[FR] How I stopped giving a shit and started enjoying myself

detachedbymarriage · 2016-04-25T19:32:49+00:00

That was a good FR. Nothing extravagant or over the top. Just real.

The struggle to get from point A to point B get lost in a lot of the material. When you see the success stories and not the failures it took to get there, you have to wonder where you are screwing up.

Your post shows that struggle and gives a real time account of what it takes to move forward.

Good job.

Clint_Redwood · 2016-04-25T19:30:11+00:00

Not sure if you practice mindfulness or meditation but I'd strongly suggest you learn how to provoke emotions with visualization through meditation. You have a great and fresh experience to capitalize on this right now. Your body can't distinguish reality from fantasy and visualization exploits this to great effect.

Basically you induce a state by focusing on past experiences.

I've trained myself with triggers to induce charisma and being social. I use cold showers, focusing intently on a past experience where i killed it or focus on someone I know very well that is extremely charismatic. I'll visualize giving a kick ass motivational speech. Everyone is different, there are lots of different ways to do it but the effects are real.

If you are skeptical then there's a applicable example. If you were to put a virtual reality headset on and the game was you standing 500' in the air on a beam of a skycraper. Your heart rate would sky rocket. While your frontal cortex can tell itself it's not real, your body doesn't give a shit. Your eyes are interpreting danger and your body will react.

The same phenomenon can be applied to almost any visualization.

Every time you are about to go to a social gathering now you need to spend a good amount of time focusing on that entire 3 days. Focus on how you felt, how everyone was around you. How awesome it was that everyone talked about you. The smells, what everyone was wearing, your body language. Anything and everything you can. Just like VR, the more detailed the better.

A lot of charisma is how you currently feel. Your emotional state is projected through your body language and others interpret it and act accordingly. You have an awesome opportunity right now to capitalize on this.

ho-li-fuk · 2016-04-26T00:00:38+00:00

This is exactly how it starts. Being comfortable in your own skin. Breathe deep, and be in the moment. Smile, laugh, and realize that you'll be dead before you know it, and in 100 years, literally there will be nobody alive that gives zero fucks about you. You're free.

You are did exactly the right thing. Keep doing that. Push some of your own boundaries, but enjoy yourself.

I liked your post. Thanks for sharing.

paulwalkr · 2016-04-26T00:20:34+00:00

showing up and trying gets you most of the way there.

War2kali · 2016-04-26T02:12:51+00:00

You have two choices when attending a social function you fear or loathe. You can sulk in the corner and put off a vibe that no one should bother talking to you, be miserable, and waste your time, or you can be polite and talk and try to enjoy yourself. Pair this with the knowledge that you can learn something new and interesting from anyone on this planet, and your choice should be clear.

trumpisafaggybeta · 2016-04-26T03:18:14+00:00

If no one finds anything attractive about you, you need to work on physical appearance as well as sociability/game. If I had to guess, OP isn't in the best shape he can be in if he's not getting much attention on something like tinder

tallwheel · 2016-04-26T07:35:05+00:00

It's nice to see an FR every now and then that isn't bragging about how many sluts OP banged. There are people at various stages of TRP, and the importance of having a solid DGAF attitude can't be overstated.

Pewdielockz · 2016-04-25T18:55:05+00:00

I got problems with this too.

A month ago a friend of me dragged me to a birthdayparty from a girl I didn't even know. I usually don't to such things, but I just thought "fuck it, have fun." Well, the party was shit, the music was bad, and the people were so fcking unfriendly, or at least appeared like it. I didn't talk to much people, and it wasn't reall fun.

The last three weekends I was in a student club of our town university and I just drunk something with my friends and had a lot of fun.

I guess my problem is talking to strangers, even at parties.

masculinevirtue · 2016-04-26T10:25:12+00:00

Could be summarized as "Do whatever you want to do". Your not happy, don't smile. You do not find a joke funny, don't laugh. Want to dance, go dance.

LukeMooney · 2016-04-26T12:18:00+00:00

Absolutely loved this OP - I'm sitting at my desk in some open plan office with a smile on my face having read this victory report.

ScholarInRed · 2016-04-26T12:38:13+00:00

This, or at least the bottom 2/3, is a decent FR. More concise and real than dramatised or spruced up. Aside from the fact that you didn't follow the format requirements. Mods may come down on you. If they do you cannot complain.

But I take issue with this first section;

I read a lot of trp but honestly its frustrating and annoying when you almost never get the chance to apply what you've learnt. The chances are so few and far between that whenever you do get the chance there's so much pressure to remember how you're supposed to act and what you're supposed to do. I never enjoy the few times I do go to a party.

This is why you create chances for yourself. You don't sit around being annoyed that a chance didn't fall out of the sky and into your lap. Your execution of RP principles is good when you are in a social situation, but you've missed out on your obligation to actively seek and create opportunities for yourself to practice like this.

Address that and you're well on your way.

I'm nervous and I easily get anxious.

Careful of this phraseology. You will find it easier to improve in these areas if you start telling yourself instead that;

"I have always/often been nervous and have easily gotten anxious."

If you tell yourself this is the way you are, then you'll never be wrong. If you are more accurate and say this is how I have been historically, then you give yourself the chance to transcend and improve.

TheRealNevaziah · 2016-04-26T13:12:06+00:00

"Fear of Judgement"

The Judgement will remain, long after the fear is gone. If people want to judge you, they will, regardless of what you do.

You have found the answer young butterfly, do as you will and bring more joy onto the world.

esperanzablanca · 2016-04-26T05:01:03+00:00

tip: You can automatically swipe right on tinder using Flamite, or a Tasker task in your rooted phone. I get like 90 matches per week, then I filter those I dont like...

traversecity · 2016-04-26T05:18:51+00:00

Old guy guy here, more MRP than TRP, went to a Passover dinner this week, your FR could be mine. 5 married couples, same story. We've met the other couples once or twice over the past three years, forgot their names. Had a great time, totally IDGAF ... Had a great time, think we have new friends now. A little worried because one of the other wives seems way too interested in me!

bluedrygrass · 2016-04-26T08:42:14+00:00

That's not HOW you stopped. You just did it. That's a clickbait title

rakov · 2016-04-26T03:26:13+00:00

Not sure what should I learn from it. Beginning was totally something I can relate to, but then... so your friend called you to his wedding and it changed everything, okay. I don't have friends, so that's not an option for me. Then follows generic "do your thing and don't care about people liking you, and people will like you", that I hear ten times a day, the only thing I want to do at party is to leave so not an option again.

Title	[FR] How I stopped giving a shit and started enjoying myself
Author	tall_rock_shelf
Upvotes	199
Comments	39
Date	April 25, 2016 6:33 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/4gepcp/fr_how_i_stopped_giving_a_shit_and_started/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/fr-how-i-stopped-giving-a-shit-and-started.57982 https://theredarchive.com/post/57982

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