Self-Improvement Needed… in multiple areas

anothergoodbook · 2021-11-16T15:22:58+00:00

I’ve got 4 kids.

Here are some of my recommendations:

Prioritize a morning routine. Wake up at the same time (preferably 15-30 minutes before baby wake up). Whatever that routine is - stick to it. That may be a shower and getting dressed. Or coffee and breakfast. Or a short walk outside. Whatever it is just establish that routine.

1a. Establish a routine with baby. If your milk is in and established you can get baby on a feeding routine so you don’t feel like you’re nursing all day. Naps and feedings can be scheduled so you can plan the rest of your day.

Get dressed in real clothes everyday. Get out of pjs. Wear something comfortable and accessible to baby (and pumping) but wear real clothes. If you have to buy something new - go for it. You can use ThredUP for some less expensive things to accommodate the body changes (that might be temporary). A wrap dress and leggings might just be perfect for this. Still really comfy but you looked “dressed up”. And wrap dresses are great for your self esteem.
Along with wearing real clothes, do your hair. Nothing elaborate even just brushing it and putting a hair clip to keep it back. Just something that makes you feel human again.
Take naps as needed. You don’t have to “schedule sex” as a couple - but you can make the preparations for it earlier in the day. If you know you’ll be having sex then take a nap in the afternoon. Send sexy texts so he knows what’s coming later. But there also needs to be flexibility. Yes sex changes after babies at least for a while. Figure out what you need to to transition into sexy time from taking care of baby time. Maybe that’s a walk after baby is asleep or taking a bath or whatever. Just take the time to do that.

4b. Set an alarm for 15-30 min before hubby gets home. You can use that time to throw on some lipstick, take a look at your hair, and pick up the main living area. Baby can hang out on your hip (baby wearing) or in a little bouncy seat for a few minutes.

Baby can cry for a few minutes. This is what I learned with baby number 3. It’s not the worst thing of she has to cry for a minute while I’m doing something with the other kids or just busy. I make sure she could hear me and I would reassure her that I would be right there. But putting baby in a little bouncy seat while you put music on and do the dishes is totally okay. She might get upset but you can sing and make funny faces and she’ll (sorry assuming baby is a she lol) realize everything is okay and my mommy is a little crazy.
Meals… I don’t know how old your baby is at the moment. If she’s still little then I would say use lots of precooked elements in your meals. A rotisserie chicken for dinner one night then cut it up and put it in a soup for dinner the next night. If baby is a little older and you want to do more cooking and less pre packaged stuff. Then start in the morning. For example, brown your ground beef while making your eggs. Brown enough for 2-3 meals. So maybe it’s tacos tonight and a lasagna the next night. And when you make the lasagna, make two and stick one in the freezer. A great podcast for productivity is the Lazy Genius. She has lots of good ideas for streamlining dinner time. Like she sets out the water for spaghetti in the morning. Babies are notoriously difficult at dinner time (that lovely witching hour). So prepping anything you can will make your life much easier.
Babywear while cleaning. I did this most often. It made picking up the living room much easier if baby was fussing.
As weird as this sounds multiple children are easier. Your anxieties are much less and you have already figured out all the baby stuff so you’re a pro when baby number two gets here.
Focus on good healthy calories to keep your supply up. Feeding baby is the most important thing your body is doing right now. If you need the calories then well don’t focus on lowering your calories. Perhaps focus on what you’re eating and getting so exercise in instead.

PhaedrusHunt · 2021-11-16T17:46:13+00:00

Re weight loss and milk production. If you juice greens, you will make so much milk you won't know what to do with it.

AccomplishedJicama66 · 2021-11-16T14:50:01+00:00

Also, with regards to looking frumpy.. not super confident in my new body, also difficult to look presentable while breastfeeding… breasts are huge and uncomfortable so I just shlump Around in way too big clothing and sweats 😭

emmalai85 · 2021-11-16T23:56:46+00:00

I found it was hard with 1 kid, but once I had a few, it actually got easier, more chaos, more mess, but more hands and help and the older they get, the easier it is in some ways.

I bring my husband his coffee in bed everymorning before the kids get up - I make time during that period to be intimate with him, I sleep naked in bed if he wants intimacy in the middle of the night. I give him a lot of... oral attention, which I enjoy.

I ask for his help with housework, if I need it, since I have a larger household (9 of us) I delegate responsibilities according to ability, age, and messiness. When it was just me and the oldest kid, it was rougher, I didn't have the skills and management tools that I did now, I had to learn, I had to learn to accept sometimes it's okay and it can wait until tomorrow, the baby and your husband's needs come first... your need for sleep and food,and a shower, come first.

Hiring help, letting friends or family come in and help. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Pay for it if you need it.

Cut your self some slack. Go for walks while baby wearing, ask your husband to go with you, hold his hand. talk. be emotionally connected. get a couples journal, write answers to the silly questions in there and talk about the anwers and memories together. put the baby down and take a shower, and spend 30 minutes just being close. If you breastfeed, ask him to hold you both while you nurse so he can feel like he's emotionally contributing.

Ask him to do the dishes and help you. If you struggle to lose some of the weight while breastfeeding, cut yousrelf some slack, it took 9 months to put it on, and it reasonably will take 6-12 months to get it off. while some women can do it pretty quick, the activity level and food requirements, and water requirements and being under a baby constantly, can slow it down sometimes. Be kind to yourself. Appreciate your husband, let him know you do. This stage is temporary.

Latter_Ad_6840 · 2021-11-16T17:58:40+00:00

For 3, I've been gradually improving my appearance with amazon prime lol, you don't have to leave the house at all and can have things shipped to you. Recently I got these cute hair claw clips that I can just throw on and it makes me look classier in 3 seconds.

summerisntmyfriend · 2021-11-19T13:12:41+00:00

Baby carriers are great, you can cook and clean while carrying a baby.

Establishing very strict "me time" routine, when you are all about giving it's very important to have even 15-30 minutes a day for self care (for me skincare routine, doing my hair (nothing elaborate) and very very light make up did the trick).

Lack of sleep and hydration effects my looks a lot so I was trying to always squeeze in naps as much as I could and drink a lot, especially when nursing.

As for the weight, light exercises like jogging/power walking and gymnastics at home might help along with eating healthier foods.

Going outside with the baby is also very important, it forces you to get out of PJs and fresh air and being active makes you feel better.

Title	Self-Improvement Needed… in multiple areas
Author	AccomplishedJicama66
Upvotes	29
Comments	20
Date	November 16, 2021 2:48 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/qv9ert/selfimprovement_needed_in_multiple_areas/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/self-improvement-needed-in-multiple-areas.1083802 https://theredarchive.com/post/1083802

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