"No, lets wait with sex for a while..."

Bobsutan · 2013-01-18T10:42:08+00:00

I'll refer you to Iron Rule of Tomassi #3:

https://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2011/09/23/wait-for-it/

Iron Rule of Tomassi #3

Any woman who makes you wait for sex, or by her actions implies she is making you wait for sex; the sex is NEVER worth the wait.

I'm actually in the process of formalizing my thoughts on this since I feel being in an exclusive relationship means restricting intimacy with the person you agree to be exclusive with. In other words you are agreeing to be intimate exclusively with that other person. However, if there's no intimacy then how can there be exclusivity since restricted intimacy is the basis for the exclusivity in the first place? This applies equally well for established relationships as it does at the start of a relationship. If one partner stops having sex with the other then they've broken the exclusive intimacy agreement. Athol Kay talked about this in his book in relation to married couples. To quote the book:

Marriage is at its heart, a sexual relationship. Without the sex it's just a legally binding friendship, which is a needlessly complicated way of having a friend. The basic agreement of being married is to meet each other's sexual needs and not to run round getting them met anywhere else. Both affairs and sexless marriages break that relationship agreement.

For OP, next time this sort of thing comes up don't be so in her face about it. Just let it be assumed that you're not exclusive and will be seeing other women in the meantime. I'm curious how this topic even came up? You shouldn't even really be talking about this IMO since sex is a primal thing that should "just happen" at some point. If she's the one bringing it up, putting on the breaks, and flat out telling you she's taking it slow, then refer back to rule #3 above. All in all this is basically an issue with your game in that you're not getting her investment level high enough and her attraction level to you isn't where it should be. You can fix this in a variety of ways, one of which I think is the simplest is to be less available. This dovetails into what I mentioned previously with letting it remain assumed that you're seeing other people. If her interest level is high enough, her own rationalization hamster will spike attraction her for you. And you shouldn't be faking having other women in your life, you SHOULD be spinning mulitple plates. IMO it's really the only way to have the abundance mentality that makes so much of this stuff work.

nicethingyoucanthave · 2013-01-18T16:57:06+00:00

Can I ask a question of the community? And I can post this as a separate thread if needed.

How can we, on the one hand criticize women for "riding the cock carousel" and yet, at the same time criticize them for attempting to avoid that "carousel" by seeking long-term commitment by dating before they have sex?

I guess my question is, what would you do if you were a woman?

I'll give my own answer to this question: I would have sex with people I trust. I wouldn't do one-night stands, no matter how attractive the guy is. I would want to see how he treats me and how he treats others. I would want to see some indication that he is willing and able to commit to me in the same way that I'm willing to commit to him.

Note: There's also a list of things that I wouldn't do because they are, in my opinion, dishonorable (like dating a guy I have no attraction to because, hey free dinner!) but I don't think those things are relevant to this discussion, which is about when to have sex.

KeroKeroppi · 2013-01-18T17:47:40+00:00

Weird, I've never had a woman expect us to be exclusive BEFORE we have even had sex. I would not agree to that.. But, I wouldn't agree to exclusivity after 4 dates even if we WERE having sex, way too soon.

WorkThrow99 · 2013-01-18T17:24:17+00:00

I think you are way over thinking this. If you are with someone and they don't enjoy sex as much, and this doesn't align with what you want, just don't see them as much. See people who enjoy sex more, and for god's sake don't stop fucking other people. You don't have to say anything!
You don't need to go around telling people "well, sex is important, you should put out more", you just find people who put out more and drop those who don't and aren't jumping in your pants. And do the date activities with people that you enjoy doing the date activities with, for the activities sake. Fucking or not fucking doesn't matter at this point because you are doing everything because you want too. If you don't enjoy hanging with them, and are doing it just because you want a reward at the end, then you are doing it wrong. (And unless there is talk of exclusivity, you don't even have to justify fucking someone else. It goes without saying that if you require sex before exclusivity, just don't go exclusive until you get sex.)

shute · 2013-01-19T22:01:50+00:00

Needles to say she stormed out pissed off, and we fucked few days later.

this made me smile. as men we must always always remember to never default into nice guy/supplicating beta mode

Rollo-Tomassi · 2013-01-21T13:55:13+00:00

Relevant Link: https://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2012/02/07/three-strikes/

Put it this way, with just average Game, in 3 dates you should be able to determine if her desire level is high enough to want to fuck you.

In 3 dates you’ll know if her desire is genuine or if it’s mitigated by something else – another guy in rotation, sexual hangups, filibustering, etc.

In 3 dates you’ll have had sex or you’ll have had the “I wanna wait / I need to be comfortable talk.”

If you have sex on the 1st date or a same-night-lay, in all likelihood she’s really hot for, and into, fucking you based on physical criteria alone.

If you have sex on the 2nd or 3rd date, she’s into fucking you and probably wants a relationship because she wanted to give you a token impression of her not being ‘easy’.

If she fucks you after the 4th date, you’ll do as her first alternate.

If you’re sexless after 5-6 dates you’ve probably been at it for over 6 weeks and The Medium is the Message. NEXT

Djeed · 2013-01-19T00:22:12+00:00

How can we, on the one hand criticize women for "riding the cock carousel" and yet, at the same time criticize them for attempting to avoid that "carousel" by seeking long-term commitment by dating before they have sex?

I loved this question and would like to give my opinion. It looks to me that men tend to demonize women who go for sex with other men and who procrastinate with us because we fancy the idea of women going for sex with us and procrastinating with other men.

Title	"No, lets wait with sex for a while..."
Author	trpda
Upvotes	32
Comments	45
Date	January 18, 2013 7:53 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/16t2d4/no_lets_wait_with_sex_for_a_while/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/no-lets-wait-with-sex-for-a-while.3411 https://theredarchive.com/post/3411

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