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[–]NazoXIII14 points15 points16 points 8 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Brother, if I were you I'd be thankful that all I lost was a 5 month relationship. What you're feeling right now will heal in due time. But you'll never move forward thinking about it and doing nothing with it. There's gotta be something else in the last ten months that was more of a use for your time.
[–]Mailman7[S] -1 points0 points1 point 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I took up piano lessons (something I always wanted to learn) and I started my own business. That has been great. But I feel like I am just going through the motions with it. I have always been a relatively up beat and positive guy and not much really gets me down, but this girl has really left her mark on me. Ever since the breakup I feel like I have been in this fog, especially since finding out she was pregnant. Which makes me think I might be in some kind of depression. It's pathetic haha. I wake up thinking about her and then spend the rest of the day wrestling with my thoughts. Then when I do go out to find "plenty more fish in the sea", it's troll city and I go home even more depressed. It's crazy.
[–]trpingthroughtime4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Take comfort knowing what you're experiencing is relatively common. With TRP, you'll not only get through it, you'll become the best version of yourself, and have access to hotter and more interesting chicks than your ex. Google "Rollo Tomassi Children with Dynamite".
[–]WaterHound1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The mind is a tricky thing. There's been a pattern to your suffering: "All the girls I see out there are trolls..."
Is it really the relationship or the body that you miss so much? I also have that one ex with whom I have very great memories of. But I also know that those memories are magnified because she was the most attractive one of the bunch of women I've dated.
If I compared the sex life between "The One" and other girls I've been with, "The One" wasn't the wildest or even the most satisfying or the kinkiest. She just ticked the most boxes.
So even three years later, she's the one I remember or think about, even though immediately after her I was with someone that was FAR more sexually adventurous and satisfying with me.
And the relationship, like yours, ended under equally dubious reasons; there was someone else. The end. All prior passion just went poof with little to no warning.
Just realize that while you shared good memories, it's mostly your libido that's motivating you, not pure romantic intentions. Lesser girls aren't toying with your memories with the same fervor, I suspect.
[–]0signal01 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
5 months is nothing, man. Is this your first relationship? Notice you say "dating", which sounds very casual. You are probably idealizing a woman who never felt anything trascendental for you.
she was Spanish
Lmao dude, you mean Latina or an actual Spanish woman from Spain? In either case, you dodged a huge bullet. I tell you that as a Latino. Feel glad you aren't the unfortunate SOB who has to pay 18 years of child support to her and watch her transition from young lass to a walking burrito with a terrible attitude.
You won. You just don't know it. Feel free to send me a PM if you want to talk this out.
[–]beta_bud8 points9 points10 points 8 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Dude. She is pregnant. Thank the fucking heavens you don't have to be in that situation. You know what that dude is going through right now? Hell, seriously.
You made out dude, big time. You get to live your life however the fuck you want to without a kid in the picture. How do you not see this?
[–]NazoXIII1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I know OPs post is kind of dreary, but a moment of silence for the guy who knocked up OPs ex, couldn't have been seeing her for a few months and he's already lost the game.
[–]Mailman7[S] 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I think the trouble is, I am a bit older now (recently hit 30), and the idea of a child doesn't entirely scare me like it once did. I know I've probably got another 5-10 years to make that happen if I want and live like a boss up until then, but goddamn a little Spanish child with her wouldn't have been the end of world.
I also think my ego took a massive hit. I see this dickhead with "my" girl living the life I could have had and it drives me nuts.
[–]PillTheRed3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That is a dangerous mentality. You need to work on changing that kind of thinking. I COULD have won the lottery yesterday. However, I'm not going to wallow about it today and be depressed.
It seems like you think you need a woman to be complete. Like, you know something is missing, and assume it is love. The problem with that is women are incapable of loving you the way you want to be loved. They love opportunistically and meterially. You need to read women in love on the sidebar. Basically, that longing feeling you have will never be filled by a woman, and many die holding to thile belief it can and will. Men are the hopeless romantics, not women. Your story is a perfect example of that. You need to go monk for awhile and work on you, and you alone. You are tying your well being to how someone else percieves you, and that will never end well.
