"Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor."

  • Alexis Carrel

Good evening men. It is currently 2:30am where I am right now, which would mean it technically isn't the evening anymore, but rather the morning, but that doesn't matter.

Unable to sleep because of what finally hit me, I would like to take a small amount of your time to talk about this quote. I've seen it before. You've seen it before. We've all seen it before and I'm sure it's given us all a fleeting moment of motivation and then drifted away. However to me it finally cemented itself.

I understand that Carrel's original intentions for this quote were in alignment with the theory and execution of eugenics. I also understand that quotes can be taken out of context and still serve in another applicable situation. In my short time here with TRP, this quote has been most applicable to me.

Over the past few months I have been struggling to get over a single girl. All of my attention was on her and I couldn't shake it. She is maybe a 6 or a 7, but that meant nothing to me while I hamstered and kept clouded eyes.

As this feeling built inside of me, I eventually told her how I felt about her. I demanded a response from her about how she felt about me, but I received nothing. She simply said she didn't know and needed time. I gave her that time.

After a couple of weeks I again asked her about her feelings for me and again I received nothing. This stuck with me as I began following RP advice and I eventually decided to cut her off. However, I let everyone down by apologizing and saying it was stupid of me to just stop talking to her, but I demanded to know what she thought of me. Again, she discarded that idea and said she needed time to get over this current situation because it hurt her feelings. I gave her that time.

Mind you, all of these interactions occurred over text, but I decided to man up (only a little) and meet her for a study session during finals. It was great, not weird at all, and seemed to be going in my favor. I began to pick up RP more again, and followed simple rules such as texting less and meeting up in person, so I got a hold of her to set up a date. One was for seeing lights at the zoo (actual date) and then another time was meeting up during New Year's Eve.

Both times she said she would love to, but for the first one she needed to check her schedule. I told her to get back to me for when she was available, though of course she never got back to me. And as I'm sure you can assume, we never met up for New Year's Eve.

Since then we've hardly contacted each other, but I've thought of her. A lot. But I'm happy to say I was getting over her slowly. We talked rarely and I made sure to cut the conversation short because I had a feeling I was in a losing situation.

All this led up to this past weekend. I stayed in, mostly focusing on job applications as I am recent college graduate as of December 2014, however my fraternity was having a party and it was with her sorority. It meant nothing to me. However I received some news the next day that hit me in the core.

It turns out she fucked one of my friends in the bathroom in the middle of the party. Now this didn't completely blow me away as I heard before that she fucked some guy the first night that I told her how I felt (and saw her later that night too), but it did clear my mind in a way that is hard to describe. It hit me in my gut for a second, but then gave me some clarity about the whole situation.

I'm not upset with my friend. He knew nothing about how I felt about her. No one did but her (and I'm sure her friends). He took advantage of an opportunity while she shit on me while I leashed to a fake idea.

That day after she fucked my friend, she sent me a text simply saying hi. She said we hadn't talked for a while, which I agreed, and cut the conversation off immediately after. It no longer meant anything to me.

I'd had her number deleted in my phone for a while, but this finally gave me the strength to completely cut her out of my social media. It's easier said than done when you crave the hamstering, but this situation finally gave me the understanding for why it's necessary. So it's all done, nothing more, but I'm sure I will receive a text from her in the future about why I no longer follow her on any social media.

Maybe this story has been a bit dramatic for you guys, but it's exactly how I saw and experienced it. It was embarrassing and painful to type out, but it leads me to my original point.

Man cannot remake himself without suffering. My suffering didn't occur at the end. It occurred throughout those many months in which I committed myself to an impossible dream. It entranced me and wrecked havoc on my conscious at all times.

But it was worth it. It was worth it to provide me clarity and vision. The Red Pill says all women are like that, but it's hard to swallow until that truth punches you in the face in the real world. I feel more empowered now, like a darkness has entered me. Not something malicious, but rather a darkness that takes the place of the light provided by a white knight, a fake light. It's strong and there is confidence in it.

This community is unreal. I've never been part of something this unique. It's a hidden gem and I hope that it continues this way to help me and others. I have no place to give any of you advice, but I simply ask you all to continue suffering. Continue suffering with me as we remake ourselves in our own vision, not one provided to us by society. It's sure to be difficult and messy, but there is nothing more I'm looking forward to.