Shit testing vs. being sweet and receptive?

Zegiknie · 2018-11-18T18:42:47+00:00

I'm a wuss, everybody always enjoyed my tests (bar a few extremely touchy ones).

I think it would help if you described some examples of yours (with dialogue and all)?

But most importantly: Shittesting isn't vetting. Vetting is smart, testing is instinctive and executed in a way that may or may not be effective, depending on a gazillion factors. Vetting is observing, preferably in trying circumstances. Shittesting is being the trying circumstance. I think you can see how that could be a problem sometimes?

Two_kids_in_a_coat · 2018-11-19T00:51:02+00:00

I think you should focus on RPW and stay away from TRP.

“Shit testing” is not the same as vetting.

merel-- · 2018-11-18T23:25:43+00:00

You know what is the best way to get to know people? Just keeping your mouth shut, your ears open and seeing if their words match their actions.

Get practice in dating or just talking to strangers on the train or whatever, getting to know someone while not asking them a million questions (or being a judgemental bitch) is a really good skill to have!

moonchildcountrygirl · 2018-11-18T18:43:47+00:00

I think it’s possible you’re overthinking strategy a bit. Part of being receptive is surrendering control, which granted, is scary and puts you in a vulnerable position which men are wired to respond to. I’m certainly not saying don’t vet or have standards... But being that you’re inexperienced (which isn’t a bad thing per say) it can be nerve racking to start talking to guys and put yourself out there. Have you tried online dating? OkCupid Match and Bumble / some of the ones more geared to relationships rather than hookups could be a good resource. Gentlemanly dominant masculine guys are out there, it takes a little patience but you’ve done the groundwork to attract one and manifest love in your life, believe it will come

rookebay · 2018-11-18T21:49:11+00:00

I think negative shittesting (that you should avoid) is blatantly assuming the worst in a man and challenging them to prove you wrong. Ex: “I bet you say that to all the girls” There are countless examples, but the main undercurrent of a shit test is: “if you really love me/are interested in me, you will do x or answer x.” In these cases, shit tests are manipulative, controlling, and very hard to navigate.

Now, shittesting is an inevitable part of human interaction. We judge people and trust them based off of their character. And we do need to do that. I think vetting is technically “shittesting” but the undercurrent is more, “If I am around you, I am enjoying your company. I am still observing your actions in response to naturally occurring challenges. I want to understand your character and captain-abilities.” Vetting has no preconceived negative assumptions. It seeks truth, but not at the expense of a man’s dignity.

Maybe an example of a negative shit-test from a man would be “I bet you had a lot of ‘fun’ in college, didn’t you?” Regardless of whether you did or didn’t, this question is basically outright asking if you are a slut. It would be a hard question to respond to “correctly”. And in my opinion, if a guy ever asked this I would ignore them and run. (Very different from men’s approach for sleeping with women who shit-test like this: they agree and amplify).

blizzyb · 2018-11-18T21:29:06+00:00

Real talk. The dating and relationship world especially in a western society is completely fucked. There are very few men or women out there that are good relationship and marriage material.

Many men have become feminized, fat, and lazy. Many women have become fat, lazy, overgrown children. The effective dating pool has shrunk to the size of a blow up kiddie pool.

Good men are wising up and shifting over to MGTOW. They would rather just avoid relationships altogether because the juice isn't worth the squeeze.

Your little shit tests are working exactly the opposite of which you think. You shit test a good man and you effectively fail his "shit test" that you openly volunteered to take. It's an easy way for any decent man to just nope the fuck out and not waste his time because YOU are not worth it. That's just reality. What do you bring to the table for a good man to put up with your shit tests, that you admit, cannot control?

I almost cannot help it but to shittest them somehow. It’s like an impulse. The most obvious way I shittest is by teasing them in something small (which was my blue pill’s self go-to way of “flirting”). This has almost never worked.

Insanity is repeating the same behaviors and expecting a different result.

I understand that men do not like to be shittested (criticized, questioned, and so on). But if I don’t shittest, how will I know how strong they are? Is there a middle ground? Am I missing something obvious? If I make it easy for them, lay down my “bitch shield” and just be my sweet, alluring, feminine self from the beginning, it will attract a lot of men. If I don’t shittest any of them, how can I pick the best one? I am most afraid of ending up with a feminized or weak man.

Holy shit, actually read the words that you have written. How do you know how strong a man is if you don't shit test them? By the way he lives his life and treats other people. How he interacts with you when you are socializing. Is this a hard concept to grasp? Can you not tell a feminized man while you are in a conversation with one? How they dress and carry themselves? If you have no ability to pick up on these cues, there's no amount of shit tests you can throw out there that will be a "better" indicator.