Also, you have a good twenty years to have kids if you stay in shape. Are you lifting regularly? I'd recommend a linear progression program if not. Starting strength is usually the recommended plan for beginners.
Here's the thing. If you aren't willing to put the work in, you might as well get used to feeling the way you are now. You can't do nothing, and expect any positive change.
[–]Mailman7[S] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm looking dangerous mentality in the rear view mirror and cruising well into depressed-ville.
Here's the crazy thing. I've been lifting since I was 18 (I'm not jacked, but definitely in shape), I've been following RSD since I was 23/24. I've read most of the recommended self help books. I've worked on myself pretty relentlessly. Being an introvert doesn't help and I let myself down by not taking enough action, but even still, I can attest to this stuff actually working. Even after all of that I still fell into this trap!
[–]beta_bud0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Im 32, man. Tons of life to live. Believe me, 30 is the new 20.
[–]Cato-The-Elder5 points 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
5 months is nothing. Some people end 15 year relationships - imagine trying to get over that. I ended a 5 year relationship recently. I was over it within a few months. It's not hard if you stay focused on your mission.
If part of that mission is having a good girlfriend that complements you, then find a nice girl with better qualities than the last one. They're out there.
You'll be fine. You're probably still hung up on her after 10 months because you're indulging your chemicals by visiting her social media - stop doing that dude.
And cut some fat - you can always be leaner. The effects on your mental health are immense.
[–]AncientScrolls3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
For some reason I just can't seem to get over my ex no matter how much I try. I don't know what is wrong with me. I feel like I have spiraled into depression. Feel free to tell me how beta I am.
I know its easier said than done. But the best way to get over an ex is just to focus on your life increase your SMV, find activities that will make you more manly like lifitng, sports and other hobbies to occupy your mind until you find another really good looking women to hit on.
I have been in your shoes once. However the story was a little bit different. 2 Years ago I started dating a girl in my college I was really in love with her. But then she cheated on me with one of the leaders of a local Fraternity in my Campus. I knew the redpill before this. But it was only when this happened that I used all the rage and anger that was in my heart to rebuild myself(I think that was when I hit the rock-bottom and really swallowed the redpill and started seeing women and the world for what they really are). I started lifting, playing sports, becoming more outgoing/social and I´m about to start a business on the internet. The path to improvement is hard but its worth it. There is light in the end of the tunnel.
You better ask about personal questions in AskTRP.
[–]thr0w4w4yaway 1 points1 points1 points 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Not OP, but since your answer is reasonable and helpful (which is sometimes lacking here) I'd like to ask you for advice.
I have been working on my SMV for the last year. I got my clothes fixed, lifted regularly and am now in shape (have a baby 6pack, but i am not big though), I did many career and confidence boosting things and I am so far ahead of my past self, its no joke. I always feel I am one of the coolest guys in the room if not the best one. I can walk up to a girl I like and be direct, under the right circumstances.
But holy f, nothing ever happens. Im in my last year at a small university in a middle eastern country, and have been rather antisocial up until trp, my circle is of nerd guys, can't really attend club events because i dont live on campus, tinder doesnt work (m:f ratio insane) and is perceived as degrading.
I worry i will stick my d into something wrong and have it broken. What to do? Also going through busy times, could be better f i didnt care, but I hate not having any females around to please myself.
[–]AncientScrolls1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Well I´d say you will have to make the conversation sexual and flirt from the beginning dont approach them and have a casual friendly conversation otherwise you will end friendzoned. You always need to tease, flirt and even mock in a friendly way. It takes sometimes to master those things and sometimes it backfires but the more you do the better you will get at it. At least thats how things worked for me. I´m not sure you can do those things in your culture due to the differences in our cultures. But thats how it worked for me.
When I got cheated by my ex 2 years ago I was horrible with women in general. One of the things I did to ease myself was to get laid with prostitues. This helped boost my confidence a lot when I was really depressed and soon I no longer needed them. The confidence I got from banging them helped me game hb 7,8 and 9s. As long as you use condoms and take other measure you will be safe against STDs. I dont think I´m the coolest and most alpha guy ever but i definitely have more sucess with girls and social life than I did 2 years ago.
my circle is of nerd guys
You dont have to distance yourself from your old friends, but if you want to become more popular, social and outgoing you will have to find friends that want the same thing that you want. It will be hard at first but keep looking, however never sound needy or desperate to win their friendship go slow and see if they are willing to become more close to you. Otherwise move on, just like you do with girls.
