Would you date someone that habitually does things you can't stand?

heythereitsemily · 2022-07-05T02:24:40+00:00

If someone does things that I’m definitely not attracted to, I wouldn’t be attracted to them. I don’t date people I’m not attracted to. Therefore, I would not date that person. Being lazy and smoking all day sounds like a person with no goals and poor hygiene. I’m not into that.

Snarkers-Anonymous · 2022-07-05T04:43:56+00:00

Men tend to be on their best behavior during the dating stage, so if he’s already putting me down and acting like a jerk then it tells me he will be even worse once he is comfortable around me and not trying to impress me all the time.

Smoking is a no for me as is excessive drinking or over eating junk foods. Laziness is a literal turn off for me, I don’t find lazy men sexually desirable. Why would I? I’m not going to settle down and have kids with a man I can’t depend on to be my equal partner. I’m hard working, I need a hard working partner.

Inflated ego? More like insecure and in need of constant validation that I will have to give him but which will never be enough to fill the void. Men with “inflated egos” are often just wounded, insecure men with anger problems who need therapy but won’t go. Been there, done that, have the passport stamps to prove it.

Pumping up a man’s confidence sometimes is one thing but if his ego is constantly needing coddling then this means he will never want to face up to his mistakes, take responsibility, or work to improve himself in any way. These are the men who, in bed, will crumple at the slightest bit of feedback, because god forbid you guide his hand to your clitoris, which is located two inches to the left of where he’s currently mashing his fingers. You get my drift? Some ego = all men. Too much ego = exhausting man child. You know the difference when you see it. A truly confident man does not seek validation and doesn’t need to constantly assert his superiority. He is secure and knows that his competence is obvious and needs no announcement.

So for your big question, my answer is…no. Hell no. You’re basically describing severe incompatibility and I do not know why one would stay with someone they are incompatible with unless they have a very strong bond/foundation and love for that person that overcomes the incompatibility. But this is not the case during the early dating stage.

My friends who ignored incompatibility and rushed to the altar are not happier for it. My friend who couldn’t stand how her boyfriend had poor hygiene regularly vents about it to us now, several years later. It got worse, not better. My other friend who ignored her boyfriends lack of ambition finally broke things off about 6 years later…6 year of supporting him financially while he talked of going back to school for his graduate degree, made excuses for why he can’t find a higher paying job, and let her work long hard hours at her job to pay their bills.

Can men change? Of course! But the dating market isn’t one of speculation. You are not flipping a house for profit, you are picking out a partner. So whether or not the man could one day hypothetically be compatible with you isn’t a good thing to weigh when making decisions. Is the man compatible NOW, does he share your values NOW, that’s the question.

Thin-Skill699 · 2022-07-05T06:55:04+00:00

It depends. The pros have to outweigh the cons. For example, my husband smokes pot heavily and is also super lazy as far as cleaning. I hate that. But, he’s super supportive, works hard and treats me well. I was able to compromise his annoying habits because we agreed that I’ll clean the house and he will take on more financially. He also smokes in one area of the house so it doesn’t bother me. So again it just really depends! If someone does more to annoy me than they do to please me, then no!!

akitty247 · 2022-07-05T10:58:08+00:00

I’ve seen in some of your comments that you might get an arranged (I’m Pakistani abs very familiar with this) even if it is an arranged marriage have high standards and do not accept and shitty men

brushshstrokes · 2022-07-05T05:28:59+00:00

If I found a behavior that I couldn't live with, I would break up with them.

But.... you're gonna marry a man with annoying habits. All men have them. All women have them too. Putting up with your spouse's annoying habits is part of being married.

Just be sure these are habits you can live with.

WordsinaWhisper · 2022-07-05T12:26:33+00:00

i want to try and restrain my answer, but this is like asking "there is a guy/girl who i hate things they do. should i commit to being with them so i can hate everything they do for a really really long time?" just think rationally, would this make sense to you?

Natuasi · 2022-07-05T12:59:11+00:00

LateralThinker13 · 2022-07-05T04:16:31+00:00

No. Massive irritations will not become more endearing with time.

Also, most such behaviors are red flags.

Typical_Apartment_57 · 2022-07-05T05:13:28+00:00

Tbh from experience, after communicating you don't like such things, and them still doing them, shows that they have little to no respect for either you or your presence in the relationship. This is such a NO NO because from here on out it'll merely get worse AND you'll end up holding a grudge that will lead you to eventually explode in their face or turn cold and shut off your emotions. If you're experiencing this I recommend dropping them entirely because there are 7-8 billion people in the world, and at least one of them would treat you right and love you for what you choose in life. :)

tab_log · 2022-07-05T04:38:01+00:00

I'm in a relationship with someone who does things habitually that I don't like. We both knew this at the start of our relationship and he said he wanted to quit smoking at least but he still didn't after 3 years. It's indeed pretty annoying to be with, but in the end that's my fault - I fell for him as well...

iMustBawful · 2022-07-05T14:31:24+00:00

Not intentionally!

javlck_stripe · 2022-07-05T15:23:57+00:00

If you can't stand: no.

goldhundreddollar · 2022-07-05T18:29:24+00:00

Hell no

Title	Would you date someone that habitually does things you can't stand?
Author	ScratchyCatCakes
Upvotes	26
Comments	31
Date	July 5, 2022 1:58 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/vrmxsa/would_you_date_someone_that_habitually_does/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/would-you-date-someone-that-habitually-does-things.1122989 https://theredarchive.com/post/1122989

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