Summary: "Attraction Basics" series is based on things that need to be fixed before one should hit the streets (you can find all the other posts here on TRP). This one however will be an issue only after one open his mouth. It's the voice and a multitude of problems related to it.

 

What's sexier - deep booming bass or high pitched squeak? It's obvious. You should learn how to speak low, preferably at all times. The best tool for that? Record yourself during interactions (use your phone - hidden in your pocket or with wired/Bluetooth headset). In most cases you will not be happy with what you hear.

Many guys, on top of other problems with their voice, are nervous around hotties and can't control themselves. But working on your voice isn't any different than working on any other part of you. So the moment you'll start to realize you're making mistakes you can start correcting them. Then try to fake confidence. Speak loudly and clearly. When you speak slow your pitch usually is lower. You can give it a little more bass just by trying to sound "manly" but do not overdo this (or do it at all).

 

Three most common issues with one's voice while speaking to a hot girl are: - not speaking loud enough (do you have to repeat your sentences or lean forward?), - supplicating tone (does your pitch goes higher at the end of a sentence?), - talking too fast (you don't even have to check this one - everyone is speaking too fast when they’re excited).

Do a post-flight check for those things and rate yourself in each category. The real game-changer will still be listening to your own recordings. You really won't be ready for what you're about to hear. Little mistakes will include using filler words ("uh", "um"), signs of admiration ("Wow!", "Cool!") and nervous laugh (no, it's not your "cool laugh"). In each case silence or a nod are much better option. A bland "ok" also can cover most of those situations.

One thing that many people struggle to grasp is the way to open with a question that sounds like a statement. You say the question (for example the standard "Can I say to you something really quickly?") using intonation of a statement. Try that now - it's not that hard. You'll sound like you expect the answer to be "yes" thus showing confidence. Mind you that there might be no answer coming from the girl - just assume she agrees and carry on. The same goes for saying your opener/compliment/initial stack. Don't finish with a full stop or the girl will say "thank you" and go away. Pause as if you'd like to continue.

 

Equally good "voice" topic is avoiding questions. I strongly encourage everyone to take a few days of challenge where for the first 1-2 minutes of the approach you don't ask any questions at all. Some questions can be avoided using a simple trick - instead of asking her something just look for confirmation of a positive answer. For example instead of "Do you speak English?" you might start with "I hope you speak English" line. As for the rest of the conversation you should learn how to make assumptions. Those sentences are used extensively when you talk to your friends or family. You're not making interview with your best friend and you shouldn't do so with a hot girl.

So don't ask questions of doom like "what do you do?" or "where are you going?". You can always answer them by yourself. Instead of "what are you doing?" look at her and think of an answer. If she has a gym bag on her arm then "You look like you're going to the gym" is a basic assumption. It's just boring answer to an unasked question. Not great but much, much better than "Are you going to the gym?".

Twist that and you'll get something better - something that will give the girl an easy way to respond. "You look tired but happy, like you're just going home after a crazy workout at the gym." Add some more to that and you'll have a short assumption story: "You have a big grin on your face and a gym bag on your arm. I bet you're one of those crazy instructors that just enjoy making people feel pain and you're about to teach a particularly lazy class". Boring? Not anymore. No hook for her to continue the conversation? Not at all...

 

Back to basics: talking too fast takes most time to eradicate but it doesn't need special work - you just need to become more used to the whole idea of approaching during the day and in time - less excited. Speaking too quiet on the other hand is hardest - guys are afraid of the spotlight effect (people hearing the conversation) or saying something stupid. Both things are nothing to be afraid of. Either go and approach in really quiet places where everyone can hear you (to desensitize yourself) or in a really loud environments (so you'll have to speak loud).

As for the conversation - it's far too big of a topic to even consider writing a post about it. So I'll end it here.

 

Lessons learned:

  • Speak slower.
  • Speak lower.
  • Don't be afraid of the girl, talk to her like you know each other for years ("assume familiarity").
  • Don't ask too many questions (or at all). Use rich statements and assumptions to move the conversation forward.

 

These tips are most useful when picking up girls during the day. I write more about it on my daygame blog if that's your thing.