Anyways good luck!
You always need to tease, flirt and even mock in a friendly way.
Again, I am not that bad at this, my problem is more like I am not interacting with girls in my daily life due to unfortunate restrictions such as going to an engineering school and not living on campus. To make up for this, I always have my eyes open and keep checking girls out, but at this point I feel like a creep who keeps staring at people for no reason.
I´m not sure you can do those things in your culture due to the differences in our cultures.
Honestly the culture is mostly the same, at least in my environment. Except most people are virgins and sex is a taboo, but once you become Chadish it is easy to set things up.
Prostitution I wish I did that when I was in Europe, I can't trust them here.
Social and outgoing you will have to find friends that want the same thing that you want.
Yeah, and the more I covertly talk about TRP concepts the more people agree, but none hit the rock-bottom as us did sometime so they mostly don't do anything about improving themselves. I need to find new friends but it is tough when everyone already has their circle - and it is my last year, meaning your character is already boxed in a mental view of others and it is very hard to change that.
[–]AncientScrolls1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I am not interacting with girls in my daily life due to unfortunate restrictions such as going to an engineering school
I´m majoring in CS so my classmates are mostly composed of nerds whose hobbies are watching animes, playing videogames and worship anything that the geek culture tells them to do so. In order to stay away from their toxic bluepill lifestyle I go to activities in my University Campus where I can meet people from other majors. Such as parties, events and clubs.
unfortunate restrictions such not living on campus
I dont live in my campus as well but there is still plenty of chances to meet good hot looking women from Law School, Psychology and Liberal Art Students. You should try to find excuses or activities that allow you to meet them.
I need to find new friends but it is tough when everyone already has their circle - and it is my last year, meaning your character is already boxed in a mental view of others and it is very hard to change that.
What you´re saying is totally right. People do have a tendency to classify each other such as The Nerd Guy, The Loser, The Hotshot and The Troublemaker. Unfortunately everyone does even us, since no one can see how a person behaves 24/7 thats the best way our human brains evolved to allow us to know who we can trust. What you need to learn is to play with those classifications in the future try to be classified as the "Hot Bad Boy" that all the girls fantasy about and follow all the cliches about this steriotype. It will probably be hard for you to remove your label if u r already in your last year. However in the future learn to watch out to not end up classified as a boring nerd.
[–]johnyann2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Now when I go out it is a sea of fucking trolls. Ugly fucking trolls!
This is so true. I struggled with the same exact thing. Be it Tinder, or going out in real life.
It felt impossible to even find other people I was even attracted to.
What I had to do was to just keep at it. Visit new places. Try new things. Meet new people. Expand my social circle.
Turned out that suburbia fucking sucks when you're under 30 and trying to find beautiful women. So I went out to the city that was like 20 miles away. Lets just say I forgot about my ex VERY quickly.
It's like a job. Maybe the job market sucks where you live. So what do you do? Just work a shitty job you're better than because you are too lazy to move to where the good jobs actually are? NO!
Live to your privilege.
[–]Mailman7[S] 3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I think more than anything this has been the hardest thing to deal with. The soul crushing scarcity. When a girl breakups she just has to step outside her front door and there is a line of men waiting. The breakup is relatively easy and she just moves on. When a guy breaksup he steps outside and there is just tumbleweed. And that scarcity is even worse when you're dating a really attractive woman. To replace that is so difficult, even if you're fairly high value guy.
The scarcity has killed more than anything I would say. You can't go back knowing what you had. I go out and it's nothing but trolls smoking with their thin lips, bad skin and terrible voices etc. My girl had the most ridiculously perfect lips, big boobs and sultry spanish accent. It was intoxicating.
I know this is right. It's the only option. It's just hard. I think going somewhere where there is better quality woman is something I have to do.
