Developing unconditional positive regard for the self.

Temperfuelmma · 2016-10-04T17:00:19+00:00

and maybe save a life.

It pains me to say that I've lost 3 of my close friends. All suicide. All male. People have this weird perception that men, even young boys, shouldn't need emotional support.

Love yourself selfishly. That's the most unselfish advice I can give you but care for those that stand by you and always lend a helping hand to a broken man that wants help.

CurlyHairedPrince · 2016-10-04T17:15:42+00:00

Solid Post. A positive mindset can achieve wonders.

Some side benefits:

1) Your positivity has a way of rubbing off on people, you'll notice (most) people start to greet you enthusiastically and people will naturally flock towards you.

2) Helps overcome negative relationships with people. Here's a little field report to illustrate:

At work I would always avoid the sales manager because of his constant beratement towards my job performance even though I was out performing most of my seniors. It didn't matter if I had sold a huge service or earned serious amounts of profit for the store.

Why hadn't I done this and why hadn't I done that?

The point is, he definitely had it out for me, in fact the other employees were shocked because he would be high-five(ing) them for their small sales and lecturing me on my bigger sales.

This would piss me off and make me passive aggressive towards him, which in turn pissed him off and the situation spiraled out of control which would have lead me getting fired and jobless.

Law 1: Never Outshine the Master (PDF)

Always make those above you feel comfortably superior. In your desire to please or impress them, do not go too far in displaying your talents or you might accomplish the opposite – inspire fear and insecurity. Make your masters appear more brilliant than they are and you will attain the heights of power.

This law explained why he was acting the way he was towards me. My huge sales that I worked hard on, the ones that I thought would make him pleased with me (and get him off my back) were only accomplishing the opposite. I was making him look bad in front of the other employees. He had wanted to flex his "sales experience" in front of other employees by teaching me but I was actively and overtly denying his knowledge in front of others and still making a killing in sales. I'm sure you can understand why he thought that would be bad for him.

Literally the next day, I see him and instead of walking the other way, I walk towards his sneering face and burst into a huge and genuine smile and asked how his day was going? I didn't pretend to smile, I was in a genuine positive mindset. I had decided to let go of all the hate towards him and treat him as an old friend. The shock on his face was priceless. I told him that the little tip he gave me the day before really helped and I owe him that sale. I made sure to say it loud enough so others would hear it. He was caught off guard and quietly excused himself. After that, I would always smile and nod whenever I saw him in the store.

A week later, we're best buds. We smile and greet each other. In fact, he constantly uses me as an example in front of other employees and embellishes every sale I get, whether it's a small or a big one.

I know this field report is more of being positive on the outside but that can only be reflected by feeling positive on the inside. Also, the 1st Law is more about making those above you feel superior but if you genuinely show care to the person putting you down, they will feel bad for treating you so harshly and will start to reciprocate your positive and caring attitude back towards you.

EDIT: I'd like to make it clear that though this sort of positive attitude is great for defusing hostile and negative relationships, it is NOT a good strategy to continue using alone if you want to remain in high standings of your recipient, as it will only make you appear a "kiss-ass" or a "suck-up", in some cases they might even think you have no self-respect. This would slowly and inevitably lead them back to disrespecting you. It's only half of what I like to call the "Corporate Formula". Eventually the recipient will feel bored of your constant positive attitude and while he might still reciprocate, he will only play nice on the surface. For him to bestow great heights of power to you, you need to add value from his association with you. If anyone is interested, let me know in the comments and if there is enough interest, I'll make a post on it.

EDIT 2: It seems there is definitely some interest in having me continue this post and expand on what I've already written. So instead of me giving you a half assed answer, I'll write out a detailed post in a few days. If you're really curious, it's simple, it's got to do with adding value to their already high social value as a manager. What it is and How to successfully accomplish this will be included in the post.

PawnToKing · 2016-10-04T15:40:24+00:00

It's refreshing to see a post this positive on a subreddit that's usually filled with negativity and petty arguments. Nice work, man.

joseph_fuzzco_Jr · 2016-10-04T22:52:09+00:00

Today is a good day because you did your best! Well done!

-Jackie Chan

2016-10-04T15:47:20+00:00

Hell yeah. This is the key to escaping the system. Once you start seeing every outcome as a step towards improving yourself... then no-one can stop you.

you3337 · 2016-10-04T17:19:15+00:00

This sub needs more positivity thanks boi.

GodFan · 2016-10-04T15:48:05+00:00

Fucking right man. This is what everybody here can get behind.

Kxdan · 2016-10-04T15:50:11+00:00

All improvement starts with yourself and your mind, you should always hold yourself in high regard

TheRedHydra · 2016-10-05T14:20:16+00:00

Meditation for me helped make a big difference here. When you begin to see your thoughts as not who you are but as just thoughts it makes a huge difference

whatsthisgarg · 2016-10-04T17:58:32+00:00

Do you want to cite the man who developed this? Carl Rogers.

Another humanistic psychologist worth looking into is Maslow. Self-actualization. This stuff is neglected somewhat now because it's not flashy. And it's a lot of work, not only to accomplish, but also just to read. But it's very congruent with TRP.

