Paying on dates

Wife_and_Mama · 2023-04-15T14:13:09+00:00

I never paid with my husband. I always gave men the chance to pay, but was ready and willing to pay for myself. I liked the idea of the man paying. I felt like it reflected traditional values and acknowledged our different financial situations. I was working two jobs and wearing secondhand clothes, while they always made decent money. I always pushed for coffee for a first date and chose something cheap if we ate. My husband paid the entire time we were dating. I would make him dinner and treats to take home. I'd plan free dates, like the time I gave blood for zoo tickets, only to pass out on our date. Good times.

If you're open to trading back and forth, or want to treat him, just say so. When the waiter asks if it's one check or two, smile and tell him one, turn to your date and say "My treat." Don't make it awkward and it won't be awkward. If you don't want to pay, because you feel the man should, make sure you're choosing cheap options that you can always cover, if needed. When the waiter asks, let him answer and be polite regardless. In the South, it's still generally accepted that he'll pay. Your mileage may vary and you may need to decide if that's a perk or a requirement.

asslite · 2023-04-15T14:00:46+00:00

I've learned to not start paying for dates or helping contribute until we are officially together. I think it's really important for men to chase women, especially since, in general, they do make more money than us. I used to not be this way where I'd offer every other date, but men who don't want to treat you is a red flag honestly. Every guy I've dated where they insisted on me paying half always led to bad relationships for me.

My current fiance: knows I can help pay, but likes to treat me anyways. He almost lets me never pay.

chickenreader · 2023-04-15T05:56:45+00:00

Are you trying to pay for something coz you want to and it makes you happy or you feel bad for receiving things? I ask this because you feel awkward about it. Usually people are happy to offer something and not feel awkward if its something they really want to do and not something out of obligation. If it’s the first one I suggest you just offer it after dinner you can say you wanna grab desert/drinks at ___ and pay for it.

mrs_sadie_adler · 2023-04-17T17:28:11+00:00

Put your big girl pants on and ask for the check.

Diamond-Breath · 2023-04-15T04:54:41+00:00

I never pay, I get my boyfriend little gifts on occasions and I shower him with affection and intimacy to let him know that I appreciate everything he does for me. That's pretty much what most men require.

AgitatedHold6 · 2023-04-15T03:39:52+00:00

The rule is supposed to be that the person who asks pays. So if he asked you out, he pays.

However, now it seems courtesy to offer to pay your half "thank you so much for such a lovely dinner, would you like me to get my half?" 9/10 he will decline. And then yes, offer to get the drinks next time you go out, and to reference the dinner.

Underground-anzac-99 · 2023-04-15T04:29:22+00:00

I just went on a date a few nights ago, he asked me out but I suggested the venue then we stayed three hours longer than planned and ordered a tonne of things so I offered to pay half and he accepted. I was fine w this but if we had just stuck to the one cocktail as planned I’d have expected him to pay.

Khabeni412 · 2023-04-15T13:20:08+00:00

Women are cheap. For me it's a red flag if a woman doesn't at least offer to pay. I went on a date once where she brought two of her girlfriends and expected me to pay for ALL of them. After we ate I went to the bar l, paid for mine, and left them there. If she's not willing to meet you half way on a date, she's just going to take advantage of you in a relationship.

AutoModerator · 2023-04-15T03:30:15+00:00

Title: Paying on dates

Full text: I never know how to go about this. The the first date, I never pay I just smile and say thank you for the ____. Second date same thing. But like I never know how to start picking up the small things like drinks after dinner. I don’t know its always so awkward. Like I had a first date with this guy and he probably dropped $500 that night. I was thinking I should definitely get the drinks the next time we hang out but its always so awkward to go about this. Advice?

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Sudden8308 · 2023-04-24T21:25:24+00:00

Let him pay for things. He wants to provide for you. It makes him feel like a man. Do other nice things for him to help him feel appreciated and not taken advantage of. He doesn't want your money, he wants your respect and affection.

Title	Paying on dates
Author	IllustriousLemon0532
Upvotes	1
Comments	17
Date	April 15, 2023 3:30 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/12moeye/paying_on_dates/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/paying-on-dates.1214406 https://theredarchive.com/post/1214406

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