The actual source for this information is here. This is NOT mine. I found it to be useful, so I'm posting it here.

  • Guys in monogamous relationships are going to find soft nexting very difficult emotionally, if not impossible. I rarely expect a guy in a monogamous relationship to actually soft next his gal. This is because of the neediness, oneitis, and scarcity frame the system of monogamy tends to create. Threaten a soft next, perhaps, but not actually do it. That being said, soft nexting can and should be done in monogamous relationships. It will help immensely.

  • One last point before I get into the specifics. Soft nexting is impossible if you live with a woman. That’s right. It’s impossible. Even if the relationship is a poly one, it will be impossible to properly execute a soft next if you both live full-time in the same home. Yeah, you could leave and get a hotel room for a night or two, but that’s not a soft next, that's just pouting. She’s knows you’ll have to come back, thus the removal of attention is not as powerful. This is why if you live with a woman you’re just going to have to put up with more drama than normal.

  • Soft nexts work because it is removal of attention. Women crave attention from you more than anything else. Yelling at them, arguing with them, threatening them is all ATTENTION, thus these things will do very little to actually improve her behavior. Worse, these things usually just encourage a woman to give you even more drama. Soft nexting them is removing their attention, which is very powerful.

Okay, here’s how you soft next:

  1. As soon as she starts giving you drama, give her about 20 to 30 seconds to say what’s bothering her. After that, if she keeps giving you drama (yelling, complaining, crying, refusing sex, demanding, whatever), immediately execute the soft next. Do this IMMEDIATELY. Do not argue with her for 20 minutes then soft next. No, no, no. A soft next must be done immediately or else it just looks like you’re pouting because you “didn’t get your way”.

  2. STAY CALM. DON'T GET MAD. SAY NOTHING. DON’T TALK. SHUT UP.

  3. Simply get up, grab your coat, walk out, get in your car, and drive away. If she screams something like "Where are you going?" or "Don't walk away from me!" or "If you walk out that door don't ever call me ever again!", JUST IGNORE HER and LEAVE. BE A MAN AND CONTROL YOURSELF.

  4. As you’re driving away, turn off your cell phone so she can’t call or text you. Because believe me, she will.

  5. If you’re at a location where she doesn't have her own car, grab your keys and calmly say "let's go". Then drive her directly to her home, drop her off, and leave. If it's a more minor offense, or a first offense, I might say something like "would you like to go home?" That either shuts her up, in which case I'll relent, or she'll continue the drama or answer "yes", in which case we get into my car and I drive her home.

  6. While you drive her home, DON’T TALK TO HER. Turn the car radio to your favorite station and listen to music during the drive. If she really pesters you, just calmly answer, “I’m not discussing this.”

  7. I’ll say it again. DON’T TALK. DON’T ARGUE. DON’T GET MAD. DON’T EXPLAIN YOUR ACTIONS. With some of you more emotional or talkative guys, the urge to yell back at her or defend yourself is going to be overwhelming. Fight it. Be a man, and stay the course.

  8. Once you’re gone from her, do not communicate with her in any way for 3 to 7 days (depending on the severity of the drama she gave you). If she contacts you, calls you, emails you, texts you, IGNORE IT AND DON’T RESPOND. I don’t care if she calls you 30 times in a row. If she does this, turn off your cell phone and wait two hours.

  9. This step isn't mandatory, but I strongly recommend it. Any email, text, or voice mail she sends you during the soft next period, DELETE IT WITHOUT READING IT (or listening to it). I'm serious. It's just going to be full of angry irrational chick-logic BS that she's going to completely forget about in a few days. Reading this shit will just upset you for NO REASON. Just delete it and move on with your life. Quoting Tub: "Treat her words like the inane babble of a small child." At this point in the game, that's all it is.

  10. Very important: During the soft next you should either go fuck other women or refocus on your MISSION. Ideally, you should do both (though if you’re in a monogamous relationship I guess you can’t fuck other women…yuck). I've made it a habit of immediately fucking another woman as soon as I soft next a chick, like that evening (unless it really is too late in the evening.) This does wonders for your abundance mentality and outcome independence. The last thing you want to be doing during a soft next is moping around and pining away for her.

  11. Contact her 3 to 7 days later LIKE NOTHING EVER HAPPENED. Just send her a text and say “Damn it’s cold today!” or “Hey that movie is coming out on Friday! Let’s go see it.” LITERALLY like NOTHING HAPPENED. If you executed the soft next correctly, she’ll resume the conversation and the relationship like nothing ever happened. Then proceed with your relationship. When you meet up with her again, you'll find her shockingly nice, happy, fun, and thankful. Try it and you'll see.