Ah, the classic observation from which at least one person learned the name of a part of their penis. But is it true? Do we think too much with the wrong head? And if it is true, does this actually bother women, or is it one of those things that they complain about but actually like? What should we think about this claim? Is this part of what is considered "toxic masculinity"?

Gentlemen, after examining the issue thoroughly, I have bad news: It's true. True and getting worse. More men than ever are thinking with the wrong head and behaving poorly around women, resulting in failed interactions and more unhappy people than there needs to be, especially men.

Let's consider one such incident. John had noticed Anne a couple times and thought she was cute. He struck up a conversation and asked her out. She seemed pleased to accept. Dinner was pleasant, they were relaxed, and there was some light flirting. After he walked Anne to her car he gave her a friendly hug, and got a very warm hug in return. He had the moment to kiss her, and she didn't seem uninterested, but John wanted to be a gentleman and not be too aggressive on the first date. He was pleased the date went so well.

Their second date was even better. She really seemed into him. When he dropped her off at home she invited him inside to watch some TV, but John knew she worked early the following day and didn't want to impose, so he politely declined. John was never able to get ahold of her for a third date, which puzzled him since the first two had gone so well.

Two frustrated people, all because John was thinking with the wrong head.

Another example. Kid goes to a rave, chick is all over him. He somehow manages to avoid escalating. Next day she mentions how horny she is. When someone asks the kid why he didn't fuck her on rave night, this was his “reasoning”:

I would have but the logistics really sucked since I was an hour from home in no condition to drive and I doubt the lesbian was gonna be cool with me smashing on her couch lol.

This lad may not even know that he has a penis! Not only was he thinking with the wrong head, he was actually thinking with a vagina--and a lesbian vagina at that! Look how skewed his priorities become without some rational cock brain.

Finally, we have Brian. Brian has always been on the thin side. When he sees guys in good shape, something stirs in him and he wants that, he wants to be more muscular. He's not even sure why. He doesn't particuarly need to be stronger, but he doesn't particularly like being thin. It's always in the back of his mind, but it's not important enough to take action and start working out. By thinking with the wrong head, Brian will live an okay life, have some sex, get married. But he could have had a man's body, and all the benefits that go along with it, if he'd just listened to the proper head.

ooo

How did it come to this? Why do we have two heads, and why aren't they always on the same page?

For that answer we need to check with evolution. We all know that TRP's approach to sexual strategy has a foundation in evolution. Everyone has heard this story many times, so I'll just summarize:

When man originally evolved, he only had the one head. This worked out perfectly, since populating the earth was first order of business in the early days. But gradually a problem emerged. The larger population meant more girls to fuck. A LOT more. And tragically, men started dying from exhaustion. They were not eating or resting enough, because their head only knew how to fuck.

So the Evolution Committee met to decide what path evolution would take. Ultimately they decided to give man another head, and this head would help coordinate feeding, resting, and other minor tasks. They put this second head higher than the main head, on man's shoulders, so that it could see its environment better. This was a soft and squishy head, and it could only perform basic functions, which was all they needed it for. It was never supposed to be used to answer important questions. You still got your important reproductive guidance from the good head, and that was the important stuff. All was good again in the land of men.

We all know what happened next. The second head grew in size and ability, until fast-forward to today, it's now the primary head that men use, for better or for worse. The dickhead is slowly being forgotten. With the marriage unit breaking down, many boys don't even get the Two Heads talk with their father. Many guys don't even know which is their primary head! And they certainly don't know how to listen to it.

Let's talk about your head. Here are the basics.

  • Only knows one word: "Fuck." Luckily that word has enough permutations that communication is simple. Just don't expect the loquaciousness of the minor head, which can talk itself in circles if you let it.
  • Only knows one goal: Fucking.
  • Only has three interests: More fucking; better fucking, and attractive candidates for fucking.
  • Only is aware of one thing: Fucking. If you offer it something that has nothing to do with sex, your cockhead won't even register its existence.
  • Despite its simplicity, your head will never let you down. It is unerringly correct, and will always rise to the occasion. Never question its judgement.

