Single dad & 15-year age gap....thoughts?

SecretFeminine · 2021-11-07T14:03:34+00:00

Real talk...if someone is already caring for children and parents, very unlikely they will have emotional bandwidth to add you into the mix. I would say you can count on playing 3rd fiddle, at best. It wouldn't work for me.

SuperWriter07 · 2021-11-07T15:57:01+00:00

The sub isn't against age gaps tbh. I'm dating a 9 year older guy and I've received plenty of support from the sub.

However, the single parent thing is very tricky. I'm assuming you are relatively young (20s most likely). Why would you want to get tied down with the hassle of a stepchild when you can have a husband with whom you have your own kids?

The living with parents thing is also a bit suspicious considering how he's a grownass man but I can still discount that since single parenting must be hard.

In case you still decide to go forward with it, I'd encourage you to really think this through with all the possibilities. The stepkid could dislike you. The guy could be trying to push his parenting work on you. Will he want to have kids with you? Will you be able to treat your children and the stepkid fairly (it's unfair to enter the situation if you do not like the stepkid)?

When you date/marry a man with a child, you always need to remember that the kid will likely be his priority. The 'honeymoon' period of your relationship will also be a bit diluted because a kid will constantly be in the mix. You also need to be prepared that all the man's resources and efforts will be divided between your kids and the stepkid.

I know you are probably asking advice only about dating but I'd recommend you to give the possibility of marriage a full thought too. Dating is all fun and games until the question of marriage comes up and then you realize the responsibilities and problems associated with being a stepparent.

For me? I'd avoid single parents. Too much extra hassles and responsibilities when I could get a man just as nice who is not a single parent.

princessandpearls · 2021-11-07T16:02:57+00:00

Generally I think it’s smart to go for an older man, but 15 years is quite the age gap. I also think it depends on your ages, where you’re at in life, how dating has been going for you, etc.

Adding on that he has a kid(s?) and lives with his parents, I think that is something I would likely try to avoid. You’ll get the short end of the stick when it comes to the time and energy he has to devote to you, and it may be challenging to “break in” to a tight family unit like that. I’d also be curious how long he has been widowed for, because if it is relatively fresh he may not actually be ready for a LTR if that’s what you desire.

Of course I don’t know all the details of his story or yours and I do feel empathy for him, but that is just my initial thought.

Roxitten · 2021-11-08T03:48:36+00:00

Age gaps are fine as long as you're old/mature enough. But if you're younger imo anything more than 10 years is pushing it.

It sounds like maybe, you'd just be supplanted into his life rather than creating a relationship and life together.

I don't think this is overreaching because it sounds like he has a lot going on.

hoopjoness · 2021-11-08T07:01:08+00:00

Of course it’s ok, he shouldn’t be punished and single forever because his ex wife died. He sounds very compassionate and someone like you could be just what’s needed to support him emotionally for a change :)

Title	Single dad & 15-year age gap....thoughts?
Author	Tonight_Majestic
Upvotes	4
Comments	12
Date	November 7, 2021 1:44 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/qoot1q/single_dad_15year_age_gapthoughts/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/single-dad-15-year-age-gapthoughts.1085436 https://theredarchive.com/post/1085436