Weekly Self-Reflection Thread: 02/28/2016

littleteafox · 2016-03-01T14:42:09+00:00

Ugly*

My boyfriend of 5 months decided to end things. I am pretty hurt and confused because I legit didn't see it coming. I really believe he still has some baggage post divorce that he didn't consider (or didn't tell me) until it became clear that I was serious. After sleeping on it, I recognize several things I didn't notice before because of my feelings for him. Currently working on moving on from it, with more wisdom about men, and working on myself.
Family drama has reached its highest yet, so I'm officially cutting off several members of my family indefinitely. This has been stressful but its for the best.

Bad

Work has been a mess lately. We had to lay off 6 people because of office politics and my boss is growing more and more....wary? of all of it. I won't say I've been considering looking for new work, but my resume is current, lol, let's leave it at that!

Good

Not sure how good this is, but I've reached my weight goal of 118 lbs. I have lost 3 inches on my waist and my smallest sized skirts are now loose. I'm not sure how happy I am about this given that I lost the weight from stress but oh well. I am working to maintain this weight or consider losing another 3-5 lbs by Summer. (The healthy way of course)

Goals for the Week

Join a bible study. I really have been going deep into faith the last several weeks and it's been really helpful. Plus, it would be nice to build a social calendar around my spiritual development.
Make new friends. The really painful part about going through a lot of stress is that you learn really REALLY fast who your friends are. I finally have come to the conclusion that I have outgrown my current set of friends here in DC and it would be nice to make new ones. Women who share my values on things and are feminine.
Monk Mode. I just want to take a short break from dating. I want to spend the next 60 days working on myself -- cut off toxic ties, get back into a healthy sleep and eating routine, eliminate stress in my life, make new friendships and jumping into my work/school with more focus. I want to really sit down and decide on what kind of man I want, and not just grow feelings for the next guy who shows a little interest. I want to know what I need to do and work on specifically to earn that kind of man, and keep him. I don't think I need more than 2 months to do this, but by then this semester will be over and I will have the summer to be a bit more social.

PixieDelights · 2016-02-29T14:19:33+00:00

Up and down. Last week was a great update, and this week I am not really sure of what to say. Having read the post "I tried to rpw my dying 4 year relationship (with children) and it failed. But I'm still here." and so many things in it sounding familiar has me a bit scared.

I think I need to read through Surrendered Wife again. I think maybe I am not actually surrendering well, and faking it until i make it seems more that I am faking it in an effort to control. This weekend there was a whole to do about a concert and I became very frustrated with him. It highlighted how the way I have treated him for years makes him skittish about making decisions. Then I did what I always do. Way to reinforce that for him!

I recognize that part of my frustration came from a place where I am also frustrated with myself for having created the whole lifestyle situation in the first place. Frustrated and sad for him that he doesn't even feel comfortable enough to say "Yes, let's do this". Frustrations all around, and really annoyed with most of my reflections being such downers.

So I guess the goal is to keep on trucking, re-read Surrendered Wife, STFU, and find a line that I can practice to convey to my husband I trust him to make decisions and will be fine with what he decides.

2016-02-29T16:54:52+00:00

Good: I did not have any anxiety-related freakouts over the weekend. It was a great weekend full of relaxing, being at home, and sex.

I've been wearing makeup and getting dressed every day, even though I don't work every day.

I finally have a set schedule for getting stuff done around the house. Before, I'd just do things whenever they needed to be done, or whenever I could stand to do them. Now, I've been forcing myself to clean the bathroom even if it's not dirty, or washing sheets/towels regularly. It's all making a huge difference, and my husband comments on how clean/tidy the house is frequently.

I've also been doing a good job at STFU when it comes to things like taking out the trash or mowing the lawn. We ran out of gas for the lawn mower, and instead of bugging my husband to do it this weekend, I got gas this morning after he asked so he doesn't have to do it on his way home. The lawn will get mowed, one way or another.

