So I meet this girl a couple of years ago through a friend of a friend. We're expats, so we all kind of meet eventually, it's incestuous that way. We see each other around every once in a while but more distant acquaintances than friends.

A while ago she decides she wants to live in my (awesome) neighborhood. No other expats live here, so it's hard to get in unless you have local knowledge. That's where I come in.

So she asks me to help her find a house and I do. She moves in. Within a week she has a "housewarming party" which I'm invited to but I leave early; bunch of frat boy types puking in the bushes. Not exactly my scene.

So after I leave, apparently a bunch of these douches decide it would be really cool to go around and TAG THE NEIGHBORHOOD IN ENGLISH. Yeah. So there's now graffiti all over the neighborhood, in English, in a place where I've spent a year building up a good relationship with the locals and trying to show them that not all white people are drunken drug addicted idiots. I go over to her house and tell her I want to see all of the graffiti cleaned up. She denies all responsibility, "Oh yeah, those guys were really stupid, I'll tell them to clean it up." The result is a halfhearted attempt to smear the graffiti around with turpentine.

Strike one, bitch.

So a couple of weeks ago she decides she's sick of teaching English and, like me, wants a super cool location independent job because being a digital nomad is all the rage. I'm sure she tried blogging or vlogging about her awesome life but failed to make any money at it. So now she wants in on MY GIG.

A word on the work I do, and the company I work for: the work is finite, so if I bring someone else on board, I could potentially lose work (money) myself. But my policy has always been that if someone is as good as or better at my job than I am, then I need to man up and improve or quit whining.

So I give her contact information to my boss. Please bear in mind that I know NOTHING about her professionally. So I simply pass her email address on and write, "This is my neighbor's email address, she wants some work, she seems reasonably intelligent."

FUCK I'm a nice guy.

So I tell her that's what I wrote to my boss. She comes back complaining that it was snarky of me to call her reasonably intelligent. Now I'll admit that it wasn't exactly a glowing recommendation- I don't even know this bitch, really, we say "hi" to each other in passing sometimes. I said exactly what I think is true. She seems reasonably intelligent.

So I spend a little time trying to smooth over her feelies, and she's like, oh, I just want to make sure you didn't say something to your boss that would ruin my chances, so I even send her a screenshot of the email showing her that that's all I said.

Now last time I see her, she's like, Oh, they sent me some trial work to see how I'd do, and I don't know how to do it, it's really hard, could you show me an example of what you do so I have an idea of what to do…?

Inside, I'm going, no, fuckface. No. I've done all I'm doing for you, ok?

Outside I'm all smiles. Yup. It is hard. That's why I get paid the big bucks. Sink or swim, baby. I didn't send her an example.

So…why exactly does this bitch think I owe her? Granted, she could be considered attractive in a humpty dumpty post wall sort of way. But, sorry, not my type, and I've seen the a couple of her one night stands parading in and out. Like I really want their sloppy seconds.

Now I would have done everything I did for her for a fellow man. But now, like a fellow man, I'm going to let her stand on her own two feet. If she can. Hope she gets an attitude change about teaching English.

Thanks, red pill, for showing me the light and letting me vent.