[–]destraht1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She sounds really nice and also in my experience the foreign ones who make it over can be so far above the rest. Why don't you go travel to some other country where they are pumping those out of the factory 24/7? You can still sell them the American dream while the illusion holds. I bet that if you went to some cool place for 7 days that even if you didn't get laid that you would be cured of this oneitis just due to all of the face time that you would get with absolute bombshells. I know that up until I left it was super banging girls here and there and then drought since I didn't like the local stock. So being in a place where I could practice my game with tons of super hot girls who actually want to communicate and ALSO aren't hitting me with the BITCHY variety of shit tests was just amazing. Chat it up with these hotties and figure in buying a girl for a massage or sex somewhere just to know in your mind 100% that you are getting something. Then have fun and enjoy who you are around. If you speak to ten amazing looking intelligent women and then have some decent one touch your pepe for a while then your brain won't know the difference. You might even get lucky and do some BS email stuff for a while until you both move on.
[–]2littleblacktruck2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
How do you get over an ex?
The same way as I get over a failed drive shaft or refrigerator. I replace it with a newer model.
[–]ShotgunTRP0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This guy doesn't have the paycheck to upgrade. He's looking for second hand give away on gumtree. Pedestalling that cholo pussay like its the finest 2 door icemaking water cooling fridge ever.
[–]MisterRoid2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Start thinking what a fucking cunt she is for betraying you and focus on her negative sides. That whore was probably fucking the other guy before she broke up with you. They always do that. Either way, the most important thing is to stop putting her on a pedestal. Later on, you will be able to look back on it and think it was nice because you got some sex out of it, but for now you should be pissed off, and rightly so.
Afterwards, you will realize that she's nothing special and no different from any other girls, and that insight will help you maintain your future relationships. Being ready to leave a girl at any time and showing that when she's misbehaving will make you more attractive.
PS: I hope you fucked her raw and cummed in her pussy. If you are lucky that other guy is getting cucked by you.
[–]PillTheRed3 points 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Quit being a bitch and find where your balls went.
[–]Frosty19901 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I can relate I'm going through a serious phase but you gotta fight through it, and honestly you gotta start fucking bitches again you'll get over it in due time, the hardest part is the starting to fuck bitches part basically moving on
Good luck bro
[–]AssMaster951 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You’re probably not in a state of mind to really let it sink in, but she did you like that and you still want her? Why? If a friend treated you like shit constantly, would you still want them in your life? No. You’re focusing on the wrong things right now. Move your focus elsewhere, even if it feels like you’ve lost something special.
[–]NobleFarore1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Best way to get over a girl is to find yourself between the legs of another woman. Preferably many! There is no better tonic that will slap some sense back into you than that.
I get that you think your ex was a unicorn or whatever but AWALT. You can be the highest SMV dude in the world and women will still pull this shit. Keep improving, stay busy and active, and start fucking sluts.
[–]destraht1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Travel or live in another country. If you are 30 and haven't done it then banging just-another Western girl in a Central American hostel would set you straight. Its incredibly easy to bang these girls over a week or two period if you get settled into the right place [, meaning you might not bump into the right girl in just 3-4 days and also a lot of these girls want a very short fling and not a one-night stand]. The quality of the girls is like university all over again and possibly even better and they are on vacation. Perhaps you should try San Juan del Sur, Nicaragua flying into Managua. I liked it a lot there because most people don't fly directly into Nicaragua and so its people on a very long voyage just passing through.
It was great for me when I was 28 but now after living in Ukraine and EE for years I just can't stand any of the Western women from any of the countries in any of the countries. It was good for me at the time but now I always go for local girls. You should probably go for the 23 year olds who just finished university. For myself, appreciating women coming from more simple environments (such as less money, slower pace) is a taste that is growing on me.
[–]1Entropy-71 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It can be rough, but seriously 5 months? I got really fucked up by an ex but that was after 18 months,
It depends on the nature of your relationship and how it collapsed. If she was ninja bitch and dumps you out of the blue and cuts you out of her life, then cut her out of your life and move the fuck on.
If there was some more complicating factor (my ex was a single mother with BPD but otherwise gorgeous and loving) then you either work though it or seek closure.
