I've fallen back into my blue-pill mentality and really need some help.

5peasinapod · 2016-10-29T14:33:25+00:00

NeoreactionSafe · 2016-10-29T13:34:45+00:00

The beta suffers more than others.

And the reason is that your neediness is rooted in the association of this girlfriend as your emotional replacement for a mother.

In your mind it's as if your mother said she disowned you.

You see the problem was in your image of her from the beginning... she was something you made romantic emotions towards and in your fantasy you were finally reconnecting with the mother image. (unconsciously)

Now the mother has rejected you... you feel alone.

The cure goes like this:

Men love women, women love children, children love puppies

You must stop with the "Puppy Love" which creates your Oneitis and develop the type of love that is masculine love.

In the future you must become the man... and stop playing the role of puppy or child.

Think of puppies... think long and hard on them.

snakehayter · 2016-10-29T15:48:13+00:00

Get used to this feeling of pain, every time you think of her, remind yourself that she doesnt care at all about you. An ex boyfriend to a girl is like a broken car to a guy, all those happy memories don't increase the car's value if it cant perform basic tasks.

I understand emotions can be tough to control, but as a man you should understand that logic is not beyond you. There is nothing logical about oneitis.

Ehipassika · 2016-10-29T15:59:05+00:00

Accepting these feelings and thoughts when they arise, instead of fighting them and wishing to do away with them only for them to get a stronger grip on your mind, allows them to cease naturally. If you resist they'll persist.

When you see them you can call them out: "this is grief", "this is wanting", "this is jelousy" and just like that they lose their power and they cease on their own accord.

Be with them, don't be them.

TheJedi_Lied · 2016-10-29T17:23:40+00:00

We've all had our tickets here. Only nine months, no marriage, no kids, all in all not bad. You're in college, college girls do that. You didn't waste nine months of your life man, you lived it. It's cliche, but have faith that time will smooth it out. When you can picture her fucking some guy and not get butthurt you made it. Oneitis is a motherfucker. Personal growth man, its all you got. Happiness isn't in any vagina I've found.

Solpig · Sat Oct 29 18:19:19 2016 UTC

I felt this way after a 16 year marriage. .... 16 years of "I love you" and all the other thing. Kids, Rings, anniversary's, chances to cheat that I never took, playing the BP white knight.

Read "Hypergamy doesn't care".

https://therationalmale.com/2012/05/16/hypergamy-doesnt-care/

and know this. There isn't a guy on this forum who hasn't been where you are. You are not alone... she wasn't yours, it was just your turn.

troghin2 · 2016-10-29T11:43:09+00:00

If it's that bad, stay on your own for a while, focus on your shit and yourself. The most important aspect of this is that it is imperative that you start internalizing a "IDGAF" mantra. Yes, start as soon as possible and do it every fucking hour.

Then, let a couple of days pass by and go fuck ten other girls.

[deleted] · 2016-10-29T23:53:58+00:00

[permanently deleted]

selfsufficientnigga · 2016-10-30T00:38:54+00:00

There is no quick cure.

You'll just have to internalize that that woman was not special. You made her special by giving yourself to her. And now you yearn for her because of how she made you feel. But, again, she wasn't special. The way YOU felt when YOU were with her is what was special, and that is not linked or exclusive to her. You will find other women that you will be able to have the same feeling with. YOU need to internalize that YOU deserve a high-quality babe with looks, charm and personality, not a cheap, fickle whore who doesn't even dare to tell you in face that she's abandoning you.

Because that's all this person is. A cheap, fickle whore who didn't even dare to tell you in face that she's abandoning you. She's not special, and you can do much better.

thescalpmaster1 · 2016-10-29T13:01:26+00:00

These 3 comments posted here are useless because they don't address the root of the problem. Seems like they don't know what redpill is (and neither do you).

Redpill doesn't mean holding your frame, be alpha forever in your life. It's not self-improvement either.

It's an evolution from your natural bluepill mentality. Think of it this way to make things simpler and easier.

