Cheating

Archwinger · 2015-08-09T19:20:30+00:00

The Red Pill isn't a moral framework. It can give you all kinds of theories on how to attract women, why certain things work and certain things don't, and help you achieve whatever your goals are. It can tell you what to watch out for while you're doing all of that.

It can't tell you what you want or what your goals are. That's up to you.

And whether or not you're okay cheating on your new girlfriend of one-month is between you and the guy in the mirror, or between you and God if you're religious. And between you and the girl if you plan on telling her.

MentORPHEUS · 2015-08-09T19:49:38+00:00

1 month exclusive

So, you actually discussed and agreed to exclusivity but one month in you're back to spinning plates. Assuming you care about your ethics with this particular woman, at the one month mark, it's not hard to untangle this. DON'T tell her about the incident, just have a discussion along the lines of, "I really like you and want to keep seeing you but I'm not sure if I want to commit to an exclusive relationship." She'll either break it off with you or continue on new terms, an ethical win in either case.

If you DON'T want to be openly poly, as in continue seeing her but secretly spinning plates, you'll have to get the roles and behaviors of your various partners organized for efficiency and stability. Check out my post about spinning multiple LTR plates and a main GF concurrently. It's a lot of work, but running several parallel relationships offered several different love lives to be experienced, which I found better than serial monogamy with women who were mostly great relationship material but couldn't cover certain intimacy needs.

Sometimes the individual who makes a great companion in every other way falls flat in the bedroom. As Jack Handy put it, "My wife wouldn't know sensuality if it bit her in the ass!" The not-even-a-handjob part reminds me of the LTR that all this started in my life; she was enthusiastic enough in bed but 100% passive and receptive. Not in a starfish way, but no initiative or curiosity of her own. It got boring!

TL;DR Move her back to nonexclusive status, it's only been a month. Spinning plates alongside a main LTR is possible, but requires time and effort and may culminate in an ethical and drama-laden blowup.

AdonisHera · 2015-08-09T19:39:28+00:00

As men, we are to have honor. I don't think there is any honor in cheating. As a guy who's witnessed my mother be cheated on, after she was an ideal wife, I can't give you a round of applause. You're hamstering like a woman right now. If you wanted to just fuck girls, then don't get in a relationship. don't come here asking us to help you with bullshit like this. I'm not gonna sugarcoat anything with you. You decide what you should do.

thiasus · 2015-08-09T21:17:26+00:00

but for some reason I don't feel bad.

Because you got the sex that you wanted without having to deal with the exclusivity of your current relationship.

Maybe its this subreddit, maybe I'm just not into her enough? Either way she's been on her period for the last week and wouldn't do so much as give me a handjob.

Stop hamstering; you are hinting at the truth (you wanted sex and weren't getting it) while trying to cover it up with excuses.

She's a great girl, smart, determined and only had 1 previous partner (23) so I know I have something good

Good for what? are you planning on settling down any time soon? having kids? you are describing a girl in terms that make me think you'd like her as a long term partner, but it seems to me that since you're ready to go off and fuck an ex and the drop of a text you are not at all interested in settling down, so what are you describing her as "good" for?

I'm going to go out on a limb here: you have somewhat swallowed the red pill, but you are stilled mired in residues of blue pill thinking. The reason why you describe this girl with traits that are stereotypically good for a LTR, the reason why you did start a LTR with her, is that you still think "that's what people do". You think that if you find the right girl you are supposed to stick with her, because that's what's done.

But it isn't. It's not what you want (evidently), it's not what's best for you (it used to be, in a different time, in a different society, but not today), it's not what's best for anybody. You started a LTR with a girl, cheated on her after a month because you couldn't go a week without busting a nut. That alone says everything you need to know about how predisposed you are to a LTR right now.

Break up with her. You could try to demote her to plate status but I doubt you'd have the clarity of direction to keep it that way. Cut her off and go spin plates for a few years because clearly it's what you want. On the balance of things I think you shouldn't tell her you cheated on her because it'd only cause unnecessary pain, but that's a decision you've got to make yourself.