When you have dated a certain quality of woman it is incredibly difficult/impossible to take a step backwards. Why would I want to drive a Honda when I have been driving a Ferrari?
A bit of history:
My 20's I spent my time in a series of LTRs with some very pretty women. These were basically back-to-back so 3-1/2 year with one and then within a few weeks, another for a year and a half, and then another for a year and a half.
Then I went into my manslut stage and proceeded to bang a bunch of HB4s over the course of a year or so. It was all in good fun and just ONS but at one point I had to slap myself.
Then I said "fuck this" and only chased HB8s.
Consider youself as a B-52. Originally, it would drop bombs all over the place and hope to hit something. Then there was a shift to outfit it with a crap-load of cruise missiles - precision targetting and all that.
Hondas can be fun to zip around in but if you want a Ferrari, then go get a Ferrari and stop whining about it.
[–]BenGrowinGreens0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Fuck bitches. Get money. (Lift).
[–]strikethrough1230 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Fuck five different women, if that doesn't cut it, fuck five more.
[–]LavaPipe0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Fuck other women. Jesus Christ, even your analogy is shit, it should’ve said how can I enjoy driving nothing when I drove a Camry once, because that’s what you’re doing, driving nothing instead of working to get at some other cars. She was nothing special I can guarantee that. She is a slut. If you fuck other women and get some goddamned variety you’ll be over her in a heartbeat. Hell maybe you’ll find a new oneitis
[–]UKRealist0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's ok to feel down but what happened is really common. She dumped you and quickly got pregnant by another man. She's really not as special as she feels in your mind and you need to remember that.
Focus on yourself and this will all go away in time. I've been through it several times and it felt awful in the moment. Now I don't feel a thing and I'm happy with my life, partner and beautiful son. All of which represent a huge upgrade on the exes.
Very cliche but time heals, use the current time to improve and get over things.
[–]gumbeedo0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
First of all, y'all dated for 5 months. Stop being a fucking bitch. Second of all, I feel for you, because I have been in your shoes with an ex and it turned out to be the best thing that's ever happened to me. Get angry. Channel that energy towards becoming the best version of yourself humanly possible. Stuff yourself balls deep in as many whores as possible. Most importantly, don't do it to get over her. Do it because you have some goddamn respect for yourself.
Edit: Spelling
[–]thesmithofwords -1 points0 points1 point 8 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
I feel you bro, Spanish women my god......
My current oneitis sounds identical to your ex, Spanish, educated & smart, funny, and of course pretty good looking. She isnt as hot as other girl's I've been with, I'd rate her a HB6 (7 with makeup), but fuck man that personality... Haven't felt a connection like this to a girl in my entire life. Needless to say I'm fucking obsessed with her, trying to listen to TRP and suppress it from showing to some success, but on the inside I am having serious problems changing.
[–]Mailman7[S] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It's unreal. I've always had a weakness for Spanish and Latinas. My ex was from Spain and if you get the opportunity I would highly recommend dating one. You won't regret it... well, unless you fall in love with her and she breaks your heart like what happened with me lol. But even then, I don't regret being with her. I would highly recommend dating any foreign girls, but a Spanish girl, no question, make it happen. You haven't lived until you've dated a Spanish girl haha.
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[–]NazoXIII14 points15 points16 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Mailman7[S] -1 points0 points1 point (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]trpingthroughtime4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]WaterHound1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]0signal01 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]beta_bud8 points9 points10 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]NazoXIII1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Mailman7[S] 2 points3 points4 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]PillTheRed3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Mailman7[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]beta_bud0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Cato-The-Elder5 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]AncientScrolls3 points4 points5 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]thr0w4w4yaway 1 points1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]AncientScrolls1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]thr0w4w4yaway 1 points1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]AncientScrolls1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]johnyann2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Mailman7[S] 3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]destraht1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]2littleblacktruck2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ShotgunTRP0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MisterRoid2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PillTheRed3 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Frosty19901 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AssMaster951 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NobleFarore1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]destraht1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]1Entropy-71 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BenGrowinGreens0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]strikethrough1230 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]LavaPipe0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]UKRealist0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]gumbeedo0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]thesmithofwords -1 points0 points1 point (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Mailman7[S] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link