You're either a bluepill or a redpill. There's no switching in between(unless you've been faking 'being alpha' all the time).

If you're a redpill, you will not get depressed simply because you have already accepted and understood what women are deep inside. If you're a fake alpha or a fake PUA, you will keep on switching back and forth between your fake mentality and your real mentality because your sub-conscious knows that you've been acting all along.

So, accept that redpill mentality is an evolution of your natural bluepill one. And, completely accept it. Don't pretend to be fake alpha. Understand that being alpha is more of a mindset than anything else. I recently saw a fat guy(not obese) who pulled HB7 chicks better than some of the ripped and muscular guys I've known.

Being alpha is not a hold-frame strategy. And, lifting like a beast everyday doesn't guarantee that you'll get laid more than charlie sheen.

Understand that it's all inside your mind. That's the first thing you must learn to completely accept redpill and never turn back again in your life.

You're not making a mistake. In fact, all these new guys here are 'pretend' alphas too. Don't worry, they'll realize their mistake in probably a few years.

Hakametal · 2016-10-29T14:42:06+00:00

You need to cry. You need to dig those nasty, uncomfortable emotions out and put them on the table. Either hire a professional counselor or cry into your pillow when you're alone.

I was in the same situation a few months ago. The girl I got oneitis for dumped me and ran off with another guy. For 4 months I thought I was over her, then one night I saw her out with that guy and it absolutely broke me (alcohol in my system didn't help).

It wasn't til I dug those raw and uncomfortable emotions out that I was able to truly move on. You have emotions deep down that NEED to come out. I know this has probably been said to you before by your friends, but you will get over this chick, but you have to face your emotions head on.

NeedsMoreBatman · 2016-10-29T15:13:55+00:00

these feelings are normal to have given the circumstances you were in. Sucks but the only thing that helps you move on is time. You have a lot of emotions? good. use them. put them towards you and only you. blast whatever pumped up music gets you through your hate-filled rage when you imagine her getting nailed by someone else and use that to fuel yourself at the gym or in ur studies.

i found out that one of my best friends swooped in on my ex not 2 months after she and i broke up in a 4 year relationship. it didn't take more than a few minutes for me to download a c25k app and start running my ass off. it wouldve been more productive to lift weights but i didnt have access to a gym at the time. you get the point though.

you can't control how you feel, but you can use them to your benefit. best of luck

ReddittFeist · 2016-10-29T17:19:14+00:00

Duuude ... It's Halloween this Monday.

It's going to be non-stop partying all weekend. With chicks in sexy Halloween costumes.

You have an addiction based on opiate receptors just like those caused by opiate drugs (morphine, herion etc.) It fucking hurts to go cold turkey off shit like that, and that's the same for getting off oneitis brain addictions.

The cold turkey cure is the famous advice popularized in the alt.seduction.fast community: Go Fuck Ten other Women (GFTOW)

I've seen this cure bith oneitis and betadom myself. It's field-tested.

But you hafta take the hard step of sucking it up, going out to parties when you don't think you want to. And finding the first chick(s) in your GFTOW cure.

There's no better weekend to do it! Halloween is when chicks give themselves permission to have sex that doesn't count.

Are you a man or a mouse?

Get out of the house!

grewapair · 2016-10-30T00:31:33+00:00

No girl who is meeting the kind of guys she likes spends hundreds of dollars on a party.

In my blue pill days, I felt the same way about a girl I was living with for 4 years after we broke up. I imagined she found a million guys all better than me. Nope.

She ended up marrying a beta loser because she was running out of time and no one else would have her. I feel sorry for the guy.

ecosci · 2016-10-30T02:08:15+00:00

Time will only help you get over her thats why you gotta have options just in case she pulls the hypergamy trigger other hot women are the bullet proof vest her knowing this will keep the tingles active.

askmrcia · 2016-10-30T03:02:55+00:00

Trust me, I know what you going through. I'm in a similar position. Except my ex will be attending the same party as me in like 30mins due to us having the same social circle.

