Happiness is internal

CopperFox3c · 2015-05-31T17:41:54+00:00

The key part is really understanding that even if you "get the hot girl", she is not "yours". She is just yours for a while. And happiness can't be built on expectations otherwise.

All relationships will end, either thru departure or death or something else. Like everything else in life, they are ephemeral. Things come and go. You cannot hold them. You cannot possess them. They were there for a time, but they were never yours. Value the time you had, but never put anything on a pedestal.

edwardhwhite · 2015-05-31T19:57:08+00:00

Also, happiness is fleeting. One of the biggest flaws of men is that they are always looking for a place of rest, where they can stop competing and get a few moments off. Sadly, they expect to have this while still getting laid.

The fact is there is no place of rest unless you make it and don't have women involved. So better to acknowledge that this is a life-long fight that nature has dealt us.

So enjoy the happiness while it lasts, 10 minutes from now you could feel like shit. This is the default position of humans. Being able to work with that is the key. Still on goal whatever your mood at the time.

rp_valiant · 2015-06-01T13:53:33+00:00

I find the idea of muffin crumbs falling into this girl's hair while she's sucking your balls and you're happily munching away on some fresh muffins far too funny. This is the beauty of being completely outcome independent: you can just have fun with it and have no desire to pander to any girl's inflated ego or emotional tantrums. Black knighting at its best.

Temptationn · 2015-05-31T20:48:46+00:00

The point: this was a NORMAL day for me. I didn't feel any happier than I would have had I woken up and it was sunny.

Same. Ever since trp when I have sex the next day just feels like a normal day. When my other friends have sex they're all happy and stuff the next day like they won a prize. I never understood why I don't get the same excitement as others, when it comes to sex. I use to have to really try to get laid, it felt better because it felt like I had to work for it and not just handed. Sorta like money if you was handed $500 for free you would go out and buy stuff you've been wanting as to if you had worked for that $500 you'd be way more cautious on how you spend it.

Consider this: 'if you give a girl the power to break your heart, she will every single time.' (A recent thought of mine)

Never give her that power, when dating a girl think of her as part of the band. When the band breaks up they keep playing maybe not together but they move on either go solo or find a new band.

"Bands come and go, you gotta keep on playing, no matter with who."

iLLprincipLeS · 2015-05-31T17:42:15+00:00

I wish all men who put women on a pedestal could have the 'girl of their dreams' worship them, just so they could realise that its not the answer.

so what the answer is then? to live the same story over and over again until.. ? happiness is internal meaning that even if you are happy with her you don't.. hmm.. share or show that happiness?

also i am curious how it ended, how exactly did she break your heart? there is an expiry date to every relationship?

johnnywahd · 2015-05-31T19:23:20+00:00

Schopenahuer and Buddhism both address the happiness problem. I'd recommend The World as Will and Idea or Essays and Aphorisms from Schopenahuer. Lots of great wisdom about life in there. And for the Buddhist take on happiness I'd recommend The Dhammapada. Deep and profound insights.

Philosophy will do wonders for lots of people.

tygertiger · 2015-06-01T03:56:37+00:00

Happiness is ephemeral and fleeting, like all emotions. That so many people pursue happiness as a permanent state (something that is impossible) is why so much unhappiness exists. The delusion is so strong it's even written into the Constitution! No, the goal is inner peace. Be at peace internally and happiness becomes an enjoyable, temporary state. One you know won't last, so you don't give it any more importance that any other emotional state (which you also know won't last, either). Observe your emotions. Feel them as much as you can. Watch as they stay for a period and then dissipate as another takes its place. All the while, deeper than the emotions (which are always triggered by your thoughts), your core is a foundation of inner peace that can never be shaken. This is power.

freethinker34 · 2015-05-31T23:21:52+00:00

Great post. Happiness is internal. All relationships are finite, remember that and never become overly attached.

1NV0K3R · 2015-06-01T12:28:57+00:00

For the longest time I thought having the "top ten" "woman of my dreams" "the perfect woman" "the girl who's into all the same shit I am" "if I had a girl who would do this with me" etc etc would make me happy.

It doesn't. Oh sure, it helps become a driving force. But it itself is not the key.

You are the only one who can make yourself happy.

deargdragon · 2015-06-01T15:26:09+00:00

Man, I wish I could relate to this. It's like you're describing how water will only quench a thirst and is a regular thing that shouldn't be the be all end all of life to a man who's been without a drink in the desert for months. I keep thinking it must come down to a strong sense of self, a good amount of game, and having your life in order. Being honest with myself, I'm still working on undoing the nice guy paradigms I used to operate under and still do to some extent. There's actually a physical feeling of dissonance when I go against the conditioning still. My game is meh to "some days I get lucky" and my life is definitely not in order. What clicked with me about your post is that I hear this advice all the time on here. "Be happy with yourself, the sex isn't the most important part," but I've also had the thought many times of "if I could get that amazingly beautiful woman, then life would be killer." So what did you do to change to get to where you are now? How long did it take to get there? What did you work on first?

nemaxofredpill · 2015-06-01T18:19:13+00:00

Consider this: 'if you give a girl the power to break your heart, she will every single time.' (A recent thought of mine)

Recently had a LTR give me the break up talk. You know the whole, I think we need time to ourselves, and yada yada. After her spill, she asked me what I was thinking. My response: "I wonder how good that new Jurassic Park Blizzard is at DQ." And then I got up and left with her chasing me.

Her face was priceless when she realized that I gave 0 fucks.

She still hits me up but I have already nexted her.

BurgundyCarpet · 2015-06-02T05:35:41+00:00

I wish all men who put women on a pedestal could have the 'girl of their dreams' worship them, just so they could realise that its not the answer. And also, to see how a girls love that is convincingly unconditional is actually paper thin, and as soon as you give them power over you it disappears.

So fucking well put. Great writing and great insight dude.

dr_warlock · 2015-05-31T20:41:24+00:00

When I think of an ideal relationship, I think of Vegeta and Bulma from DBZ. The only thing Vegeta cares about is his mission to be the greatest fighter to ever exist; nothing else matters. He gives absolutely zero fucks about Bulma unless her life is in eminent danger, often times not even that. She is at the very most a tag along.

silvertongue35 · 2015-05-31T23:00:33+00:00

I think most feelings other than amused mastery should be internalized. It is like an impenetratable armor that nobody can pierce. It is stoicism at it's peak.

pedler · 2015-06-01T03:17:33+00:00

Im a fan of this mentality and i have to repeat it every day. I have some health issues that started a year ago, but thankfully im starting to get better. Still, i find happiness in simlle things, even if i cant work or go to social events, do sports, i can do some of my hobbies and that makes me happy.

alreadyredschool · 2015-05-31T22:30:54+00:00

You decide if you want to be happy.

D_andreaWorkin · 2015-05-31T22:31:13+00:00

Think of the power of breaking a heart. Especially when we consider women's dualistic mating strategy--how after snagging an alpha, they try to beta-tize him--and it becomes obvious how breaking a heart is the ultimate finishing combo on someone who doesn't provide the tingles anymore.

If you know you can break someone, the fact that they will pine after you still is an ego-booster. And ego-boosting is pretty much all a guy is good for if he doesn't give a girl the tingles.

Sorry about your loss OP. I hope you pick yourself up quickly and become better than you ever were.

Title	Happiness is internal
Author	Meninismx
Upvotes	54
Comments	40
Date	May 31, 2015 5:07 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/37z4px/happiness_is_internal/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/happiness-is-internal.33125 https://theredarchive.com/post/33125

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