Here's a challenge, how about some RP advice for LTR/Married men.

Veldashok · 2015-02-07T12:36:28+00:00

Five years into an extremely successful five year LTR, and I can honestly say that we've kept the passion going pretty steadily the whole way through. We live together, have sex most nights, and share many parallels of interests and habits. We are both very happy and, despite that she reads red pill frequently, and that we talk about it regularly: our success is largely because I know what I want and I use hypergamy to my advantage in every way I can.

I'm going to write a series of posts on LTR starting tomorrow, because I've wanted to contribute back into this sub. I'm sure a few of my ideas will be great materials for discussions and disagreements. Look for the first post tomorrow. It will be multiple posts but I haven't drawn an outline yet.

Tropper01 · 2015-02-07T10:03:12+00:00

There are no easy fixes. Maybe read some of /u/archwinger's top posts. That dude's married.

Really I'd recommend reading some of the blogs instead. rationalmale is probably ideal, in that while he doesn't give advice directly to people in your circumstance, he discusses a whole range of topics which are probably applicable to you. The downside is it's a hell of a lot to read. The upside is that if you're not willing to read it, you're wasting your time here anyway.

Science_isthenewcool · 2015-02-07T09:54:15+00:00

Look up, captain/first mate dynamic.

You are the captain of the ship and she is your first mate. You are the leader and the buck stops with you. So you take responsibility for your actions and your family and steer the course of the ship/relationship. She still has her own responsibilities and on the odd occasion you are unavailable/otherwise occupied, she takes over while you are in absentia.

So time to start being the captain, never say I don't know or I don't care, if there is any other option possible. It's better to make a decision that's good and not necessarily perfect immediately, than dither around and make no decision at all.

You need to be strong mentally and physically, responsible, sensible, sexy and also trustworthy for her to look up to you as a leader and a man of the family, her man.

You need to inspire her to come along with you on your journey of life, so you work as a team, but you are a man with a vision, an idea, a mission and goals she complements you and helps you achieve them. You provide, inspire, lead, improve, nurture, council, care for and complement her.

It can sound difficult, tiring, laborious. It is, being an admirable man of worth/substance, ambition, skills/talents and leading/providing for a family is hard work. If it was easy, everybody would have the perfect marriage, where she is always appreciative of you, attracted to you, loving, caring, loyal and trustworthy and happy. But as we all know that is extremely uncommon in today's day and age.

Camille11325 · 2015-02-07T17:33:48+00:00

/u/occamsusername wrote an entire series for TRP on LTRs that you can find by looking through his user history. Its a great read so definitely check it out. Also keep in mind that game works on wives and girlfriends just as it does on plates and one night stands. Of course the balance between alpha and beta traits is different within a committed relationship, but don't discount the material on this sub (and throughout the mansophere) because it doesn't directly label itself as for LTRs.

meet_me_at_high_noon · 2015-02-07T18:12:22+00:00

I'm in a LTR (5 years) and have a kid and a house, though we aren't married. But we might as well be.

So here's the thing, we've been sort of traditional from the get go. When I went on my first date with her, we were at dinner, and I told her outright I'm not buyng you dinner, so we are clear. She looked surprised but said okay.

I told her at every big life decision that she needed to do certain things (get her license, get a job, get a better job, get a house) etc. So I guided her to make the right choices. Her parents sheltered her and all that stupid bullshit so I had to get her out of her shell.

Underneath the shell there's a really funny, compassionate loving and outgoing personality, but she was so sheltered that it was hard to bring out.

So all that happened, and then when it came to making big decisions, I made sure I had a better paying job than her so when it came to making the big decisions, I had leverage. This helped.

But above all else, what I've found beyond all the twists and turns is that working out, daring to make big decisions (her parents didnt want us to buy a house, but fuck them I did it anyway) and being a rock (when she cries over things that are out of our control, I don't coddle her, I tell her, stop crying, we can't control it, why get upset and she usually calms down and realizes Im right, and then I can sit down and hold her once shes reasonable and Im not feeding into it) has made our relationship work.

here's the thing-in a LTR some of the rules can apply. IMHO it's not right to have plates if you really love this girl and you've been together and built a life together. You also can't be in a LTR if you are unwilling to give at all. You can't ignore your SO when she's in pain. You don't feed it, you don't acknowledge that it's okay to be over emotional, but you also have to find a way to get her to calm down. It's a balancing act between that younger version of yourself where you were strong and independent, but also knowing that as a father and a Pseudo husband (if you aren't married but might as well be) you need to be the rock and be steady, even when the electric bill is too high and the car breaks or someone loses a job.

If you do it right, the independence and strength you display as a young man can turn into steadiness and resolve as an older, wiser man.

MasterBaiterX · 2015-02-07T15:08:58+00:00

You know if you click the LTR thing at the top of the screen it shows you all the posts tagged under it right?

There's a ton of them. I don't know where you're seeing PUA threads though, most PUA is frankly retarded.

whatsazipper · 2015-02-07T15:35:44+00:00

For men thinking about marriage: Don't get marreid.

List on the tangible benefits and costs, suspend fairy tales, emotions, and other people shaming you about it.

Costs. Benefits. Cold reality.

Realistically, if that's the type of life you'd like to explore, stick with LTRs and always keep some back up plates warm. If you aren't prepared to cut off a woman immediately, then you're never prepared to deal with one indefinitely.

Roughknot · 2015-02-07T11:07:00+00:00

Firstly who said PUA doesn't work with a wife. It works in marriage as well as picking up new girls.

Go to the Married Red Pill subreddit first, the sidebar it designed for marriage / LTR blokes.

Second read posts by the mods at Married Red pill.

Third do the shit you read about and don't sit on your hands and do nothing!

Finally always be lifting! Now get to gym and fucking lift.

R4F1 · 2015-02-07T08:44:52+00:00

There's resources on the sidebar, including topics like Dread Game, and sister subs like /r/askTRP where you're supposed to be asking these questions.

Title	Here's a challenge, how about some RP advice for LTR/Married men.
Author	LMGulf
Upvotes	1
Comments	29
Date	February 7, 2015 8:18 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2v2qrt/heres_a_challenge_how_about_some_rp_advice_for/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/heres-a-challenge-how-about-some-rp-advice-for.28870 https://theredarchive.com/post/28870

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