystique.

Title	Lady-like language?
Author	beginnerbuttocks
Upvotes	9
Comments	19
Date	May 14, 2014 1:26 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/25i1dg/ladylike_language/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/lady-like-language.84493 https://theredarchive.com/post/84493

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