I wrote the below in my journal this morning, but thought I would share in case anyone has comments or reflections (or critiques).

"Living in this way, not questioning or criticizing or trying to control my loved ones, not pushing my own agenda through the household all the time, is an exercise in living better. Living with less fear and anxiety. Living in a state of graceful acceptance and trust. Accepting what I cannot change and accepting that I cannot know the future. Trusting that all will be well, no matter what. It means relinquishing the idea that I know best and that I must forcefully impose my will upon the world around me to keep the chaos at bay. It is an exercise in humility: in humbly accepting that I am not actually in charge of anything except my own behavior. Living this way makes me a better person, helps me live a better life, and helps me bring a more loving and supportive energy into the world, hopefully to all I encounter.

Perhaps with my husband it's a two-step process: first ceasing and desisting all attempts to control. Second, getting out of the way of his masculine energy and inbuilt drive to protect and provide. Allowing and encouraging him to step into those ways of being. Embracing the masculine and feminine energies we bring and the ways in which they swirl together to make a whole.

I do want to be taken care of and looked out for and supported and cherished and loved. I want his protection when I am in danger or vulnerable or afraid. And- I want to ensure that he sees my confidence in him, my admiration for him, and my respect for him, and that he takes those things out into the world, so that he can be his best self as well."