Rebuilding myself with the help of TRP for 2 years. First post.

 

Met this young hb8 tattooed hottie at a lounge over the weekend. She was in a big city for a concert and visiting from suburbia. She didn’t have the typical city girl taint. She was giving me the signals on the dancefloor, then she came next to me and I started talking to her. I know how to read go cues well enough (thank you trp) so I escalated quickly on every cue and her and I were making out in 10 minutes. New record for me.

 

For context all this happens while her 3 obese orbiters that drove her and bought her drinks watched and finally walked away when we started making out. Felt their pain but moving on.

 

Few minutes later we're on the dancefloor and my hand is in her crouch etc. We exchange info. Next day she flatters me with compliments and asks when we'll meet. I tell her soon. Last night I tell her to meet me tonight for a drink near my place. A 45 min+ drive for her.

 

She says yes. I send the bar info. A few hours before meet up she messages me asking about having dinner before drinks. This plus a few things she said at the bar trigger my gold digger/provider senses. I don't do dinners with women. Drinks only and we take turns on buying rounds. I tell her no, I'm cool with just drinks. She responds with something like "guess it's just one".

 

I've had quite a few girls brutally reject me when I don't comply to their dinner request so fuck it. I say cool and stop messaging. (Edit: Since there's been a few comments here I stopped messaging because I thought that was her flaking/rejecting/ditching me.) I get one of my plates to come over instead. Thank you trp.

 

After my plate and I finish I notice my messages. The girl showed up and was waiting for me at the bar. Worse, she waited over an hour before leaving. A few hours later she tells me I really hurt her. Holy shit. Remember she's barely drinking age and is young.

 

I immediately think fuck, did I just break her heart, did I just become the guy in her life to completely fuck her over. I think, I have to fix this shit asap. I can't let her feel this way. All her insecurities are probably surfacing and making her feel like a fool. She’s probably crying into her teddy bear hating herself and life. I’m now that asshole all beta orbiters hate who hurt their little oneitis!

 

Then I stop...wtf bro. Okay, it was fucked up but...this is the story girls tell their orbiters right before they say "he hurt me so muuuuch but, then I met him the next day and sucked his dick after anal and he came on my face." Those were the stories I heard from my oneitis girls in my former blue pill years.

 

I haven’t responded. The thought of her breaking up inside is bothering my blue pill self but at the same time, her saying “hurt feelz” part also feels like a shit test to me. What chick actually says that to a man? Also I know women don’t really feel the same way we do. She’ll suck some dick tomorrow and forgot about it or cry to an emotional tampon orbiter and shake it off. Remember she has a fuck ton of tattoos.

 

I’ll probably reply tomorrow with something about it being a misunderstanding in a way were I don’t apologize but also don’t assume she ditched me. I really don’t have a response yet that doesn’t sound beta or apologetic so we’ll see. Although I want to respond tonight and fix this for her a stronger sense is telling me no. Never do things to avoid guilt and to “be nice”.

 

The reason I’m posting this is because I feel I allowed my recent bad experiences with gold digging provider seeking women to cloud my judgment. I immediately went negative and dark at her simple response and assumed she meant the worst.

 

I didn’t realize I had let myself become this negative. And now I unintentionally hurt this chick that I really vibed with and was excited to see and had puppy dog dinner bowl eyes for me. I wanted to plate her hot ass.

 

As I've swallowed the red pill I know it can be bitter and the anger phase is fucking hell but, once we’ve built our value and can pull women we have to start leaving some of those insecurities behind otherwise they’ll fuck up real genuine opportunity. Field reports are about learning from other people’s mistakes and successes. So here was mine.

 

Td;lr, pulled a hottie, made date with hottie, accidentally stood up hottie, banged a different plate anyway, feel a bit guilty about hottie.

Edit: formatting

Update: She messaged me a few more times today about how it was fucked up and she usually doesn't "make a big deal" about these things but that I wasted her time. Holy shit, I think I sent a few of those messages in my beta days. I still haven't responded. If I do I'm leaning towards u/redpillrobby and u/fresha69's recommendations. Better than the blue pill shit I thought of.