I've been sticking to my Lent plan of taking time to study the Bible and pray every day instead of spending pointless time on Facebook/Instagram. I took a few minutes to unfollow accounts on IG that piss me off on a regular basis, or make me green with envy/jealousy, or that have nothing to do with the main things I follow on IG (fitness, running, breweries). While showering, I even thought about deleting it altogether. I've realized that FB is just a complete waste of time and energy. It feels great to take this break from it.

Bad: I have some attitudes towards family members (my family) that I need to let go of or improve. It causes me to make my frustration the center of some conversations with my husband and it's just unhealthy.

Still struggling with infertility, and how I actually feel about either having a kid or not. I dwell on this a lot and it also becomes the center of some conversations. Sick of talking about it and dwelling on it so much. We can be happy, just me and him.

Ugly: None for now.

ragnarockette · 2016-03-01T01:44:59+00:00

It's been varying degrees of bad and ugly this week. Wedding planning + weight loss has made me rather irritable. Today was a good day, but I struggled to get through my workout and really just want to decompress tonight. My man is so wonderful. Definitely going to make a trip to pound town a priority tonight.

MonsteraDeliciosa · 2016-02-29T15:12:48+00:00

The Good: the normal stressful period of my work year has begun and so far we're still on track for things like "a balanced meal was served". This gets more complicated when I start working until 8 some days, and I have requested a freezer for the garage to do freezer meals this year. I hate having to rely on him to produce dinner because the easiest route is a frozen package, and while that is technically food, it's not good food. So- trying to plan ahead for a busy few months instead of playing catch-up.

Bad- Friday involved a removal company hauling 1.5 trucks of yard waste from our backyard (yay!), but a complete stress meltdown from me because there was a mess in the first place. I don't know WHY it feels like I should apologize for needing a full-on dead tree removed (how would I do this myself??), but service calls make me anxious.

Ugly- I have eaten everything in my path this week and consumed enough calories for my entire block. My body does not appreciate this series of decisions.

delores_rose · 2016-02-29T15:46:44+00:00

UGLY- Like some of the other ladies admitted, my diet has been way off this week. Mostly because of drinking sugary caffeinated crap. One of my Starbucks's choice was almost 400 calories :(

BAD- I am having a hard time surrendering and trusting my man right now. The more feminine I become, the more I feel like he is lazy and not living up to his potential. He is not alpha in any way at all, and if I rely on him to take the lead, nothing gets done! My fault though, I chose time during a time when I was still very much aligned with modern feminism. We aren't fighting or anything I just am not sure where this relationship is headed.

GOOD- I wore makeup and skirts 3 days this week, and even when I wanted to press the snooze button, I forced myself to get up and take care of myself. I decided I am going to grow my hair out (it's about shoulder length now) and have starting taking biotin and spending time on the long hair community forum to learn how to take care of it properly. I also got an A on my mid-term!

2016-02-29T17:10:42+00:00

The good: I had a big inner struggle accepting one of my husband's decisions. (I posted about it and people really helped me out.) I've been working on being supportive and understanding, which he appreciates, and it's made me feel really close to him. I also kept up my exercise routine, went to yoga class, and started reading a new book JUST FOR FUN because I'm trying to keep up my self-care.

The bad: I'm a little overwhelmed with work. I'm a stay at home mom but I do some freelance work -- right now I'm in a busy spell. I'm finding it tricky to balance that that with the kids' schedule and the housework and my husband is extra busy and I'm starting to feel a little chaotic.

