Supporting unemployment

SecretFeminine · 2023-05-04T22:39:34+00:00

If he has savings, let him pay and you can put a stash aside in your own savings. Then if you get married, it won’t matter who spent what and he can maintain his masculinity (and motivation to find new employment).

jtriangle · 2023-05-04T23:18:58+00:00

If he's running his life in a financially competent way, being unemployed isn't a huge issue. At minimum, temper your expectations back to when you dated college guys, ie, cheap/free dates, cheap gifts, abundant quality time.

Once you've sorted that out in your head, which, it's ok if that takes a little doing, go into cheerleader mode, words of affirmation go a long way. They're like salt, they'll enhance your interactions but they shouldn't be the whole of your interactions.

Remember that men do not respond well to direct pressure from women, however, they respond very well to indirect pressure. For example, asking him "when are you getting a new job?" isn't going to help, but, inviting him over for dinner at your place instead of going out, being your normal feminine self, look good feel good, that kinda thing, will (should) work to light a fire under his butt.

ArkNemesis00 · 2023-05-05T00:34:48+00:00

Sounds like he'll be eligible for unemployment if you're in the US - that should ease most of your issues. My husband thought there was no way he'd qualify back in college when his internship ended, but I looked into it and we got pretty significant payments. I'd help him look for jobs and fulfill the necessary quota.

You mentioned tax penalties on taking money out of savings - check to make sure this applies to contributions. I know for the Roth IRA, you can withdraw your contributions at any time with no penalty. Not sure about a Roth 401K.

If he's got an HSA, he can submit old receipts and take money out penalty free.

LocalCap5093 · 2023-05-04T22:45:49+00:00

I haven’t * but I have been supported. So disregard if this isn’t helpful.

Talk about the long term plan, this includes rest time or reset time. For example my husband told me he was fine it I took 2-3 years (this changed for everyone btw it can be months etc) because his main goal was for me to take a break from work and help us get settled at home, finances, work on my immigration paperwork, etc. but his ‘condition’ was that I continue going to therapy biweekly (just so i have someone to also keep me accountable etc and to let out anything that happened through my spare time) that I kept the home tidy (not perfect, just tidy) and that I find ways to enjoy my time etc. later on I also started my masters so taking a class per term at least.

It’s good to set expectations or boundaries. At the start I got 600 for myself to try and still keep a budget. I plan our finances so now it’s more up to me but that’s because I stick to budgets. He expects me to keep a calendar as well to keep communication going.

So far it’s been 1.5 years since and he says he isn’t in a rush for me to start working, it’s up to me. He knows the job market is hard atm and as long as he sees im doing stuff and working on the house, us as a couple and all then it’s fine.

I had a 2 month period last year were my expenses were pretty high lol I was going through some stuff and he deff brought it up nicely. So yeah- communication is key- especially in order to meet couple goals. He has a good salary but we want more than one property etc so me getting another engineer salary could expedite that for us which is why me working in the next 2-3 years is our goal and that’s what we’re working towards.

Make plans as a couple!

rammerplex · 2023-05-05T01:04:28+00:00

A wife would support her husband in hard times as best as she could, but a boyfriend has a job and a car. Only you know where this relationship is.

AutoModerator · 2023-05-04T21:21:28+00:00

Title: Supporting unemployment

Full text: My partner is soon to be unemployed due to company reorganization, not his own faults.

I'd love advice on how to support him as he does training to be qualified for a position elsewhere (he's been at this company awhile so his skills have become slightly company-specific).

I make more than enough for the two of us, so I want to make sure he feels supported to wait out finding the right job rather than feeling like he needs any job, but I also don't want to make him feel bad for not being the breadwinner or provider.

He also has savings, but I don't want him to burn through it for the sake of it when we can easily live off my cash flow. That being said, I also don't want to become a cash cow that funds everything he wants as well (this isn't the time for him to upgrade everything and buy many wants), though he's always been money conscious so I don't really see this being an issue.

If you've financially and/or emotionally supported a partner through a period of unemployment, I'd love advice!

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Title	Supporting unemployment
Author	littlestircrazy
Upvotes	12
Comments	10
Date	May 4, 2023 9:21 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1380eek/supporting_unemployment/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/supporting-unemployment.1218008 https://theredarchive.com/post/1218008

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