Hi all!

I’ve been replaying an interaction I had with my man yesterday, and I’m still trying to find that line of when to STFU vs express vulnerability.

We have a 1.5 year old, and recently got her a new high chair. After she was in bed for the night, I jokingly sat down in it and said “look, it’s the perfect size for me too!” And joking back, he said “that’s because you have the ass of a toddler”.

I’m usually down for some good natured joking/back and forth, but I’m very insecure about my body. I’m not very curvy, so jokes of that nature just hit me a little harder. I didn’t voice being bothered by the comment, and just moved to clean our family room up since our daughter was in bed.

I was going to STFU, but he ended up coming to find me a few minutes later and asked if everything was okay. I was honest about the comment stinging, but I tried to say so respectfully. He reaffirmed that he loves my body and says so often (he’s a very complimentary/vocal man), and that he only made the comment in a playful spirit because I was joking about fitting into a toddler chair. I agreed that it was a silly thing to be bothered about, and we moved on.

Looking back on the whole interaction, I do feel silly for being upset in the first place. I feel like I let my insecurities get the better of me, and that I probably should have maintained the STFU stance. But maybe expressing my vulnerability wasn’t bad either, because he understands me better now? Anyhow, this is a cluster of a post. I’m curious for any thoughts/advice on if I could have handled this better— thanks!