MagneticJohnson · 2015-08-09T20:55:19+00:00

Girls will say they don't like cheaters. Their nature tells a different story.

I have too much experience to be fooled by what people say anymore. Sure, most women don't like being cheated on, but it sure as hell keeps the attraction going. And attraction is the absolute base of any relationship.

I've been "nice" before, and been burned from it. Now, I base my decisions on her nature rather than "what's right".

Becominganalpha · 2015-08-09T19:47:25+00:00

She's a great girl, smart, determined

These are not reasons to be with a woman.

But she's not overly sexual

This is a reason to not be with a woman. Women are for fucking. The older I get the more I understand this truth.

DRAG-ON_DRAGOON · 2015-08-09T20:47:50+00:00

You are free to do whatever you want to do.

I don't know why you agreed to a monogamous relationship though, if you were planning/deciding to fuck other girls. It comes off as very weak to want her to be monogamous to you while you go and fuck other people behind her back.

Just seems like you are needy to want to lock her down to a LTR and then weak to sneak off and get external validation from another bird.

Auphor_Phaksache · 2015-08-09T19:21:55+00:00

TRP is about being the best person you can be. Physically, mentally, and morally as well. Banging women and not being in a exclusive relationship is one thing, but to me cheating is pretty shitty. Its essentially lying, and lying is not the trademark of TRP. Additionally you run the risk of fucking up someone emotionally. I don't want to preach with the whole "treat others as you want to be treated" bullshit... But cmon bro. Cmon...

Retro93 · 2015-08-09T21:24:53+00:00

Obviously I know this is wrong (morally)

Ask yourself, what is obvious about this?

What is "immoral" about doing what you want?

What were the reasons behind your actions? (Why did you fuck someone else?)

When you can answer those questions for yourself, you'll know where you truly stand on cheating. It's honorable to feel negatively about cheating, sure. But examine what your actions are. If loyalty were highly important to you, I believe that you would've acted differently. Be honest with yourself, even if it doesn't feel good.

oldredder · 2015-08-09T21:54:22+00:00

It's because you have no soul. It's OK, this is the place for men like that. Also 1 month exclusive isn't that serious but really you should be exclusive to no one. Your own sex drive & choices prove it. Nothing to be ashamed of: in fact, by refusing to be exclusive and fuck who you want, you take control of your life and you can be proud of it. No need to lie to get it done.

Either way she's been on her period for the last week and wouldn't do so much as give me a handjob.

And that's a bitch move on her part. A woman must accept, MUST, that if she refuses sex to the man she's with he has NO REASON to avoid sex, just let her choose to avoid sex and go get it somewhere else. Women better learn this lesson because it's how they act and we, men, have no reason to sit with no sex if we want sex.

Not one woman ever has turned me down for a blowjob, handjob, whatever when she's on her period and if she did I wouldn't put up with it.

only had 1 previous partner (23) so I know I have something good

You know NOTHING, Jon Snow. Partner count is NEVER EVER EVER an indication of how good a girl is.

RedSovereign · 2015-08-09T22:17:48+00:00

Post questions to /r/asktrp.

musclebound92 · 2015-08-09T19:32:40+00:00

I dont commend this in any way, imagine if a woman were writing this, every man would be commenting and saying "See See women are whores." But if you do it, its okay. Hypocrite. And you are clearly here for the wrong reasons. You should re-evaluate yourself man.

HAMMURABl · 2015-08-09T19:20:56+00:00

Nah. Men crave novelty much more than women. Analogously, men provide commitment and resources while women provide sexual exclusiveness. Men being exclusive is like women providing resources - nice to have, but not necessarily part of the deal.

Even when I am in LTRs, I hardly consider banging other chicks "cheating" on my part. Cheating would be lying about my education/job/possessions etc.

Title	Cheating
Author	Becominganalpha
Upvotes	0
Comments	43
Date	August 9, 2015 7:15 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3gdlv8/cheating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/cheating.35419 https://theredarchive.com/post/35419

Comments