Here is the video that I am speaking of , AMS is interesting as he is one of the biggest voices in the red pill community outside of Kevin Samuels. Here in this video he speaks about how old pua coaches would say that you don't have to worry about looks and money to get women and how they would discount that like of self improvement which is how he got so big. I remember this as I was a pick up artist from 2013 to 2016 and that was all the rage.

Anyway, he speaks about how there is two types of confidence, beta confidence and alpha confidence. Beta confidence is essentially when you rely on external factors (getting in shape, making money and etc) and alpha confidence is when it is all internal validation.

He says that at the end of the day you are going to have to get yourself to alpha confidence. That alpha confidence is when you know that no matter who you are, what you make or how you look like that there will be women who like you. That while you being in shape and making money will increase your odds, you should be confident without it.

It is interesting. There are fat people who are confidence and have swagger and there are guys who are in shape who are un confident and socially awkward. I believe a lot of this has to do with toxic shame, something that is rarely spoken about in the manosphere. Toxic shame being that you see yourself as insufficient, not enough and bad. Basically a lack of self worth and low self esteem.

I suppose that this is food for thought. We all want to make ourselves better in our lives. The gyms reopened near me and I just got back in there and I just started working on my real estate license. But at the end of the day, making sure that I can love myself and feel good about myself is the most important thing.

I remember when I first got into pick up. At that point I had already started going to the gym so I was getting into shape, but I wasn't where I was at my peak (by 2018 I was at 10% body fat) and I still got dates. Not as much as I did when I lost weight, but still. A big part of it was I just straight up played the numbers game. I would go out everyday to the mall or wherever and chase ass.

In conclusion, it is always important to remember to slow down when you working on yourself. Getting in shape feels great. Making money feels great. But life will always be up and down. But are you going to be the athlete who was on top and then once he got down stayed down or are you going to be able to ride those lows knowing that you will win again?