The ugly: nothing outright ugly. But last week's chaos is spilling over into this week, which could get ugly if I don't organize myself!

littleteafox · 2016-02-29T17:57:58+00:00

The good:

I suspect that my bf is more traditionally minded than I had originally thought! Just some offhanded comments he's made about how his best friend is "acting like the wife in their relationship" and so on. We haven't really talked about that directly before but I think in his head he does have some pretty clear roles in mind regarding relationships, which I actually like! I think he'd actually put me in my place if I stepped out of line, not that I'm planning to, but I like knowing that it's there even if it's small.
We had a great time at the 2cellos concert! Ah it was delightful, it was more like a cello-rock concert with lights and a fog machine and everything. So much fun, and wonderful music. Even though he had a super busy day at work, and had more work to do later that night, he still made time for us to go out and have a lovely evening. I made sure to wear one of his favorite red dresses :)
He's been out of town since Sunday and will be returning on Wednesday, and since it's international our communications will be severely limited. We've been pretty tight since we started dating so it feels very strange, and I miss him like crazy. He said he wishes I was there and it's not the same without me, which I definitely appreciate. He has managed to figure out a way to keep in touch via his hotel's wifi, so there's that at least :) I know it's only 4 days, and all I need to do is remember some of the ladies here who married military men to snap my perspective right back into place!
He had an interior decorator lady come over to his house to give him some ideas on floorplans/spaces/etc. She had some great ideas about knocking down a wall to make a breakfast bar, changing mudroom locations, moving furniture around, etc. He's dropped quite a few hints about me moving in when my lease is up so I'm pretty excited about things coming together. He's also trying to flip his house (he made money when he bought it, it was a short sale) and has already remodeled the bathroom on his own, and has requested my help in making it look pretty so it's all exciting and fun :) Especially since I've wanted a garden for years, but have always lived in apartments without a yard, and he says I can do whatever I want with his.
I've been back on track counting my calories and staying around where I should be (1250ish). I'm not liking it, though!

Bad

I'm realizing that I waste too much time in the morning, between staying in bed to catch up on social media, dragging my feet to get ready for work, etc etc. I need to change something.. start a daily planner - something to manage my time better and start out my morning right. The Perfect Me would jump out of bed at 7, do yoga and go for a run, drink the trendy lemon water, have a shower and avocado toast, then cheerily drive to work full of energy and sunshine. This.. is not what happens, lol!

Daisyjane13 · 2016-03-01T19:55:40+00:00

Good: I got everything I needed to start the part time job so it'll take a little stress off of SO.

Bad: I've kinda been slacking on my diet and exercise since I've been so busy doing things for the new job ( no excuse ) & SO is noticing :(

Ugly: I trusted SO to do something and he royally screwed up. I didn't know how to handle it the rp way so I went back to my old ways and it caused a huge disagreement and a little resentment from me. Ended with me saying " I'll handle it from now on " :/

Goals: get back into my fitness routine. Trust SO more with things. Add some flirty spring clothes to my wardrobe.

fhigurethisout · 2016-03-02T17:26:54+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2016-02-29T14:11:59+00:00

good

This week I bought my jeans. haha. I know I've posted here about having the holes in them and kinda just accepting that cause I'm losing weight but I just bought some from old Navy to see if I should stick with this size or at least not spend so much money while i'm in transition. I'm a size 8 for the first time in over 10 years!!!!!!! They are even a bit loose but the 6's just didn't look right. but I"m getting there.

Finished my service position in AA and am not transitioning to another one.

Worked really hard on filling up my time in between activities so I don't just sit down and waste time. This week has been really busy and I know that when I just sit down for a bit.. that really means I'm tapping out. So I kept moving and got so much done this week.

SO and I are still happy in love :) <3<3<3

bad

diet was craptacular this week but I'm ok with that really. I know I can't punish myself for not being perfect but it is worth mentioning that I ate a ding dong for breakfast. haha yeah that happened.

ugly

ugh. that post.

Title	Weekly Self-Reflection Thread: 02/28/2016
Author	fhigurethisout
Upvotes	6
Comments	38
Date	February 29, 2016 5:15 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/488k3y/weekly_selfreflection_thread_02282016/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/weekly-self-reflection-thread-02282016.86023 https://theredarchive.com/post/86023

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