Discussed in my video today.

I found this post on Reddit.

It's not good. Luckily the guy is only 20 years old and has a lot of time to learn from his mistakes. He's young and hasn't been in a lot of relationships.

Post is here: https://archive.is/xuMF2

"My (20M) girlfriend (20F) of 8 months is asexual and I don’t know how to deal with it."

As soon as I read that I knew this post would be a doozy.

Then I read this: "She’s unbelievably perfect - funny, blisteringly intelligent, very caring and way way out of my league in attractiveness – so I was over the moon when she said she wanted to be more than friends with me."

The language he uses makes it seem like he's a straight fedora tipping gamma male, complete with neckbeard. Also you can see here the classic mistake of one-itis and lack of abundance mentality. This girl is "the one" in his eyes despite the fact that we know he's about to detail why she's "asexual."

Here is where it gets very interesting: "The ‘catch’ is that she’s asexual. She explained to me how she’s never felt sexual attraction, definitely not in the way she imagines other people do. This was a shock to me because I’d seen her get with other guys at clubs and go on dates etc, but she explained how that’s not mutually exclusive with being asexual. She told me she felt it might be ‘different’ with me and that she’d spoken to friends about how she might be attracted sexually towards me."

So she hooks-up with guys at clubs, and then tells the guy she's asexual.... what? I'm thinking this guy is some type of validation for her. She definitely doesn't get the tingles from her new "boyfriend" like she did from Chads at the club.

Honestly this post is really long and there is plenty more to indicate she is practically abusing this guy with sex denying if you read the post.

But I want to focus on something else: "The next month she stays round my home for 5 days during which we have sex every night. This then made me think things were changing, but over the next 3 months at uni we had sex 3 times when drunk. Again, I’ll reiterate that we’re going over to each other’s rooms every night and being very physical but she would always change when it started to escalate and would shut it down."

I'm thinking that the 5 days of actual sex he got was after a Chad told her to fuck-off. I can't think of any other reason she decided to actually treat him properly and only for so long. After the 5 days she felt disgusted by him again as the sex frequency once again dropped off a cliff.

The real kicker is this line: "Another element to add to this is that she started making fun of the size of my penis. At first, I laughed it off as we often make bad jokes to each other, but this started to really affect me when she also made a joke about how I’d never made her orgasm. I became really insecure about my size, even though I’m 16cm which I believe is in the average range. Even knowing this, I feel really humiliated writing about this - it’s difficult not to feel inadequate."

OK so the guy claims his gf is asexual but apparently has enough experience to know when a dick is too small for her and also has experience from other guys making her cum. I wish this guy would simply put 2 and 2 together. His GF is very experienced, has seen plenty of D to know a big or small one and also very experienced with orgasms.. enough to complain that he can't make her do it.

I'm gonna wrap it up with his TLDR: "TLDR: my girlfriend is asexual, we sometimes have sex but I don’t know how to deal with the infrequency, I feel guilty for feeling hurt. I also feel insecure about sex. We don't want an open relationship and breaking up with her is not really an option I'm considering."

He is so blinded by one-itis that he can't see how fucked up this chick is. He is blaming himself for feeling "guilty." But the worst part of all, he says breaking up is not an option. He's literally in college with a number of other girls that won't treat him like this and this is what he says.

One-itis is a hell of a drug. He is still really young though and there is hope that he can see the light if he figures things out soon. This all comes down to his low self-esteem and him thinking he's not good enough for her.

Lesson learned:

  • If your 'girlfriend' tells you she's 'asexual' its a huge red flag.
  • One-itis is a hell of a drug.
  • Know when to call it quits. In this case it should have been in the very beginning.