Where do I go from here?

smithsqueen · 2019-07-21T22:07:07+00:00

The fact that he is 38 and you’re 18 is all I needed to know. He is an adult and you are a child, no doubt he just sees you as a housekeeping tool and will leave once another one comes along. Run back to your parents house and don’t look back, get a job and/or enroll in community college working towards a certificate or a degree in something useful like accounting or nursing. You’re so young you wouldn’t even be behind your peers with classes at this point. There is so much opportunity for you to have a loving, successful marriage with a man after you mature a bit and can survive on your own if he leaves, as another user said there is a 95% failure rate for 20 year age gap marriages. Don’t set yourself up for failure and abuse, if you’re not trolling that is.

teaandtalk · 2019-07-21T21:48:50+00:00

If you're having these sorts of troubles six months in, you're just going to have more as time goes on. You moved in far too quickly, with someone incompatible.

Don't move in so quickly, and be careful dating someone too much older than you.

ragnarockette · 2019-07-21T21:29:12+00:00

This age difference will lead to nothing good.

ApuAllAlone · 2019-07-21T23:13:56+00:00

I will just repeat what I said last time:

I will try not to repeat what others here have said so I'll just say this: the biggest red flag is that he hasn't married you. You're essentially a maid with sex.

He just wants warm meals, a clean home and empty balls. He doesn't care about what you want. At least if you were married you would have the security knowing that if he ever chose to throw you out, you could get a settlement to start off your new life.

Sounds like you're being used to be honest.

raisin_warlord · 2019-07-21T21:58:25+00:00

Didn't you post 8 days ago something similar?

Maybelowsmv · 2019-07-21T22:02:42+00:00

Usually I don't really care about age gaps, but this one is too big. I doubt he sees you as anything more than a sexual fling. Find someone closer to your age or five years older max to find someone who will actually see you for you

[deleted] · 2019-07-21T23:48:00+00:00

He’s way too old to be dating an 18 year old

LateralThinker13 · 2019-07-22T14:12:45+00:00

It feels like he is taking me for granted since I cook and clean for him and he can get sex whenever he wants.

um... okay, you're being used. Full stop. It's possible for love matches to happen with this much of an age range... but you're barely an adult. This guy is scoring prime nubile sex for minimal output.

I am a very deep and emotional person and love a deep, emotional connection. He’s not very affectionate or deep.

Because the only depth he wants appears to be your censored. Leave. You can do much better. He's a player not a Captain.

AnarchoNAP · 2019-07-22T00:53:41+00:00

There are a few things going on here.

From your description I can't tell if this is normal settling into real life stuff or ignoring you stuff. I don't think its unreasonable for the woman to manage the social life. The man should still be putting in some effort though. So if you just aren't going out on dates twice a week that's not particularly abnormal or concerning. If he ignores you all the time and treats you like a maid that's bad.

You are 18 and have no disclosed baggage. You do not need to settle for a guy with a kid. This also proves that not only has he not been able to find someone by 38- why?- but he has made major life mistakes in the past. What has he done to prove he won't repeat these mistakes and has instead learned from them?

The age gap is too much. You're just starting life and he's almost 40. I question either the maturity or motives of a guy who is 38 and gets a 18 year old girlfriend. No matter how mature or intelligent you are you just don't have the life experience of a 38 year old. And *if you do* then that means that said 38 year old has spend WAY too much time screwing around and not learning anything from life- so what has changed about him now. At 18 I was "not dating" a guy 12 years older than me. Now I have to wonder wtf was wrong with him to find that appealing.

girlwithabike · 2019-07-21T22:58:57+00:00

Would you indulge me in a vetting q&a?

First: what do you know about his past relationships? Was he ever married? What does he say about exes? Friendly with any of them still? Has he had serious LTRs or a lot of short term flings?

nevomintoarce · 2019-07-26T10:05:48+00:00

He's 38 and didn't marry the woman he knocked up. Get out before he puts a baby in you too.

mephistophelessoul · 2019-07-24T18:18:36+00:00

IN my opinion there is no reason for him to marry you. You are doing all the things that a married woman would do. He gets to have that without you having any security.
I would be worried about a 38 year old with an 18 year old, it is not a healthy frame of mind. Usually in these situations, the guy can't get with a woman his age because they have experience and know what red flags to stay away from. 6 months is not a lot of time, and seeing that you said he had 2 relationships in 2 years, that you considered LTR is another issue. At his age, that is not a LTR.

dian_slay26 · 2019-07-26T17:31:44+00:00

You go home, girl. He's wayyy to old for you.

TradiWaifu · 2019-07-30T13:21:18+00:00

Leave. There are MULTIPLE reasons why this pairing is doomed to failure. First and obvious, the age gap. He’s 20 years older than you girl! Age isn’t just a number. It’s a place in life. You and he are in totally different places. You want him to be a senior citizen when you’re in your youth? What if you have kids?! Please get back out there and find someone who is in the same stage of life as you.

TradiWaifu · 2019-07-30T13:26:27+00:00

I really hope you take all this advice you’ve been given. When you are in your late 30’s,or even late 20’s, think back on this and imagine dating an 18 year old. You will understand.

RedPillMissionary · 2019-07-21T23:36:58+00:00

Male perspective: try scheduling a date night weekly or biweekly with everything you want to happen included. Approach it like a negotiation. Older guys should appreciate that. Ive lived all over the world and age range is only an issue in the US, from what Ive noticed, because americans try to emulate relationships they see in the movies. Most men cant do that. Many are introverts. However once a week it can be a great escape for even the quietest man to celebrate who a woman is and escape into her world for a bit. Dancing, walking in the park, picnics, double dates, theatre, concerts, can sound basic but be very efficient in reigniting passion and deep connection. You sound like every man’s dream, but if youre needs arent met, something may need to change. Perhaps more efficient time together can help.

Title	Where do I go from here?
Author	roseyylove
Upvotes	0
Comments	52
Date	July 21, 2019 9:18 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/cg48jw/where_do_i_go_from_here/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/where-do-i-go-from-here.246174 https://theredarchive.com/post/246174

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