The only reason I'm not hurting as much as you is because I had three other guys to talk to about the situation and they made me feel better.

I'm still going to this Halloween party. And if I see her there, I'll be respectful but not try to talk to her too much.

My best advice is to just go after other women. You're doing all the right things now and it's going to hurt. I don't think you're beta at all. It's completely natural.

You'll be fine man. There's plenty of women out there.

savagedealer · 2016-10-30T13:15:11+00:00

The day you look to women to fill that empty hole inside you is the day you doom yourself to damnation . Until you understand that woman will always be able to see right through any amount of lifting and making money you could ever do you won't understand the truth ... will looking good get you laid ? Sure will having a good job get you a gf ? Sure but once they see that your main happiness is directly linked to them your done for brother .

newName543456 · 2016-10-30T20:39:43+00:00

She acted as like all the times she said I love you meant nothing and everything that came along with it.

And here's where you go BP. Feelz were gone for her, so all those things you thought had any meaning, stopped having one pronto.

Impermanence, pal. Get on board with that concept.

sd4c · 2016-10-31T01:44:56+00:00

Here is what helped me. I put a note on my wall in the hallway where I would see it several times a day. It was about getting better ass (than my ex). It said:

"You will feel better when you get better. You will get better when you become better."

Improve yourself. I told myself I could break no-contact when I hit 190 (I'm a skinny guy).

By the time I got there, I didn't care anymore

2ChainZinMedSchool · 2016-10-30T07:11:12+00:00

Quickest way: fuck another girl and listen to biggie, snoop and dre. https://youtu.be/0Ogs_NsXh58

trpthrowaway1852 · 2016-10-30T07:43:31+00:00

Go fuck ten chicks, then come back and tell us how you feel. Find hookers if you have to. Once you are done, you'll realize your ex is a total nobody.

unagedbourbon · 2016-10-31T13:27:01+00:00

How is your relationship with your mother?

If it's good, ignore my comment. If it's bad, you may benefit a little by what I have to say.

The relationship I had with my mother was one of the worst thing about my infancy and teenage years. She used to drink, smoke and curse loudly in front of me, hit me with her wooden fork, mock me in front of my friends, call me a failure whenever I got a bad grade. The peaking point was when she attempted suicide by swallowing sleeping pills. But my breaking point was when she pointed a pair of scissors to my neck because I was playing a videogame on her computer without asking. I was 15. I am 21 now.

Why am I telling you this? Because I have never had a mother. I have never experienced the unconditioned love only a mother can offer you. This deeply affected my relationship life and the way I saw girls, but it took me years and a therapist to realize it.

I wasn't interested in a relationship with a girl, at least not the healthy kind: two people who are attracted to each other, have sex and fun together until it lasts. I wanted the unconditioned love I have never had the chance to experience, and that I could never get from a girl that wasn't my mother.

This made me needy and didn't allow me to move on from any relationship. Not because I was still into them, but because an unconditioned love cannot end and my mind couldn't accept it.

I feel this is your problem. The solution, for me, was to become 100% self-dependent. I forced my mind to realize I didn't need a mother, and that, paired with a couple of very bad relationships, made so that I no longer gave a fuck about having one.

TL;DR: Become self-dependant.

ex_addict_bro · 2016-10-29T18:52:12+00:00

You looking for morale boost?

Here it goes: stop being a whiny faggot.

Wanna see something cool? Go watch Jocko Willink's profile on Twitter. Then read his book "Extreme ownership".

I don't care if you get back to the same mentality or not. Less competition is a bad thing, but if life gives me oranges...

FleshFleshForFantasy · 2016-10-30T16:18:10+00:00

Ok. Stop being a pussy now and go hunt other preys.

Title	I've fallen back into my blue-pill mentality and really need some help.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	35
Comments	49
Date	October 29, 2016 11:04 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/59zzil/ive_fallen_back_into_my_bluepill_mentality_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/ive-fallen-back-into-my-blue-pill-mentality-and.64053 https://theredarchive.com/post/64053

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