You are not sweet, feminine or alluring. You are a predator that is altering their behavior to try to get what you want. Nothing about that is feminine or alluring. You are delusional and your behavior is appalling.

Aren't you exactly the counterpart of the men you are trying to avoid? Let's flip the script for a second. How would you feel if good quality men purposefully acted like feminized wussies to test you whether you are a bitch or not? Doesn't make any sense. Let's say you "pass" this shit test and the guy was just playing a game to test you and now shows that he is strong and dominant. Does the charade that he just pulled not immediately negate any positive qualities he may actually have? Why would you waste your time with a liar and deceiver?

You are the liar and deceiver and unfortunately, you don't realize that you are only hurting and deceiving yourself.

The real indicators of the quality of a man are how he lives his life, treats others, and handles trying situations. If you are the "trying situation" you will only build resentment with a good man and eventually you are the problem and are dumped to the curb. You need to work on yourself and learn that a good man treats others with respect, fairness, kindness. You need to become marriage material in order to attract a good man that is marriage material. If you cannot control your behavior and the words that come out of your mouth, then YOU are the one who is weak and not worthy of a good man.

Throw away the bitch shield. Realize that you will never end up with the "best one." Besides, what makes you so special that you deserve the best man? Of the billions of men on the planet, you want the best one. Typical female logic. Instead of "settling" for a great man and living an amazing life, you would rather waste your life, alone, old, bitchy and still feeling like you deserve the "best" one.

Your entire post shows that you are far from a catch (as it is) and the most important thing is for you to humble yourself and realize that there are plenty of good quality men out there. In order for you to find a good man to marry, you need to be a woman that a good man would want to marry and invest his life into.

This is not meant to be a personal attack. I understand the tone of my reply may seem harsh, but it would be a disservice to you to coddle you like a baby and tell you that it's not you, it's them. No.

It's YOU.

OilyB · 2018-11-18T22:59:05+00:00

Shittesting is showing your 'negative thinking' side. A woman who capable of thinking negatively is not attractive. Shittesting is also being critical and wanting something good. Men are looking for a woman they can withstand bad weather with - a woman who'll be strong alongside us against bad times. We don't mind a partner capable of critical thinking with us, against the environment. We do mind a partner who leans toward thinking negatively during trying times. Because she shows she has poor emotion management and problem solving skills in a team environment. An agreeable woman can still be a strong woman. Depends on whose side she's loyal to.

pearlsandstilettos · 2018-11-20T23:50:10+00:00

If I don’t shittest any of them, how can I pick the best one?

This is the core of what you're asking, so it's what I'll respond to primarily: You'll find that there are plenty of ways to vet a man without overt testing of the type you describe.

Good luck finding what you're looking for.

Edit: I thought this was on the sidebar, but I was mistaken. I wrote this under a different account a couple of years ago, and it'll give you an idea about how vetting can work using a green flag/red flag model without extensive testing of the type you're describing: https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/4r7s7r/a_red_pill_framework_for_rpw_vetting_men/

Alltenarepigs · 2018-11-21T09:41:52+00:00

You lay down your "bitch shield" but you shit test them, don't you see a contradiction? What do you mean by being nice and sweet? Asking them lots of questions and testing their patience really is what you call being nice?

michelladaplease · 2018-11-21T19:34:09+00:00

A lot of times you don’t even need to shit test. You see enough to catch a hint and just observe from there on out. Sometimes even a direct question with a flirty tone is received better than a shit test. I’m not sure exactly what you are doing, but there are some things you need to know and are entitled to know.

Most of the men I date are in their late 20’s. Most aren’t adverse to answering personal questions as long as you don’t probe. I have to use my intuition a lot, but I am pretty good at discerning when someone is being genuine or not. It also depends on me screening myself. There are tonnnnsss of things I would ask them for validation alone. There are so many insecurities I would like to indulge. But I don’t. I ask for information, and I make it easy for them to answer. If they are vague, I don’t push— I assume they don’t want to say more. Never start an argument if you have nothing to fight for. Never make things difficult unless you are giving him some harmless room to chase. Think of your end game. Shit tests are only a temporary win— if even that.

Title	Shit testing vs. being sweet and receptive?
Author	pinkpillgirl
Upvotes	17
Comments	36
Date	November 18, 2018 5:05 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/9y7m0l/shit_testing_vs_being_sweet_and_receptive/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/shit-testing-vs-being-sweet-and-receptive.67855 https://theredarchive.com/post/67855

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