Seeing a guy for 3 months without commitment. Should I break up with him?

ladida1321 · 2023-05-19T21:43:08+00:00

Your attitude is really a big issue. You see no value in yourself… that’s going to effect literally everything about your life. Confidence is an amazingly attractive quality and people literally radiate to it (confidence NOT cockiness).

Take some time to love yourself. There are obviously qualities you poses that add value. Are you funny? Clever? Smart? You just be interesting in some way or this “alpha” wouldn’t be spending time with you at all.

Work on yourself. You’re fat and ugly? Eat better, work out, start taking care of your skin, drink lots of water, be active, learn how to apply make up and revamp your wardrobe.

The terms “alpha” and “beta” can be very subjective. So I have literally no idea what you’re taking about there and also your bleak- gonna get fatter and divorced anyway ? What? Can you also elaborate on the need to get married in 2 years?

This post comes off super negative. Being so negative about yourself and your future is going to be a self fulfilling prophecy. No one wants to be around the grouchy girl who complains about how she looks and how horrible her life is all the time.

There are plenty of average, fat or even ugly women who marry amazing men and have happy successful marriages. So he’s not gonna be the hottest dude in the world with a 6 pack and a 300k a year salary, SO WHAT? The love, protection, loyalty and respect a good man gives you is worth more than superficial qualities you seem to be dwelling on.

Happiness doesn’t just fall in your lap one day while you’re doing jackshit. You need to actually create it and nurture It. You hold a great deal more power and agency over your future than you’re giving yourself credit for- being 25, you LITERALLY have 10 years of “youth” left to find a husband in the traditional sense.

CountTheBees · 2023-05-20T02:31:03+00:00

Yeah, you should break up with him.

I don't think you only have two years left - I think that's perfectionism "if I can't have it my way I don't want it at all" talking. If you've been ugly and fat your whole life then this is going to be your second spring - you probably won't see a decline in male attention but rather see an uptick. After the wall the level of interest women see from men goes down but yours will go up because you lost weight and glowed up. The wall is relative. Sure it's less attention than you would have gotten if you were pretty and young but your mammal brain won't know that and you won't see it as this big bad thing at all.

I also don't agree with your categorisation of "some beta". There are plenty of men out there that would be considered betas but make a woman very happy. I think that's your perfectionism talking again. You've gotten stuck in a mindset where you must have the best alpha man and be the best feminine woman in order to achieve happiness, and it must happen at the best age but reality is that imperfect people in imperfect situations find happiness all the time. Make an effort. Stop procrastinating. Stop wasting your time and affection in no-hope situationships. Actually start working towards what you want, because at the moment you're letting perfectionism stop you and it's making you go away from your goal rather than toward it.

diaryofalostgirl · 2023-05-20T00:37:34+00:00

And it's hard to accept that most other guys are going to be lower quality. It's hard to accept that I'm ugly and fat and masculine and that it's going to take time and effort years of time and effort to correct these things and I have less than two years to find the right guy.

Here's your problem. You're pissed that your SMV isn't what it would have to be to attract the men that get you going. Accept that first. Be angry about it. Go through your own little rage phase. Someone let you think that sleeping around and getting fat was fine, there was always going to be the right man somewhere. And that person turned out to be setting you up to be plated by alphas with a kink for fat girls. If I sound inflammatory? I'm trying to get you to feel more than "oh well, too bad, so sad" and anger gets results.

The anger you feel once you realize the truth is going to motivate you to do two things: glow the fuck up AND learn to love yourself in the meantime. Because it's true. No man will love someone who doesn't love themselves; these women tend to reek of desperation and that's not a turn-on.

What you can cut yourself some slack on is the Godforsaken Wall. The Wall just means that your life beyond it looks different. That's all. Your values will have to adjust. Mine didn't -- I was always suspicious of guys with too high an SMV -- but it definitely sounds like yours will. Why not start now? Try looking at men with love goggles on. The quirk you thought was a total turnoff might be something you can ignore if his character is what you need it to be.

You don't want a total alpha like you're sleeping with now. That way lies misery. But you don't need to resign yourself to total betas, either. Those men are usually miserable to be around anyway. What women should look for is a mix of traits, the mix that keeps us excited, and you can't tell all that just by looking at him. It's a combination of SMV and RMV. So don't just focus on improving one, a la Vindicta. Focus on both. RPW has plenty of resources for that.

I wish you luck.

Pinktoes10 · 2023-05-19T22:45:01+00:00

Is this a troll post or what because… ?

QtPieGrahamsCrust · 2023-05-19T23:25:50+00:00

Yikes. I wouldn't date you if you talk like this IRL.

buttermiIk · 2023-05-19T23:55:13+00:00

Bruh what do you type like that

Maree70 · 2023-05-19T22:14:39+00:00

Don’t let him waste your time, if you’re not happy it’s best to move on. If you think he will not commit. You only hurting yourself and if he decides he doesn’t wanna commit he could easily move on to someone else and be done with you, So you be done with him. He wouldn’t risk losing you to another guy. If he wanted to commit.

AutoModerator · 2023-05-19T21:16:07+00:00

Title: Seeing a guy for 3 months without commitment. Should I break up with him?

Full text: I've been seeing a guy for 3 months with no commitment, and probably none in sight. I won't get into why that is but let's say I imagine a lot of it is my fault. I am not a woman worth committing to. That said, he is an alpha male and probably the best I can land so I kind of want to keep seeing him. I am 25 and I know I need to stop sleeping with him and start genuinely dating to find a husband but I genuinely have no value to bring and what's the point if it's just gonna be some beta who I'm gonna get even fatter around and divorce anyway?

I know I need to break up with him I just don't want to. And it's hard to accept that most other guys are going to be lower quality. It's hard to accept that I'm ugly and fat and masculine and that it's going to take time and effort years of time and effort to correct these things and I have less than two years to find the right guy.

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I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

elina116 · 2023-05-20T10:20:45+00:00

I think you gave away too much to this person and probably won't be seeing any commitment from them. If you consider him to be a high value man, you also need to be a high value woman, and the first step is changing your mindset (don't have scarcity mindset, or else you will give off desperate energy to him). Check out the subreddit 'female dating strategy' and it tells you how to be a high value woman.

Title	Seeing a guy for 3 months without commitment. Should I break up with him?
Author	brushshstrokes
Upvotes	2
Comments	18
Date	May 19, 2023 9:16 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/13m80da/seeing_a_guy_for_3_months_without_commitment/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/seeing-a-guy-for-3-months-without-commitment.1219774 https://theredarchive.com/post/1219774

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