Ascended_One · 2016-10-04T19:52:36+00:00

Great post, thanks for the reminder OP! Most people on TRP subreddit post content filled with negativity that will kill you inside, but you've understood what the Red Pill is all about and share it. You're awesome!

redestofthereds · 2016-10-05T02:07:56+00:00

I'm trying to get a freelance career off the ground and I try to remember-as trite as it sounds-that if things go south, I am still a little bit closer to my goal than I was before.

It's a fucking grind to get started, so the last thing I need is to be hard on myself.

Surfincloud9 · 2016-10-05T03:50:57+00:00

Sending some unconditional positive regard your way ~~~~~~

blimp11 · 2016-10-04T22:24:25+00:00

always be for...never against. Negativity does not make for prosperous outcomes

meaningintragedy · 2016-10-04T23:38:59+00:00

I've been to a concert today and had a quick chat with a girl there. When it finished I asked her for her number and she refused.
It wasn't disappointed (her loss, abundance mentality) and was proud of myself speaking to her and asking her for her number; many men wouldn't even dare doing the earlier let alone the latter.

Thanks for putting words over this.

TRP is a life changing experience.

icarusrex · 2016-10-05T09:47:28+00:00

I got a recommendation for The book: The 6 Pillars of Self-Esteem this weekend at a conference here is a quick youtube overview https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhuabY4DmEo

angryguy4444 · 2016-10-05T15:20:50+00:00

What the fuck? Upon discovering TRP, I thought that I should hate myself for being such a loser?

How would you change an inner dialogue like this :

"you are a piece of shit, look at what happened in college, you wasted 10 years of hard work", "you will never get anything right, and you were so promising when you were young", "you aren't even a man, you are fat, lazy, you are hopeless. You are addicted to porn and even though you tried quitting for 6 years you still aren't free from this shit. You spend all your days surfing the internet and you don't even have the will to change anything anymore. Kill yourself"etc.

PS : I have 3 years of martial arts practice, I'm in a band and we have already composed a few songs and I'm just majoring in engineering, so I have some successes but I have this pure hating inner dialogue which always success in convincing me that I'm an utter failure and that I should die.

MagmaiKH · 2016-10-05T05:55:57+00:00

Nope.

You undermine your credibility when you use hyperbole to describe the situation of someone else like that. It's condescending, it's a lie, and everyone saying it and hearing it knows it is a lie and that's why it wrecks frame.
Eventually that person really is going to make a positive change but when you tell him such he will not know to believe it because you have become a mindless positive encouragement sounding board. The shattering of that fake bubble of ego protection is how guys end up in this position.

This is a regurgitation of building faux self-esteem over building character. This misguides boys and prevents them from developing into men. This is exactly what we should be rooting out of society and making socially unacceptable.

To offer a seed of an alternative that avoids undermining everything TRP stands for - ask them questions about themselves and listen to the answers. I am comfortable claiming that all of your responses ought not be positive to everything you will hear. I am certain that I have done things that I should not be proud of and should not regard with a silver lining.

psycrabbit · 2016-10-04T19:15:15+00:00

Excellent advice and so strange how it coincides with a book I'm currently reading that deals with deciding how you want your mental state to be rather than waiting for things to happen. I always find interesting stuff in TRP but these self improvement threads are the best bits in my opinion.

2016-10-04T19:36:14+00:00

Hey do you have a book or source for this? Thanks for the post. I've heard of this before but this was good reminder.

Jax77789 · 2016-10-04T19:59:13+00:00

Think of what you are good at, of what you have now and remember a time when you laughed your ass off at something.

You will feel instantly better.

Waffle_squid · 2016-10-05T04:27:33+00:00

I love this post, this thread, everything about this. Right on man!

renzoken99 · 2016-10-05T06:49:51+00:00

This made me feel a rush of encouragement. To know that I'm trying and part of a group of guys who are improving themselves is a great feeling. Curious, any tips or habits to implement to really make positive self image/talk a habit?

Recioman · 2016-10-05T14:35:44+00:00

i'm sorry i don't get how this is different from hamstering

Hakametal · 2016-10-05T18:53:35+00:00

I wanna add to this if you don't mind.

Be thankful for getting your heart broken. Be thankful for the pain other people have cause you in your life. Be thankful for adversity. Be thankful for your journey. Pain is the greatest teacher in life, it's how we evolved. Pain is there for a reason, it's your body telling you that something is wrong.

Every human being should read Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. It will change your perception of life and your perception of suffering.

prodigy2throw · 2016-10-05T19:47:26+00:00

The beginning of fall is that time where you need to stay positive

likeasomebooody · 2016-10-06T01:09:58+00:00

That bit about their only being 200k pillers really resonates with me. I'm gonna hold onto that one.

Title	Developing unconditional positive regard for the self.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	443
Comments	54
Date	October 4, 2016 2:05 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/55tmpq/developing_unconditional_positive_regard_for_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/developing-unconditional-positive-regard-for-the.63470 https://theredarchive.com/post/63470

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