Needing Tips for Getting Motivated

Aine_of_knockaine · 2015-03-14T05:27:46+00:00

As an adult we all have to do things we don't want. I don't want to cook all the time. Sometimes I just want to go get food, but when we have a budget to stick to and the money isn't there I do it. It's all about doing what needs to be done.

The nice thing about some of this is as you do it you're going to get positive feedback. That feedback is going to help motivate you. You shouldn't depend on it though.

It's also about making these things habits and routines. It's like brushing your teeth in the morning and at night. You end up doing it and it becomes something that you just do. It becomes second nature. You don't need that motivation any more.

aZombieKitten · 2015-03-14T06:57:14+00:00

What works best for me, I find, is to start small. Take it one step at a time. Don't try to make multiple massive changes at once, because you will probably burn out and will lose all motivation.

Exercise:

Work out at home if you feel unmotivated to go to the gym. There are lots of videos online dedicated to working out at home. I would personally recommend P90X. This is also great for a rainy day, which can be especially demotivating.
Start small. Don't do anything overly complicated, and don't push yourself too hard the first few times, because the soreness will be foreign and sometimes displeasing, which can cause you to no longer want to do it, even though the end goal is worth it. Building up is never a bad idea.

Overall appearance:

Visit a few of the beauty subs. There are quite a few options out there, such as /r/femalefashionadvice and /r/skincareaddiction that can help you go in the right direction. Just look around reddit.
Like with exercise, start small. Don't try to completely overhaul your skincare/hair care/etc. routine all at once. Start with one thing, get that going well, then move on to the next thing, that way you're getting proficient at what changes you're making before trying to make a new change.

Learning to cook:

There are cookbooks everywhere. And when I say everywhere, I do mean everywhere. The internet is full of recipes and books to get you started with cooking, from the basics to multi-course gourmet meals.
Don't be afraid to experiment in the kitchen. Try out a new recipe or new flavors that you haven't used before. Mix things up. Sometimes something awesome can come from the weirdest set of ingredients (just look at Chopped on Food Network). Find ingredients that you think may go together well and give it a whirl (once you've figured out the basics of cooking, that is).

Finances:

If possible, visit your bank and ask for help with financing. Chances are, someone can point you in the right direction with budgeting and any other financial issues you may have concerns about. Check and see if this can be done for free or if you would need to pay. Also, some banks have financing tools online, so that you can keep track of spending and income, so don't be afraid to use those resources.

Career:

I am actually unsure about this one, as there is no background about your career.

Personality:

Practice, practice, practice. Changing a personality can only be achieved by trying. You need to implement the changes that are necessary and work through making them a real part of you. A way to stop cursing so much, for example, would be to practice putting silly words (like fluff, dang, etc.) in place of curse words. Alternatively, practice simply removing bad behaviors before adding new positive ones.
Fake it 'til you make it. Honestly, sometimes you need to do this, like with smiling at people. Fake smile for a while until you start naturally, genuinely smiling at other people (this is how I learned to politely smile at people if I catch their eyes when walking by them on my campus). Start pretending like you have more confidence, and you will eventually develop that confidence for real. It's not too difficult to convince your brain that you aren't faking it if you do the fake thing often enough.

LittleRed99 · 2015-03-14T20:23:18+00:00

As others have said, start small. I'm actually going through the same thing myself and here's what's worked for me:

I paid a pro to shape my eyebrows I never knew how to groom or shape my eyebrows. I have always kept the strays in check, but they were never shaped and are a bit bushy. I went to a pro, told them I needed The Works and let them do their thing. the difference is amazing! I feel so much more groomed and feminine when I look in the mirror now! Now I have more motivation to work on my hair/makeup/skin because of how much of a difference that one change made, and because those fabulous brows demand a pretty face to go with them! :)

Changed my underwear I've always tended toward the cheap, comfy undies, but I've realized that underwear can be a pretty powerful tool. I feel so sexy and feminine when I have on a nice, lacy pair of panties and a lacy bra! It changes the way I walk, the way I talk, and the way I act. It's magic! It can be challenging to find pretty panties that don't give you an atomic wedgie, but if you can find comfy ones, they are simply divine! Try getting just one pair and really observe how you feel/act when you're wearing them.

Slow cooker to the rescue I've had THIS cookbook for a while, but didn't use it much. This week, I sat down for about 20 minutes, picked 3 of the slow cooker recipes, and made a shopping list of about 12 items from it. This will yield me about 18 servings of food for the week with minimal effort. My plan is to dish out individual portions, freeze them, and eat them for lunch and dinner all week long. I think using the slow cooker to get started is going to be really helpful. I don't have to worry about learning any new techniques or about burning it, but it will get me in the habit of cooking and it will improve my knife skills. Once I'm more comfortable, I'll move on to more complicated things. :)

Finances... um yeah... I'm struggling with this one myself. The only thing I can say is to cut out things you know you don't need or are detrimental to your other goals.
Prime candidates: *Soda *Beer *Partying *Fast food *Eating out (except with friends - that's investment in relationships)

Try to think of your spending in terms of investment. For example, I recently bought a retinol cream. It was about $20, and my brow shaping was $24. I used to feel bad spending money on things like this, but now I'm trying to frame them as investments in my future self. When you're about to spend money, think "What am I investing in right now?". If you don't have an answer, or if you know that you're actually doing the opposite - maybe you don't need it. I'm sure there are exceptions, but this is the rule of thumb I'm using.

