This just went down this week. Rather delightful looking woman, 41, met on a dating site. We set up the date, and as 8 o'clock was rolling around, was getting ready to leave for the rendezvous. I decided to verify everything with her, even though she'd acknowledged the date much earlier in the day.

And good thing I did. Here's the basic messaging that occured:

Her: Oh! I decided to make dinner for my girls (this is 15 minutes before we are to meet).

Me: No worries, another time (although in my head, it's "nope - not with that kind of disrespect).

Her: You should come over. We can pretend to already know each other (for my girls).

Me: No, I'm not comfortable with that.

Her: Or, you can drive here, and I'll come out to the car and we can talk. (my WTF meter is going crazy at this point).

Me: No, another time.

Her: (various cajoling)

Me: No.

Her: Ok

My own policy is that while emergencies happen, and that's fine, when somebody just willfully ignores the agreement, and obviously is showing disrespect of this kind, that it is a shit test of massive proportions. And I've even told a few of these types directly, such as when they arrive 20 minutes late, no message about being late. I wait 20 minutes, tops, and if they arrive, I tell them their disrespect is unacceptable, and that there will be no date. I tell them very specifically that not telling about a change of plans is the reason.

The upshot? None of the 3 I've had to do this with ever gave me any flak about it, or pushed back. They all just looked ashamed. As they should.