Don't let her change you. She doesn't know what she wants.

bludnthunder · 2013-07-18T14:05:14+00:00

There was a quote from Henry Ford, probably apocryphal but it still applies just the same - "If I had asked people what they wanted from me they'd have said a faster horse."

RedSunBlue · 2013-07-18T15:06:08+00:00

"Don't let her fag you up."

- Patrice O'Neal

redpillschool · 2013-07-18T13:20:18+00:00

Entirely true. Entirely true.

Absolutely true.

However, after the initial attraction phase- don't forget, sprinkling in some beta traits is actually a good thing.

The problem is when they detect too much alpha they may come to the conclusion that you really don't care. (and women will always want to try to get you to care, even if they don't really want the results.)

So I use the 1:5 rule. For every 5 nice things she does, I'll do one back.

That means I'll be a total dick, ignore messages, and do my thing.. but sometimes surprise her with something nice like a date. That keeps the hope alive that you can be changed.. but without the downside of actually changing.

Athol Kay writes about the positives of beta.

Remember: The perfect man is a blend of alpha and beta traits.

2013-07-18T14:45:25+00:00

There a neat TED talk with Malcolm Gladwell here about food research and the nature of happiness and choice. He makes the point that "the mind does not know what the tongue wants", i.e. what people think will make that happy may not be at all close to what will actually make them happy.

In the context of women, the mind very rarely knows what the coochie wants.

deathtech00 · 2013-07-18T15:16:32+00:00

Can you elaborate on how you tease her, and what about?

ss_camaro · 2013-07-18T18:17:12+00:00

I am doing my best to not merely ignore her terrible suggestions~~, but show them to her in the hopes of increasing self-awareness.~~

Be frugal with time.

PimpinLarge · 2013-07-18T13:50:28+00:00

I am doing my best to not merely ignore her terrible suggestions, but show them to her in the hopes of increasing self-awareness.

This is very noble but it doesn't work. Their brains are not wired for that.

And even if they could understand it, they still want it all to be a surprise and mysterious and so on.

As a man, you want rational explanations and to understand things. You yearn to share this knowledge with another mind.

But you are like a magician. She wants to be fooled; she doesn't want to know how the trick is done.

The only reason she will try to learn anything is to use it against you later.

Talk to your buddies instead.

30303030303030 · 2013-07-18T14:22:58+00:00

Women are always trying to change us. Once they succeed, we are not longer attractive to them.

Shagadelic21 · 2013-07-18T17:43:24+00:00

so true.. broke up with a girl of 1.5 years and thats how it was. She tried molding me into her "future husband" who is caring, forgiving, considerate... etc.. but what she really wants is a total dick that treats her like shit. goo thing i didn't let go of my friends like she wanted me to. She would always say "they are no goo for you, they are immature, all they do is drink and go out." she was a manipulative bitch. and im happy it's over. Im gonna miss the sex though.

theubercuber · 2013-07-18T20:21:40+00:00

[permanently deleted]

theubercuber · 2013-07-18T16:47:05+00:00

Exclusive for 2 months? Hate to break it to you, buddy, but you're not in a LTR. Also, nothing you said about her indicates that she isn't trying to put you in orbit. She could see beta provider potential in you no matter how much you make fun of her (its actually amusing to see you assuming that his fact alone will ensure she is LTR material.) If she doesn't meet the qualifications of a red pill LTR, its a matter of time before she riding other dicks to find her beta provider.

Ginlmin · 2013-07-18T18:14:23+00:00

In my experience, you will not please a woman by obeying or compromising with her. That's because a woman doesn't get security from what a man does for her, she gets it from what she does for him. Ideally, a man needs to keep a woman partly insecure in order to maintain her attraction for him; and, he needs to give her some security by letting her please him. In a "provider" role, the man furnishes the opportunity for her to please him, which in turn, gives her security. By continuing to enjoy his life outside of the relationship, a man demonstrates that he can be happy without her; this in turn gives her insecurity, which maintains her attraction to him. So, a man has got to do both for a woman to have security, and still be attracted to him. When a man gives up his life outside of the relationship, and a woman grows secure that way, her attraction and respect for him disappears, which in turn, removes her desire to please him. She may do a few token favors, but overall, he won't be pleased, and she won't feel very secure.

theubercuber · 2013-07-18T15:33:42+00:00

[permanently deleted]

YouDislikeMyOpinion · 2013-07-18T19:57:22+00:00

Invariably she says "Why are you extra mean today!" or "You're never this mean, what's wrong with you?".

This is where the relationship would end for me. Unless she said that with a cute smile while sucking my.

Honestly, I can't put up with that kind of stuff anymore, unless I'm moving bases, as in: she pulls that shit, and I go in for a kiss for the first time. Then I don't give a shit about it.

2013-07-18T19:33:59+00:00

Why not just lie and play along? How are you going to get your kids to believe in Santa Claus if you can't lie?

Title	Don't let her change you. She doesn't know what she wants.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	105
Comments	68
Date	July 18, 2013 12:42 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1ik00r/dont_let_her_change_you_she_doesnt_know_what_she/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/dont-let-her-change-you-she-doesnt-know-what-she.5613 https://theredarchive.com/post/5613

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