That's it. Easy peasy. A lot of guys actually do hear their main head, they just can't always tell it apart from the second head, which is noisier and often confusing. Sometimes a simple exercise is all that's needed for guys to identify the voice of their oldest head, and they can take it from there.

Here is the exercise. Get naked and put your pasty body in front of a full-length mirror. This body is your fucking device. You only get one. This is what decides the quantity and the quality of your sex life, among other things. Your body is the physical manifestation of the importance you place on fucking.

Now ask your wise head its opinion. If you don't lift it will probably say, "Fuuck." And that's it. You know what you have to do now. The one-eyed oracle has spoken. You will have the urge to bust out 50 push-ups right there. There is no avoiding the truth, and truth demands action. If you find your focus waning, get back in front of that mirror and have your cock sort you out.

Or maybe you're on a date and hesitating to escalate. Go in the restroom, take out your head and ask it what to do. Never hurts to have a reminder.

ooo

So what's the deal with our shouldered fathead? Why can't it give perfect advice like the first one?

Two main problems. In order so that this head could keep track of eating and sleeping, they gave it the ability to "think". And to help it think more efficiently, they also gave it "reason." It was all downhill from there. If we know anything about ourselves, it's that our thinking and reasoning abilities are utter shit. So inefficient, it's often better to just avoid the process altogether.

Go back to the scene in front of the mirror. We're going to ask our soft head the same question we put to our cockhead, but this time I want you to try and write down what it comes up with. There might be a lot. Okay, go.

See what I mean? This head is all over the fucking place! We could have filled volumes with the thoughts that flowed from this simple question, and they came and went at light speed. But the important thing is… was your question answered?

It was sort of answered. You did hear the correct answer ("Lift!") at times, but it was just mentioned in passing, with qualifiers, not as a hard conclusion. "Yeah, I should work out, IF..." Furthermore it also included information we didn't need or ask for… such as obstacles to working out, and why working out isn't the best thing you can do for you health, excuses we could use if we decided not to work out at all, and--

What the fuck? We don't need all that shit! We need simple answers that lack ANY ambiguity. Only one head gives you that.

Had that rave kid asked the correct head on rave night what he should do, the answer would have been something like... "FUCK!" Instead, he asked his wobblehead, and remember the shitvomit answer it produced? One more time:

I would have but the logistics really sucked since I was an hour from home in no condition to drive and I doubt the lesbian—oh shut the fuck up

This is a process, especially if you've gotten used to dealing with the retarded head. At first you'll have to focus in order to hear your good head and get your marching orders. But you'll recognize it. It's the one giving you straight answers with no bullshit, and the answers are always an action. You cannot think your way into sex. And since none of other other bullshit is included, you will find yourself compelled to act. If the advice is true, and no alternative is offered, action is your only response. Conclusions from your soft head are so filled with alternatives and downsides and all kinds of distracting noise that you may get around to action, but you might get so wrapped up in all the details that you forget the action part. Keep It Sexual, Stupid.

But don't ask the ancient mind between your legs if you cannot fulfill the answer it gives. Be worthy of your dick. An ignored dick is a quiet dick, and you'll find yourself back on AskTRP in no time, asking for a good "first move" to use on a bitch who you think "might like me", and who, obvious to everyone except you, wants to fuck you so bad that she's practically having panic attacks. Your head knows, but you have to use it.

So next time you sit down to play a few hours of video games… next time a girl smiles at you… next time you're wondering how to act on a date… next time you half-ass it at the gym… next time you're wondering if you should kiss her or not… next time you're buying clothes… next time you see a hottie… next time you want more sex in your life... use your head. The right one. See what he thinks about what you’re doing. If you got distracted and aren't in fuck mode, he'll remind you. If there's a path to sex anywhere in the vicinity, he'll find it. Or see if it thinks you could be doing something else more advantageous. More closely aligned with your professed desire for women. Your professed desire for progress. Keep it simple and avoid softbrain thinking. You are a sexual being all the time, not just sometimes. This is a way to remind yourself.