Gym.... Struggling with this one too. I really like lifting. It helped me lose 30lbs once and I feel great when I'm doing it. Problem is that gyms here are expensive and my apartment gym doesn't have barbells.
Only advice I have here is to try a bunch of things and see what you like. Catch is, don't try them once or twice, try them for a month. I hated lifting the first couple times I went. I could barely bench the bar and I hurt SO bad a couple days after. I felt weak and miserable. If I had quit then, I doubt I would have lost that weight, and I wouldn't have discovered that I actually like lifting. It takes a while for your body to adjust. Don't give up too easily. :)

Pink_acetaminophen · 2015-03-14T05:37:53+00:00

Everything worth doing is hard and everything you can be proud of comes from work you did. Start with smaller goals so you can see results faster because you're probably having issues with focusing on longer term goals. If you need to lose 15 pounds go for 5 first, if you need to cook more often make breakfast everyday first. Edit: also You're 31 not 13 hurry up and improve yourself so you could be happier with yourself. Everyday is a great opportunity for you to be happy and proud of taking care of yourself. Healthy food, exercise and a makeover feel great so start enjoying your life more and you'll attract men with the joy You have surplus of instead of the insecurities you're trying to fill.

ColdEiric · 2015-03-17T11:07:52+00:00

OP, what happens if you leave things undone?

What happens to you, if you do not exercise, do not eat healthy, do not get enough sleep, do not work on your appearance, do not pay your bills, do not spend time with friends and family, do not pray(if you pray), do not mind your manners, and so on? How will you and your life look, if you say 'Whatever' to everything, as if you were a teenager? If you'd consider everything to be pointless and arbitrary?

Considering your standards, do you have an option to not do it? That's how my own motivation sounds. I can't let myself leave important stuff undone. For instance, not brushing my teeth is not an option, because any other choice would be absurd to me. Thinking like that in every other question calms me, because I eventually know what I must do. Eventually I understand what needs to be done, thus the choice is made, and I get to work. During the work I seek and find my flow. The French say that "appetite comes from eating."

Does anyone have any suggestions for getting myself up and motivated?

Is there another option, OP? Can you keep your teeth clean by any way, other that brushing them? Is this motivation for you? Pat yourselves on your back for any and every minor victory you do. Collect 'small wins'. "Today I didn't oversleep. I didn't snooze for an hour. I am winning!" "I went to the gym. I might have done poorly, but I didn't stay at home watching Tv. That's well done of me." And so on.

If it helps, everyone else is in the same situation as you are.

PsychoticMouse · 2015-03-14T16:26:59+00:00

You need to be your own motivation! The pretty years are short and you need to be able to offer a partner much more than your looks. If YOU want something, you need to do it. You need to kick your own self in the butt and get moving.

Tips for learning how to cook:

Buy fresh ingredients weekly.
Google recipes/raid your family recipe book.
Practice.

Tips for getting in shape:

Put on running shoes
Hit the pavement

Hair tips:

Grow it out
Buy some hair accessories

Be sure to start up a hobby or two, join a club, or participate in a sport. When it comes to purchases be sure to ask yourself "is this a WANT or a NEED?" Live within your means, create a budget sheet, work on a chore calendar, make a schedule. Do whatever needs to be done first and then relax with a cup of tea or what-have-you.

alexinikita · 2015-03-16T02:54:17+00:00

personally the career doesn't matter. A job shows me you don't sit around the house all day and you cab afford to take me out every once in a while. The best motivation I could give you is to remind you that you have an expiration date. I've met so many women who were past 30 that I can't waste my time on. ( I know it's not RP to want a family but I do)

What I can tell you is this, I'm going to be looking for someone who works out, takes care of themselves mentally as well, and knows how to handle money. Hobbies are a must for you since I don't want to spend all my time with you, because I have my own stuff to do too. Best books I can tell you about are think and grow rich by Napoleon hill and the way of the superior man by David Deida Just to give you context, I'm 30, make over 75 a year, and if I'm not attracted to you, you pretty much won't exist in my world. what I do is create a list. This list has my 6 month goals, 1 year goals, 2 year goals, and 5 year goals. Then I post it to my bedroom so I walk by it and see it multiple times a day consciously and unconsciously.

For you any goals under 6 months are priority. Easy goal would be join a gym or start doing body weight fitness. Another goal could be cooking a meal from scratch by yourself. Find an easy recipe and have fun.

For career and finance help talk to older people for advice. For confidence and personality see a shrink. Hope that helps

itsnadya101 · 2015-04-17T01:55:19+00:00

Have a journal and write down your daily goals :) Post stickies everywhere motivating yourself.

-Ignote- · 2015-03-14T12:02:47+00:00

Don't look for motivation. You don't need motivation, you already have it: you want to be more attractive. What you need, is discipline. There are no tricks or shortcuts, just do it. Force yourself, especially if you don't like it.

eatplaycrush · 2015-03-14T08:43:18+00:00

This kind of motivation needs to come from within. You need to want to change, to get things done. Any other kind of motivation is just putting a band-aid on, a temporary solution that won't help you out in the long-term.

Just ask yourself: Am I willing to work hard for this? The days that really separate you from the rest of the general population are the days when you don't want to do what you need to do, but you carry on anyway.

Title	Needing Tips for Getting Motivated
Author	LittleKick
Upvotes	9
Comments	12
Date	March 14, 2015 3:37 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/2yzi9p/needing_tips_for_getting_motivated/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/needing-tips-for-getting-motivated.85246 https://theredarchive.com/post/85246

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