Less affection from boyfriend

TheBunk_TB · 2023-05-25T11:19:43+00:00

He sounds busy and distracted.

Cosima_Fan_Tutte · 2023-05-25T13:49:40+00:00

Keep doing the RPW thing, but watch carefully for continuing signs of reciprocity, protectiveness and possessiveness (in this case, desire to keep you locked down as a girlfriend). You are in an exclusive boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, right?

It's harder in an LDR-- new relationship energy thrives on togetherness, not to mention it's tough to say what's up with his work stuff from afar. You guys have to see each other.

Jenneapolis · 2023-05-24T22:47:40+00:00

You are in the very early stages of a relationship so you are over analyzing everything, I get it and I think the first few months are so hard. I’ve been here and it is scary when the communication start changing but it’s natural. About 2-3 months in is when a lot of the excitement is going to start to go down and turn into something more stable. This often means more logistical type of communications and less of the over the top heavy flirtation. This is very often where we as women miss step and scare men off.

This stage of the relationship in combination with him being busy at work sounds like he is just literally more busy. This is the time when you need to tackle your insecurity. You know he’s going through a tough time with his job so show him how you can support him by not adding negativity to his life. If he feels like he’s getting attitude and you are making things more difficult, he may very well just say this is not worth it. Don’t play mind games with them trying to get him to be jealous or demonstrate his protectiveness over you. I see nothing wrong with his response, he offered a solution to what he saw as your problem, and you interpreted it in a negative way because of how you were already feeling. Breath, take a step back, apologize to him for snapping at him and figure out what you can do to help support him during a time when he needs it.

hangun_ · 2023-05-24T23:20:17+00:00

Try to focus less on yourself and put effort into seeing things from his perspective. What would make him feel better about his stressful situation? (definitely not you nagging him about your insecurities, so do not do that).

If you know his love language start there. Give him a foot rub, or make him a night-time breakfast when he wakes up at 5, make it fun and relaxed.

RedPillDad · 2023-05-25T12:24:39+00:00

Early on in a relationship, a guy will put extra effort because he's driven by testosterone. He'll treat you like you're the most awesome person in the world, lavishing you with attention. That drive wears off after a few weeks, longer if he's lacks options. He'll put in less effort, he'll take you for granted, he'll take the sex for granted. His primary conquest was sexual access and that part has been accomplished.

This is the typical progression of a relationship. "He changed" is how women will interpret it. What changed were his priorities. You're no longer at the top and that's okay. It doesn't mean he doesn't care about you.

What to do about it? Princess-types will crank up the entitlement and demand more attention from him. That doesn't sound like you. Succubus-types will just move on to another host. That doesn't sound like you. Those with Girl Game will rise up, knowing this is when they must shine brightest. That sounds like you, and you've come to the right place.

Girl Game comes down to proving you're relationship worthy, that life with you is far better than life without you, that you can't easily be replaced by another, that you're bringing plenty of positives to the table and few negatives.

The relationship is the prize and you must prove you're worthy. A lot of modern women hate this concept, they consider themselves the prize. "I am the table" is a prideful stance that will only work on weak men.

Here are some thoughts I shared on earlier posts...

So what do men want women to bring to the table? Basically, they want you to be fit, feminine, fun to be around, friendly, respectful, loyal, cooperative, coachable, a goddess in the kitchen as well as generous in the bedroom. If you bring that, men would be doing back flips to win your heart and hold onto you.

The coachable part isn't so much a submissive thing but more the capacity to FLOW into his life and make things better. A good man is the vessel, the framework, and a good woman is the water that flows into that vessel.

A woman's responsiveness is the drug I find irresistible. When she hangs off every word I say and laughs when I say something funny, it's so gratifying that I have her undivided attention. Her laugh is the most beautiful sound in my world. Still true after all these years.

Quick story... My wife and I went to a terrific restaurant for lunch on my B-day. A musician was there taking requests and he knew many of the classics from the 60's and 70's. We were having a great time when an older woman came to our table, looked me in the eyes and said, "You must be the luckiest man in the world!" She explained that it was the way my wife was treating me, she had never seen that level of devotion and happiness in a woman.

Maree70 · 2023-05-24T23:38:22+00:00

If this is happening this early on in the relationship where this is supposedly to be the “honeymoon “ stage that’s not good. He doesn’t seem very invested into the relationship. If there’s a change in communication then imo and experience from what I heard etc he’s not that interested. Move on don’t let him waste your time

AutoModerator · 2023-05-24T22:29:36+00:00

Title: Less affection from boyfriend

Full text: 20F with 25M, about 2 months into the relationship, all of our values align and he is really great, only issue is he lives in another city (2 hours from mine) but he makes great effort to come see me, he doesnt work a 9-5 but has online business so he doesnt really have to take a vacation to see me.

The problem is, about 1.5 weeks ago he has started replying to my messages slower, and sometimes I could write him for example 3 sentences with him replying with like two words. This is also when he has started having some issues with his business. Before this he has started to work during the night, so he wakes up at like 5pm...and we barely talk. So I do think the reason for his half-assed messaging is his business but I can't help but also feel like he is losing attraction but I feel like it's my insecurity speaking when I think that way and I'm honestly unsure.

What prompted me to write this post is that I was planning to visit him over the weekend, and could go (by bus) late at night (almost midnight) on friday which I have no problem, except that I remember I am at a risk since I'm a woman. I honestly doubt anything would happen to me but I think you understand why I have that thought. So I jokingly said to him, "do you think there will be creeps on that bus?" and he just said "idk if its a bother go on saturday", I got the feeling that it's whatever to him whether I'm safe or not... It's always him making an effort to come see me and he spends a lot of money on me when he comes, so I really wanted it to be me coming to his place. Feeling hurt by his words I just said "wow feeling rly talkative" and he just replied with a thanks. I know it was wrong to say this but combined with almost no talking threw me off, I acted impulsively and instantly regret it.

Honestly I don't really know what advice I'm asking for here, any advice is welcome. I keep myself busy since I'm studying so I try not to think about this but I still get so sad. I find myself reading our old messages on the verge of tears. I don't find him to be enthusiastic at all about me coming now.

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AutoModerator · 2024-07-12T08:25:50+00:00

Title: Less affection from boyfriend

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Title	Less affection from boyfriend
Author	ygfam
Upvotes	17
Comments	23
Date	May 24, 2023 10:29 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/13qzz18/less_affection_from_boyfriend/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/less-affection-from-boyfriend.1220235 https://theredarchive.com/post/1220235

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