Summary/TLDR

Get pissed off

Body

Are you aware that human beings have a default 'happy' state. In my experiences, I used to derive the happy state from the use of alcohol and the occasional bong hit. But after dropping the bad habits cold turkey I've seen happiness (read natural confidence) sky rocket and generate positive reactions from those around me.

Being fresh off of a cold turkey stint has left me irritable and in a state of craving, or Jonesing, for a fix of substances that will paint my reality bright. But with commitment and refusal to backtrack, I've witnessed my mind act as its own entity. It seeks to create a happy state and guides my thoughts, words, and actions accordingly. If someone is upsetting me I'll act to minimize their output and relinquish my frustration in any number of ways.

Low and behold my new outlook has created a 'zero tolerance for ignorance' demeanor. It's like there are two ways to align reality in my situation, one was to face an opposition or stressor and drug myself to a state of dissonant acceptance. The other way, though sobering and certainly more difficult, basically asserts my stance and therefore drives the outcome to be positive.

This is where I am getting into murky, uncharted territory however. This assertive personality attracts people, females being no exception, and I find myself despising there positive reactions with me. Mentally I view these new transactions with others under a light of neediness. Like why did I have to step up and better myself only so that others could gain from and take away their own satisfaction on the back of my hardships. I know it's weird to read and I'm confused as to why I hold this outlook but it's getting to the point where I see how putting pussy on a pedestal can really, really carry a negative impact on the perpetrator. Then wise words often stated here rang through my head.."Be the prize" and now it's starting to click, my attitude is aligning with my beliefs and revealing an epiphany that I feel should be mentioned and never, ever forgotten when interacting with females in the dating/sexual arena. And that is, just remember that you are selecting a future mate ultimately, that these women are on display and being judged in all sorts of manner relevant to relational and possibly familial outcomes.

Conclusion

Be the judge, not the contestant in this so-called dating game. This is done by coming from a place of higher value and cannot apply to fly-by-night fake attitudes generated by mind altering substances. Being sober is the biggest rush if the conflict is met with honesty and congruent with the player from deep within. A persona constructed from the depths of conflict, chaos, and confrontation that banishes the beta to the depths of fantasy land where it belongs.

Lessons Learned

1) Toxic substance abuse is a means of escaping problems.

2) Face the problems or be forever indebted to their diluted perceptions.

3) Consistency will chisel the gold block into a trophy and you will have become the prize.

4) Once you become the prize, higher consciousness will be your guiding judge as you play the game.